Faith Baptist Church
06/21/26 Worship Service
Ephesians 4:31-32ESV
- Fill My Cup, Lord
- Channels Only
- God of Our Fathers
- O Church, Arise
- Blest Be The Tie That Binds
1 Chronicles 29:19ESV
- Authority! Example- weddingsSeeing that you have united yourselves together in marriage, and that you have done so before God and these witnesses, by the power (authority) vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.Where does that authority come from?Matthew 19:6 “6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.””This morning I want to talk about the idea of authority as it relates to fathers and their children.Ephesians- logical progression of Paul’s letter.Paul regularly moves from the theological to the practical.Paul begins with doctrine then moves to practice.Because this is true about you, do this.Chapter 2Ephesians 2:4–5 “4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—”We were spiritually dead, now we are alive! This new life is because of the great love of God and his mercy. God made us alive through His Son Jesus Christ. And we were saved by grace!Chapter 4Ephesians 4:1 “1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,”Ephesians 4:17 “17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.”Ephesians 5:1–2 “1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”Because we are alive in Christ through grace alone- that should make a difference to our walk (they way we live).Ephesians 5:8 “8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light”Ephesians 5:15 “15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,”How do we walk this way? We can’t do it in our own strength. We need the power of God through the Holy Spirit!Ephesians 5:18 “18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,”I believe the rest of Ephesians is a practical outworking of what it looks like to walk in the Spirit.How do believing wives live when they are empowered by the Holy Spirit? Believing husbands? Believing children?And finally our text for this morning believing fathers?How do Spirit filled fathers disciple their children?1. A father’s sphere of authority is both given and defined by the Lord
Ephesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Just as much as children have obligations directly given to them by the Lord, so too do Fathers.Καὶ οἱ πατέρες, μὴ παροργίζετε τὰ τέκνα ὑμῶν(And) Fathers, do not provoke (stir up) your children to anger,The conjunction in the Greek links the two major imperatives in this section.Ephesians 6:1–3 ESV 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”It is easy to think about children submitting themselves to their own parents. I often time teach my children that when they obey mom or dad who are they really obeying? And negatively, if they disobey mom and dad who are they disobeying? I attempt to help my children understand that their obedience must be to the Lord first and foremost.Children you have been given an obligation by the Lord himself to obey and honor your parents. You are under the sphere of the Lord’s authority.But, Paul is keen to point out to the fathers that it is not only the children, that is the subordinate ones, who have obligations. In the same way fathers, who are the heads or leaders of the homes, also have obligations put upon them by the Lord.How does Paul communicate this? A simple conjunction.Children obey and honor your parentsAND / in parallel with that ideaFathers here are your obligations that you are equally required to submit to.Fathers you have been granted by the Lord a realm of authority over the household. In God’s sovereign plan of creation He has appointed the father to be the head of the home. However, dads, your authority is not unlimited. Your authority is granted to you by the Lord and you must exercise your authority within the umbrella of the Lord’s obligations.In Paul’s day, fathers had absolute control over all of his family. In Roman culture this was called patria potestas.patria potestas, (Latin: “power of a father”), in Roman family law, power that the male head of a family exercised over his children and his more remote descendants in the male line, whatever their age, as well as over those brought into the family by adoption. This power meant originally not only that he had control over the persons of his children, amounting even to a right to inflict capital punishment, but that he alone had any rights in private law. Thus, acquisitions of a child became the property of the father. The father might allow a child (as he might a slave) certain property to treat as his own, but in the eye of the law it continued to belong to the father.Patria potestas ceased normally only with the death of the father; but the father might voluntarily free the child by emancipation, and a daughter ceased to be under the father’s potestas if upon her marriage she came under her husband’s manus (q.v.), a corresponding power of husband over wife.This absolute power of the father meant that he could imprison his son, scrouge, shame and punish him, sell him into slavery up to three times, or have him killed.Ephesians: An Exegetical Commentary (a) Negative: Do Not Provoke to Wrath (6:4a)The son’s position in the community was of no consequence; for instance, though he might be a magistrate, he was still under his father’s authority. The father had more power over his son than a master had over his slaves. It would be unfair, however, to suggest that there was no tender loving care within families in the Roman times. Nevertheless, in this milieu Paul writes instructions to the believing fathers in Ephesus
A wordly mindset, a pagan worldviewA biblical worldview- the father’s authority is both given and defined by the Lord. The father is under an obligation to the Lord to exercise his authority as the Lord permits. The father is not allowed to exercise authority that goes beyond the bounds of the authority given to him by the Lord.What are the God given boundaries of the father’s authority? How is the father to rightly exercise his authority over his children as given to him by the Lord?2. A father’s authority is limited in severity so that they do not provoke anger in their childrenEphesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Fathers, your authority over your children is limited by the Lord. You cannot exercise authority anyway you please. Instead the Lord negatively defines your obligations.You must not provoke your children to anger.Fathers are not to make it a practice to cause their children to become provoked or angry. Fathers are to be characterized by (not) stirring their children to anger.What is anger?The ancient Romans had a saying, Ira furor brevis est, “Anger is a brief madness.”Many ways to describe anger:Good and Angry by David PowlisonIrritability- this is anger on a hair trigger. Like walking around on a pile of egg shells trying not to crunch anything underfoot because the moment you do… look out.Arguing- is the disagreeable “he said, she said” of interpersonal friction. When you think of anger is quarreling your first association?Bitterness expresses how anger can last a long, long time. People recycle old hurts and nurse grievances and grudges. They never get over it.Violence expresses the sheer destructiveness of angry behavior. Anger attacks, hurts, destroys, and even kills, finding pleasure in inflicting pain.Passive anger hides behind surface appearances and even beneath conscious awareness.Self-righteous anger enjoys the empowering sense of grievance, of getting in touch with honest emotion and expressing it freely.But what exactly is anger?DNA of anger:1. I identify some perceived wrong.2. I take a stance of disapproval and feel displeasure.3. In some way I’m moved to action—to say or do something about it. (At minimum, there’s an implication of potential action.)Anger in our children happens when they identify some perceived wrong.What are some of the perceived wrongs that our children come up with?I didn’t get the biggest piece of cake.I found the toy in the closet first, so it’s mine. It’s not fair that my sibling is playing with it instead of me.This school subject is really hard and I don’t like it. That’s not right!Are all of the perceived wrongs that children come up with justifiable?Are all of the perceived wrongs that children come up with avoidable?I tell one of my sons that they have to eat the broccoli that I roasted in the air fryer with a little drizzle of olive oil, salt, and pepper.My son identifies that command as a perceived wrong.He takes a stance of disapproval and feels displeasure at the idea of eating said broccoli.He then proceeds to be moved to action- he argues with me, raises his voice, stomps out of the room, and slams his bedroom door.Have I provoked my son to anger?Did I violated my God given sphere of authority?Fathers (and mothers) you will regularly inspire anger in your children for reasons that are entirely justified, such as imposing vegetables into their diets.Paul is not prohibiting any actions that would make children angry.So what kind of actions is Paul prohibiting? What perceived wrongs might we unjustifiable inflict upon our kids?Over-policing your children.Acting like a tyrant or a dictator.Constant harshness.Playing favorites with certain of our children.Excessive criticism or correction with little praise or recognition of good behavior.Constant nagging and condemnation.Subjecting a child to humiliation.Excessive severe discipline.Gross insensitivity to a child’s needs.Manipulation.Exploitation.Crushing their spirits.Demeaning them.Making them frustrated because our children feel they can never please their fathers who constantly nag and belittle them.In Paul’s day children had little recourse for protection against mean-spirited parents. Paul’s command was meant to cause the father to check himself.This most likely would have surprised the average Jewish or roman father. They would have expected Paul to instruct the children not to anger their fathers through disobedience, instead Paul curbs the father’s authority by commanding the fathers “do not provoke your children to anger.”How is this possible dads? How do we prevent abusing our authority?We must be Spirit-filled!Ephesians 5:18 ESV 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,Galatians 5:16 ESV 16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.Galatians 5:19–20 ESV 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,Galatians 5:22–23 ESV 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.Fathers- what do your kids need from you? They need a man who is daily submitting himself to the influence and control of the power of the Spirit of God. There is no other power that will enable you to put to death the works of your flesh, and to grow in the character of Christ. And that is the only way we avoid provoking our children to anger!What are the God given boundaries of the father’s authority? How is the father to rightly exercise his authority?Paul not only negatively commands fathers, but he also positively shaped the father’s authority.3. A father’s authority is positively focused on training and instruction as prescribed by the LordThe father is under an obligation to the Lord to exercise his authority as the Lord permits. The father is not allowed to exercise authority that goes beyond the bounds of the authority given to him by the Lord.Negatively- that means the father’s authority must be gentle, not stirring up unnecessary wrath in their children. Positively- that means the father’s authority must have a specific focus. The God give focus of the father’s authority is training and instruction as prescribed by the Lord.Ephesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Ephesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Bring them up- to rear or to nurture v. — to look after and care for a child until it is an adult.This word only used 2x’s.Ephesians 5:29 “29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,”How are fathers to rear their children into adulthood?ἐν παιδείᾳ καὶνουθεσίᾳ κυρίου.*in sphere and influence of the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Ephesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Discipline- derives from the noun παῖς G4090 (gen. παιδός), “child.” Originally this word had to do with the training of children, including the process of education and development of culture.This word includes the ideals of education. It has the flavor of introducing the new generation, through example and imitation, to moral and legal traditions.Thus we could translate this word generally as training or education.Acts 7:22 ESV 22 And Moses was instructed in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and he was mighty in his words and deeds.Acts 22:3 ESV 3 “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus in Cilicia, but brought up in this city, educated at the feet of Gamaliel according to the strict manner of the law of our fathers, being zealous for God as all of you are this day.2 Timothy 3:16 ESV 16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,Titus 2:12 ESV 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,This word-group also has the nuance of discipline or chastisement.1 Corinthians 11:32 ESV 32 But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.Hebrews 12:5 ESV 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.Hebrews 12:7 ESV 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?Hebrews 12:8 ESV 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.Hebrews 12:11 ESV 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.Not only are fathers to be concerned about training or education including discipline, but they must also be concerned about instruction.Ephesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Instruction- to provide instruction as to correct behavior and belief. It is the idea of providing counsel, admonition, or correction.It is used 3x’s in the NT.1 Corinthians 10:11 ESV 11 Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.Titus 3:10 ESV 10 As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him,Some translations of Eph 6:4- instead of instruction used the word admonition.Ephesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.Several think that the word discipline is the idea education emphasizing activity and discipline.I think this words conveys the relational side of the father’s authority!Educating your child involves more that verbal communication. It requires life on life activity. Your kids need to see Spirit-filled fathers in action just as much as they need to hear the verbal instruction of the Lord.The second word (instruction) νουθεσία is education, emphasizing the verbal aspect, whether it be encouragement or reproof.Our kids need both!Essentially the authority of the fathers is directed toward providing our children with a biblical worldview.icebergThe authority of fathers is positively shaped by the Lord. Dads- you are to intimately involved in rearing your children in the training and instruction of the Lord.Not just training and instruction- but the training and instruction of the Lord. Our instruction must be truly Christian instruction.Dads we must be concerned about not just the visible behaviors we can see above the service, but also the hidden things under the surface.Dads- are you shaping the values, beliefs, and worldviews of your children?Raising Spiritual Champions- George BarnaA person’s worldview is a combination of trial-and-error decisions (i.e., lessons based on experiences), reason-based choices, emotional preferences, and beliefs based on trust.For millions of young children, their parents are trusted advisers. However, one of the more intriguing outcomes from my recent research is that surprisingly few children these days accept worldview teaching from their parents without question. The reason is that when an authority figure, such as a mother or father, offers a life principle to their child, the youngster then considers whether their parent follows their own advice.The research noted that because parents sometimes teach one thing but live another, their child is likely to conclude that their parent is just as confused and searching as they are. They remain open to trying out the practical suggestions and worldview principles provided by their parents, but due to the inconsistency between talk and walk, children are prone to perceiving parental advice to be an option to consider rather than truth to accept.Fathers you must give your child instruction- this is the verbal information as prescribed by the Lord.How?Faith based education (not required, but parents must be proactive in the general education of their children)Personally be responsible for their discipleship (foundations for kids; discipleship bookshelf)Not meant to be done in a vacuum-Utilize the local church!Kids ministry for instructionSunday schoolWednesday night Kid’s4TruthFamily serviceSmall group fellowshipsJunior churchFathers you must give your child training- this is relationship based, my life to your life as prescribed by the Lord.Fathers you must be someone your kids can imitate. Follow me as I follow Christ.How?The research noted that because parents sometimes teach one thing but live another, their child is likely to conclude that their parent is just as confused and searching as they are.Success on Earth is best understood as consistent obedience to God—in thoughts, words, and actions. (Cornerstone #7) BaranThis must be taught to our kids, but it also must be demonstrated.Biblical example: SolomonProverbs 1:8 ESV 8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching,Proverbs 2:1 ESV 1 My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,Proverbs 3:1 ESV 1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments,Yet what was Solomon’s example?1 Kings 11:1 ESV 1 Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women,1 Kings 11:3 ESV 3 He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart.1 Kings 11:4 ESV 4 For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.How did this trickle down to Solomon’s sons? Jeroboam!because parents sometimes teach one thing but live another, their child is likely to conclude that their parent is just as confused and searching as they are.Example: The priority of sports in American culture.Example: The priority of bible reading and prayer in the life of a parent. Do your kids see this? How often do you challenge or encourage them to engage in these spiritual disciplines?Concerns:What if I have already failed at this?Never too late to do right.Is it my fault if my children do not follow the Lord?What if I don’t have children? a father?Mark 10:29–30 “29 Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, 30 who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.”In whatever way you can, dads- be obedience to the Lord’s instructionEphesians 6:4 ESV 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.The Lord wants believing fathers to train and instruct their children in the ways prescribed by the Lord in the power of the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 6:4ESV
Ephesians 6:1–3ESV
Ephesians 6:4ESV
Ephesians 5:18ESV
Galatians 5:16ESV
Galatians 5:19–20ESV
Galatians 5:22–23ESV
Ephesians 6:4ESV
Ephesians 6:4ESV
Ephesians 6:4ESV
Acts 7:22ESV
Acts 22:3ESV
2 Timothy 3:16ESV
Titus 2:12ESV
1 Corinthians 11:32ESV
Hebrews 12:5ESV
Hebrews 12:7ESV
Hebrews 12:8ESV
Hebrews 12:11ESV
Ephesians 6:4ESV
1 Corinthians 10:11ESV
Titus 3:10ESV
Ephesians 6:4ESV
Proverbs 1:8ESV
Proverbs 2:1ESV
Proverbs 3:1ESV
1 Kings 11:1ESV
1 Kings 11:3ESV
1 Kings 11:4ESV
Ephesians 6:4ESV
- Be An Example
