Jubilee Community Church
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  • WHEN RIGHT IS WRONG

    When Winning Arguments Costs You Relationships
    Philippians 2:3–5 ESV
    3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
    ADDITIONAL READING
    Proverbs 13:10 ESV
    10 By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.
    James 3:17 ESV
    17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

    INTRODUCTION

    There is a difference between being right and needing to be right.
    One is about truth. The other is about pride.
    Many people are driven by an internal need to prove themselves, defend themselves, justify themselves, and make sure everyone knows they are correct. What begins as a desire for truth often becomes a desire for superiority.
    The drive to always be right has destroyed marriages, divided churches, broken friendships, split ministries, and hindered spiritual growth.
    The Pharisees were experts at being right. They knew the Law better than anyone. They could quote Scripture. They could debate theology. Yet somehow they stood face-to-face with Truth Himself and missed Him completely.
    Jesus never rebuked people for seeking truth. He rebuked people whose pride prevented them from receiving truth.
    The greatest danger is not being wrong.
    The greatest danger is becoming so convinced that we cannot be wrong that God can no longer correct us.

    THE ROOT OF THE NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

    Proverbs 16:18 (ESV)
    “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
    The need to always be right is often rooted in pride.
    Sometimes it comes from insecurity.
    Sometimes it comes from fear.
    Sometimes it comes from wounds.
    If I am wrong, then I feel weak.
    If I am wrong, then I feel exposed.
    If I am wrong, then I feel vulnerable.
    So instead of listening, we defend.
    Instead of learning, we argue.
    Instead of receiving correction, we resist it.
    Pride says:
    “I already know.”
    “Nobody can teach me.”
    “My perspective is the only perspective.”
    “If you disagree with me, you must be wrong.”
    Humility says:
    “Help me understand.”
    “I may be missing something.”
    “Teach me.”
    “Lord, search me.”
    The person who must always be right is often the person who is least teachable.

    BEING RIGHT CAN MAKE YOU WRONG

    Luke 18:9-14 (ESV)
    The Pharisee was technically right.
    He fasted.
    He tithed.
    He avoided many sins.
    Yet Jesus said the tax collector went home justified instead.
    Why?
    Because God is not merely looking for correct information.
    He is looking for a correct heart.
    The Pharisee’s accuracy became arrogance.
    His correctness produced contempt.
    His knowledge created distance between himself and others.
    It is possible to win an argument and lose your witness.
    It is possible to prove a point and damage a relationship.
    It is possible to be factually correct while being spiritually wrong.
    Many believers know how to correct people but do not know how to love people.
    Jesus was full of truth and grace.
    Many Christians have plenty of truth but very little grace.

    THE DRIVE TO BE RIGHT OFTEN PREVENTS US FROM HEARING GOD

    Acts 9:1-6 (ESV)
    Saul believed he was right.
    He was convinced he was serving God.
    He had Scripture.
    He had tradition.
    He had authority.
    He had confidence.
    Yet he was persecuting the very church God was building.
    Imagine if Saul had refused correction.
    Imagine if he had doubled down on his position.
    Imagine if he had argued with Jesus.
    Everything changed when Saul asked:
    “Who are you, Lord?”
    And then:
    “What shall I do, Lord?”
    The greatest breakthrough in his life happened the moment he stopped defending his position and started listening.
    Some people cannot hear God because they are too busy proving themselves.

    THE NEED TO BE RIGHT DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS

    James 1:19 (ESV)
    “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
    People who must always be right often struggle to listen.
    They listen only long enough to prepare their next response.
    They interrupt.
    They correct.
    They debate.
    They defend.
    They turn every conversation into a courtroom.
    But relationships are not built on winning.
    They are built on understanding.
    Ask yourself:
    How many arguments have I prolonged because I had to prove my point?
    How many people have stopped talking because they felt unheard?
    How many opportunities for peace have I sacrificed to win?
    A marriage cannot thrive when one person must always be right.
    A church cannot thrive when everyone must have the last word.
    A family cannot thrive when nobody is willing to admit they were wrong.
    Sometimes healing begins with two powerful words:
    “I was wrong.”

    JESUS SHOWED THE POWER OF HUMILITY

    Philippians 2:5-8 (ESV)
    Jesus was always right.
    Yet He did not insist on His rights.
    He did not demand recognition.
    He did not force people to acknowledge Him.
    He humbled Himself.
    The One who created the universe washed feet.
    The One who spoke galaxies into existence stood silent before His accusers.
    The One who could call twelve legions of angels chose a cross instead.
    If anyone had the right to prove Himself, it was Jesus.
    Yet humility became His pathway to exaltation.
    The Kingdom of God is not built upon proving yourself.
    It is built upon surrendering yourself.

    THE MARK OF SPIRITUAL MATURITY

    James 3:17 (ESV)
    “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason…”
    Notice that heavenly wisdom is:
    Peaceable
    Gentle
    Open to reason
    Some people think maturity means always having the answer.
    Biblical maturity means remaining teachable.
    A mature believer can say:
    “I was mistaken.”
    “I need correction.”
    “I hadn’t considered that.”
    “Help me understand.”
    The strongest people are not those who never admit they are wrong.
    The strongest people are those who are secure enough in Christ to admit it.

    APPLICATION

    Ask yourself these questions:

    1. Do I seek understanding or victory?

    Am I trying to learn or am I trying to win?

    2. How do I respond to correction?

    Do I become defensive?
    Do I explain away everything?
    Or do I honestly examine myself?

    3. Am I teachable?

    Can God use another person to challenge my thinking?
    Can God show me something I have missed?

    4. Do people feel heard around me?

    Do my spouse, children, friends, and church family feel safe expressing disagreement?
    Or do they avoid conversations because they know I must always be right?

    CLOSING INSIGHT

    One of the greatest hindrances to revival is not ignorance—it is pride.
    God can teach the uninformed.
    God can heal the broken.
    God can restore the fallen.
    But God resists the proud.
    There are believers today who know more Scripture than ever before, yet they have become less teachable than ever before.
    The Spirit is calling the Church back to humility.
    The next move of God will not belong to those who know the most.
    It will belong to those who remain teachable.
    The greatest words a believer can pray are not:
    “Lord, prove me right.”
    But:
    “Lord, show me where I am wrong.”
    That prayer opens the door to transformation.
    “The person who must always be right will eventually stand alone. But the person who remains humble will continue to grow because God can teach a heart that is willing to listen.” — Robert Young

      • Philippians 2:3–5KJV1900

      • Proverbs 13:10KJV1900

      • James 3:17KJV1900

Jubilee Community Church
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