Curry's Chapel Church
20261004 - A Lesson in Anger Management
  • A Sermon on Becoming More Christlike When Emotions Run High
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    James 1:19–20 NIV
    19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
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    Introduction: With Open Hearts

    Church, as we’ve just heard from James 1:19–20, God calls us to be “quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” Those words sound simple when life is calm, but they become far more challenging when life hits us with something unexpected —something painful, something that shakes us to our core.
    You’ve heard me speak before about “Spiritual 2x4” moments, and as you may recall these are moments when God seeks to get us to pay attention to Him when we ignore His teaching or calling. The story I’m going to share with you today is another one of those moments for me.
    Today’s message comes from a very real and very recent experience in my own life. It’s not a theoretical lesson or a distant story. It’s something that happened just days ago, something that exposed emotions I thought were long under control, and something God used to teach me a hard but necessary lesson about anger, humility, and Christlike character.
    As I share this with you, I do so with honesty, with vulnerability, and with the hope that what God taught me through this moment will help you in your own moments of deep emotion. Because every one of us will face situations that test our patience, our self‑control, and our witness for Christ.
    With that in mind, let me take you into the moment that began this lesson —because before we can understand what Scripture teaches about anger, we need to see how quickly pain can ignite it and how easily it can take hold when we’re not prepared.
    So, with hearts open to God’s correction and comfort, let’s walk together into this message: “A Lesson in Anger Management.”
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    There are times...

    When Life Strikes Without Warning

    There are moments in life that arrive without warning and leave us shaken to the core. Moments that expose parts of our hearts we thought were long surrendered to Christ. This past Sunday, September 27, at about 2:05 PM, I faced such a moment. It was sudden, violent, heartbreaking —and it became a lesson in anger management.
    This is about our beloved cat Amissa, whose name means “friend” in Hebrew, and had been part of our family for 13 years. She was gentle, loyal, and woven into the rhythms of our home. But that afternoon, two loose dogs brutally attacked her. I saw it from about 250 feet away. I ran with everything in me, but I could not save her. She died in my arms as I carried her home.
    Pain like that doesn’t ask permission. It doesn’t wait for you to prepare spiritually. It simply arrives, and when it does, it often brings anger along with it. Scripture acknowledges this reality. Psalm 34 tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God does not rebuke us for feeling pain. But pain must be handled carefully, because pain can quickly become the spark that ignites anger.

    Main Teaching

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    There is a...

    Part 1: Pain That Ignites Anger

    Pain has a way of bypassing our logic and going straight to our emotions. When I held Amissa’s lifeless body, something inside me broke open. It was the angriest I had been since before becoming a believer. And that anger didn’t come from nowhere —it came from grief, shock, helplessness, and the sense of injustice that rises when something precious is taken from you.
    Scripture reminds us that even righteous people feel deep emotions. Proverbs says, “The righteous care for the needs of their animals…” and we certainly did. Losing her in such a violent way struck a deep chord. Pain often becomes the doorway through which anger enters. And if we are not careful, anger can take control before we even realize what’s happening.
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    There is a moment...

    Part 2: When Anger Takes Control

    My neighbors Tim and Dwayne immediately went to find the owners of the dogs. They were trying to help. But I didn’t know that at the time. But when another neighbor pointed me toward the direction the dogs lived, I reacted without thinking. I ran through a small section of woods —nearly falling on my face multiple times —driven not by wisdom, but by raw emotion.
    That was the first sign that my emotions were steering the ship. Proverbs warns us, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” A hasty temper leads to foolish actions. Running through the woods wasn’t sinful, but it sure was unwise. It was the beginning of a chain reaction.
    When I cleared the woods, I was beside myself in anger and grief. And when I reached the dogs owners, I erupted. I screamed. I berated. I cursed. I unleashed words that felt like venom even as they left my mouth. The owners were not defensive. They admitted responsibility. They offered condolences. They agreed to pay for Amissa’s cremation. They were trying to respond with concern and accountability.
    But my mind, clouded as it was by rage and emotion, refused to accept any of it.
    I went home, saw her still body again, and the emotions surged all over. I drove back to their house —this time avoiding the woods —and I started all over again. And the whole time, I felt like I was watching myself from the outside. My mind kept telling me to stop, but my mouth kept moving. It was as if anger had taken over the controls and I was just along for the ride.
    Anger becomes sin when it begins to control our actions instead of Christ controlling our hearts. Paul says, “Be angry and do not sin.” Anger itself is not sin. But anger that drives our behavior, anger that overrides compassion, anger that blinds us to truth — that anger becomes destructive.
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    We need to be aware of...

    Part 3: The Danger of Justifying Anger

    Some of you may feel sympathy for me. You may even say, “You were justified.” And honestly, I would probably say the same thing to you if you were in my shoes. But justified anger can still produce sinful behavior. Jesus Himself was angry at times, but His anger was always righteous, always controlled, always purposeful, and always directed at sin —not at people.
    My anger was not righteous. It was not controlled. It was not purposeful. And it was directed at people who were trying to respond responsibly and compassionately.
    Even in the moment, I knew Jesus would not have done what I was doing. And that realization pierced me. It reminded me that the phrase: “What Would Jesus Do?” is not a slogan —it is a standard. A standard that applies not only when life is calm, but especially so when life is chaotic.
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    We need to be aware of...

    Part 4: The Witness We Carry Even in Our Worst Moments

    I tell you this story not to gain sympathy, but to confess something important: nobody deserves to be treated without compassion, even when they are at fault. The dog owners were not my enemies. They were neighbors who were trying to do the right thing. But I treated them as enemies. And in doing so, I damaged my witness for Christ.
    James writes, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” My anger did not produce righteousness. It produced harm. It produced regret. It produced a moment I wish I could take back.
    But failure is not final when Christ is involved.
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    We need to choose...

    Part 5: The Christlike Path to Making Amends

    After the dust settled, I knew I had to make things right. Not because someone demanded it. Not because I was forced to. But because the Holy Spirit convicted me. I apologized to Tim and Dwayne for my vile behavior. Then—literally with a hat in hand as a symbolic gesture —I went back to the owners’ home to apologize for my actions and words.
    That moment of apology was humbling. But it was necessary. Jesus said in Matthew 5, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift… first be reconciled to your brother.” Reconciliation comes before worship. Apology comes before offering. Humility comes before holiness.
    Making amends is not weakness. It is Christlikeness.
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    So, this is...

    Part 6: What Scripture Teaches About Managing Anger

    Scripture gives us a clear path for handling anger in a Christlike way. It begins with recognizing the source. Anger is almost always a secondary emotion. Beneath it lies pain, fear, loss, injustice, shock, or helplessness. Understanding the source helps us address the root. Proverbs tells us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” If the heart is wounded, the emotions will be unstable.
    Another biblical principle is slowing down before reacting. Anger speeds us up. Wisdom slows us down. Proverbs says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience...” Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is pause. Count to ten. Step away. Breathe. And pray before speaking.
    We also must learn to surrender our emotions to the Holy Spirit. We cannot manage anger in our own strength. We need divine help. Galatians reminds us that self‑control is a fruit of the Spirit. That means it is not something we manufacture —it is something God produces in us when we yield to Him.
    Another lesson is speaking only after thinking. Words spoken in anger cannot be unsaid. Proverbs teaches, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Before speaking, ask yourself: Will this honor Christ? Will this help or harm? Would Jesus say this?
    And when we fail—and we will—we must seek reconciliation quickly. Anger left unresolved becomes bitterness. Paul warns us, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Apologize quickly. Own your actions. Seek peace. I however, delayed to do this out of embarrassment, even though I should have listened sooner.
    Finally, we must remember our witness. People may forget our words, but they will remember our tone. Colossians says, “Whatever you do… do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” That includes how we respond when life blindsides us.
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    How can we...

    Part 7: Become More Christlike in Future Moments

    While we cannot undo the past; we can prepare for the future. We can commit ourselves to pausing before reacting, praying before speaking, letting Scripture guide our emotions, choosing compassion over retaliation, remembering that people are not our enemy, allowing the Holy Spirit to govern our responses, apologizing quickly when we fail, protecting our witness, and asking “What Would Jesus Do?” before we act.
    Christlikeness is not proven in calm waters. It is proven in storms. And anger is one of the storms where Christlikeness shines brightest —that is when we choose His way over our instincts.
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    Now hear...

    Conclusion: A Call to Christlike Anger Management

    Anger is real. Pain is real. Loss is real. But so is the power of Christ to transform us. We will all face moments that test us. We will all face moments that expose our weaknesses. We will all face moments where our emotions threaten to take control. But in those moments, we must remember: Jesus is our example. The Holy Spirit is our helper. Scripture is our guide. Humility is our path. Reconciliation is our calling. And Christlikeness is our goal.
    May we commit ourselves to managing anger in a way that honors Christ, protects our witness, and reflects the love of God —even in moments of deep pain.
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    Closing Prayer

    Heavenly Father, We come to You acknowledging our need for Your grace, especially in moments when pain overwhelms us and anger rises within us. You know our hearts, our wounds, and the emotions that surge when life strikes without warning. Thank You for being close to the brokenhearted and for inviting us to bring our hurt to You.
    Lord Jesus, teach us to respond as You would respond. When anger flares, give us Your patience. When emotions run high, give us Your peace. When our words want to outrun our wisdom, give us Your self‑control. Shape our hearts so that even in sorrow, we reflect Your compassion and gentleness.
    Holy Spirit, help us surrender our emotions to You. Fill us with Your fruit and let it govern our reactions, guide our speech, and strengthen our witness. And when we fail, give us humility to make things right and courage to seek reconciliation.
    Thank You, Lord, for redeeming even our worst moments and turning them into lessons that draw us closer to You. Help us walk forward with a renewed commitment to Christlikeness, determined to ask in every situation, “What would Jesus do?”
    We pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

      • James 1:19–20NLT

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