Bowman Community Church
2025-02-16
  • Hosanna
  • before the throne of god above
  • Be Thou My Vision
  • This Is My Father's World
  • Holy Holy Holy

      • Matthew 10:16–33ESV

  • Text

    O, Give Us Homes Built Firm Upon the Savior
    Ephesians 4:32–5:2 ESV
    32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

    Prayer

    Heavenly Father, we thank you for your kindness to us this morning. With one voice, we have enjoyed the privilege of singing your praises as your saints, simul justus et peccator — “at the same time just and sinner.” Lord, with one voice we say “Hallelujah” and praise you as Redeemer and Lord. We ask that your Spirit would pour out all wisdom and insight this morning as we turn to your word, a lamp and light to our feet. We ask that you would give us homes built firm upon the Savior, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forevermore: Amen.

    Sermon

    Our Assembled Dwelling Places

    We are continuing with our series on the Fifth Commandment, which is to honor our parents. In the first two sermons, we saw at length how the principle of a child’s submission to their parents is a principle that is not confined to just the child-parent relationship. In fact, it applies to all of life.
    The command to honor our parents is a command to honor God’s established order.
    The same parts of us that are involved in submitting to our parents are the same ones in submitting to all of the proper authorities in all of life.
    In the biblical household, the children are to be taught to understand that their parents are stand-in’s for God.
    He crafts the parents for the child, and the children for the parent. Families are not accidents—they are assemblies, put together by God.
    Likewise, where these families live in God’s world is also by his design. He plants humanity across the earth according to his will — by his design.
    He designs and assembles families, communities, and nations.
    Acts 17:26 ESV
    26 And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place,
    God has built human society on three strong pillars: families, churches, and nations. And within these, He's given us leaders, people of authority – fathers in our families, elders in our churches, and rulers in our communities and nations. Now, here's the key: God puts them there. He's the one who assembles these groups and chooses these leaders. And they're all accountable to Him.
    This is God's blueprint for how things should be. These three pillars—families, churches, and nations—are meant to recognize a simple, fundamental truth: God "himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything" (Acts 17:27).
    So, all of human society, with all its leaders, is ordained by God and answerable to Him. That means the Fifth Commandment – honoring your parents – isn't an isolated rule. It's connected to the very First Commandment: "You shall have no other gods before me." The fifth is an expression of the first.
    He's saying, "I am your God, there are no others before me." "Your heart, soul, mind, and strength are mine." The same God who loves us, the same God who saves us, is the same God who places us in a world where we're called to respect authority. So, to put it simply: when we submit to rightful authority, we are actually submitting to God.
    Now, in the fifth commandment, the father and mother visualize proper authority.
    Let’s ask: why parents? Why not elders or rulers?
    We could answer that with another question, “Why doesn’t the sixth commandment (not to murder) also include assault?”
    It should be obvious: it’s implied. The principle is to “not unlawfully harm another person”—the most basic expression of that being, don’t murder them.
    You’re sensing my point. The most basic expression of submission to authority is that of a child submitting to their parents, honoring them. All the other proper authorities in life are implied.

    Shorts Accounts & Abundant Forgiveness

    And this basic expression of the home is where we are headed.
    I’ve titled the sermon, “O, Give Us Homes Built Firm Upon the Savior,” because it summarizes what our desire should be. We should want homes that obey God because they have obeyed Christ.
    And the part of this picture that I pray is made clearer to us is that of our homes being places of repentance and forgiveness.
    Homes built firm upon the Savior will be homes that are filled with short accounts and abundant forgiveness.
    Homes that forgive sin as Christ does have learned the words of his:
    Matthew 9:13 ESV
    13 Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
    Obedient homes are repenting homes, and they are forgiving homes.
    Let me explain what I mean.

    Unconfessed Sin & Unreceived Forgiveness

    Ephesians 4:32 ESV
    32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
    In this part of Ephesians, Paul has moved from the indicative (what is true) to the imperative (what we ought to do about it). He is describing what the Christian's new life should look like.
    Verse 32 is the last verse of this chapter:
    “Be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving to one another.”
    You might wonder what this has to do with submission or the fifth commandment.
    My main point today is that, if honor and obedience in the home were fruit, then repentance and forgiveness are fertilizers.
    Nothing erodes obedience like unconfessed sin and unreceived forgiveness. An example..
    A boy breaks his Dad’s stuff on accident. Dad is harsh and unforgiving, and makes his displeasure known continually. How will this son be shaped over time, if things don’t change? He will grow angry and more disobedient. He needs discipline, yes, but he needs instruction in repentance and forgiveness more.
    Ephesians 6:4 ESV
    4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
    A girl develops a habit of lying to her mother. The Mom doesn’t think this is a big deal, because she’s cuter than the boy and doesn’t break things. How will this daughter be shaped over time, if things don’t change? Her disobedience will multiply, and so will her foolishness. She needs discipline, so she sees the evil in lying, the wisdom in truth-telling, and doesn’t grow to loathe herself due to unconfessed and unforgiven lying.
    Proverbs 22:15 ESV
    15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
    Now pause for a moment and look to your own walks with your Heavenly Father.
    How has unconfessed and unrepentant sin robbed you of a clear conscience?
    How deprived is your soul of the cleansing water of the mercy of Christ?
    Do you believe the words:
    1 John 1:9 ESV
    9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
    Do you remember God’s great words of comfort:
    Isaiah 1:18 ESV
    18 “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.
    Have you done as Jesus commanded, and learned what the words, “I desire mercy and not sacrifice” means?
    The kindness of God is meant to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4), that we would turn from our sin.
    The truly staggering thought is that God desires closeness with us at all. We, who are as unworthy as Judas, have been forgiven by God.
    This is the stunning fact of the Gospel: Christ takes the sins of his people upon himself.
    Selah
    If we have received such radical forgiveness, then, God help us, how could we not joyfully give it others?

    Repentance as Fertilizer

    We struggle to forgive because we struggle to repent.
    Selah
    Have you noticed what has happened to the modern-day apology? Instead of confessing wrongdoing, people often say, ‘I’m sorry if I offended you,’ which shifts blame rather than owning sin. Worse yet, the response is usually, ‘It’s fine,’ rather than granting true forgiveness.
    But Scripture calls us to a different standard. Jesus said, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice’ (Matt. 9:13). True repentance says, ‘I have sinned against you, will you forgive me?’ And true forgiveness responds, ‘I forgive you.’
    When we replace real confession and forgiveness with vague apologies, bitterness festers. This is especially dangerous in the home. Parents, train your children to both seek and extend real forgiveness. Don’t let ‘It’s fine’ replace ‘I forgive you.’
    If we, as believers, have been forgiven much by Christ, how can we withhold such grace from others?
    —
    We struggle to forgive because we struggle to repent (of bitterness).
    Saying ‘I forgive you’ means there’s no lingering resentment. But too often, in family life, forgiveness is withheld. A child apologizes, and the parent responds, ‘It’s fine, just don’t do it again.’ A wife seeks forgiveness, and her husband says the same. But ‘It’s fine’ often means, ‘I don’t forgive you, but let’s move on.’
    What restores fellowship and encourages obedience? True forgiveness. A moment of prayer and the words, ‘I forgive you,’ spoken from the heart, can heal wounds and set things right.

    Forgiveness as Fertilizer

    Isn’t this what happened to you when you came spirit-to-spirit with Jesus Christ?
    Did your disobedience and rebelliousness not melt away when you felt God’s forgiveness?
    Look at your life, for as long as you’ve lived it, and gather up all the times you were running from God. Where was forgiveness in your thinking? Were you confessing your sin to God from a believing heart? It probably wasn’t.
    I know, in my own life, there were times I was not. Even as Christians, the longer we persist in unrepentant sin, the less we are inclined to confess. And as we continue to sin without confession, we accumulate that heavy burden of guilt and self-loathing, a weight that only breeds more sin—more darkness.
    Before we even realize it, we find ourselves stranded in a spiritual desert, parched and bewildered, wondering, how did I get here? How did we get here?
    Don't we long to drink from the well again?
    We become so weary of disobedience, of the ways it leaves us spiritually parched, empty. We thirst for closeness to God, for the intimacy we once knew.
    Psalm 42:4 ESV
    4 These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
    But remember this, Bowman: God never left you. He didn’t go anywhere. His Spirit dwells within you, and yours is united with Him. He is present, especially in the desert.
    We need to go to the fountain of living water, to the only One who can truly satisfy.
    We, in all our mess, are still “in Christ, with God.” The path to him is clear.
    Hebrews 4:16 ESV
    16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
    Every Sunday, our congregational prayer includes both of these things: we confess our sin together, and receive assurance of pardon. We did this today. I would encourage to never let those parts of our praying together slip by you. Take hold of them.
    As these two sobering but beautiful blessing of repentance and forgiveness are exercised in the Christian life, obedience is sure to follow. They are fertilizer for the fruit.
    Ephesians 4:32 “32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
    Selah

    As Beloved Children

    Ephesians 5:1 ESV
    1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.
    There is a very real sense in which we are all, parent or child, children of God. He created us, he redeemed us in Christ, and rules over us with perfect love and power. We are his children.
    Children obey their parents. Christians obey their Christ.
    But here is the word “imitate,” to mimic. And the commands of 5:1 and 2 are bundled just like 4:32.
    We’re to love others, as God does—as his beloved children ought to do—because we have been loved by Christ.
    Children ought to want to be like their parents. And parents ought to desire to model Christ to their kids.
    A father imitates God when he forgives his son for breaking things, and loves him by disciplining him so that he won’t do it again—for his good.
    A mother imitates God when she forgives her daughter for lying, and loves her by disciplining her so that she won’t do it again—all for her good.
    A man imitates God when he rules his family with grace and truth. When he cultivates a center that isn’t rocked by his emotions or others because it is rooted in Christ, he will be able to gladly extend grace, and see truth clearly.
    A woman imitates God when she respects and obeys her husband and nurtures her children. Christ, submitted to the will of the Father, poured his life out unto death for those he loved. When she sees her ministry in such terms, her kingdom potential will be greatly enlarged.
    These are only a few ways that we, all, in our different relations, might imitate God as beloved children.
    It is because of his love that we love others.
    1 John 4:10–11 ESV
    10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
    1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV
    7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
    And the final verse of our text.
    Ephesians 5:2 ESV
    2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

    A Fragrant Offering

    The other night, I was sitting on the couch after a long day. Felicity had just gone to bed, and Jameson was on his way. But Jameson has been a much harder baby. He’s just so needy. Every minute, essentially, he needs Mom or its top gear screaming.
    As you all know, this significantly handicaps daily life, doesn’t it? Hannah can’t do the things she once could with only one child. She is 24/7 on call and she gets called in every 10 minutes.
    Over time, this has stripped her of the creature comforts she once had with only one child. Many mothers, here, can say with nodded head, “Amen and amen.”
    That night, we were sitting on the couch and I asked, “are you alright?”
    Jameson was in her lap, he looked up and smiled.
    Hannah looked over to me, and with tears in her eyes but a smile as well, she said, “This is what dying is.”
    —
    You know what she’s referring to. “Dying to self.” Dying to what we would prefer and what we think is reasonable, for the sake of those we love. For the sake of others.
    I see in Hannah the same strength and grace that God gives uniquely to mothers: the ability to nurture children who strip you of all your prior comforts.
    I see in Hannah her sacrifice, and it was a “fragrant offering.”
    I’m proud to be her husband, but more importantly, she is honoring and glorifying her Lord. She, and I pray all the mothers here, knows that this God-honoring self-denial is a fragrant offering to him. He delights in it. He blesses it.
    —
    This church is filled with parents, children, spouses, singles, widows, and widowers, who all have a fragrant offering to give their Lord.
    Each of you is the recipient of this command, to walk in love, as Christ has loved you.
    And it is a command, for we are expected to obey it as beloved children.
    But remember, the paradox of submission is that it’s a blessing, not a curse.
    The fifth commandment says, “honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land.” God blesses obedience.
    Men, consider the strength and grace of Christ. How can you be strong for and forgive others?
    Women, consider the tenderness and purity of Christ. How can you be gentle with and respect others?
    Children, consider the obedience of Christ. He made your parents for you, and calls you to obey. If he obeyed unto death, can you not obey unto discomfort?
    A home built firm upon the Savior is one where honor, obedience, repentance, and forgiveness are woven into daily life. When we submit to God’s authority in the family, church, and society, we reflect His divine order and experience the blessing of His design. True submission is not burdensome but life-giving, leading to peace, restoration, and joy in our relationships. As beloved children of God, we are called to imitate Him—fathers leading with grace and truth, mothers nurturing with sacrificial love, and children learning obedience as an act of worship. May our homes be fragrant offerings, filled with short accounts and abundant forgiveness, testifying to the grace we have received in Christ.

      • Ephesians 4:32–5:2ESV

      • Acts 17:26ESV

      • Matthew 9:13ESV

      • Ephesians 4:32ESV

      • Ephesians 6:4ESV

      • Proverbs 22:15ESV

      • 1 John 1:9ESV

      • Isaiah 1:18ESV

      • Psalm 42:4ESV

      • Hebrews 4:16ESV

      • Ephesians 5:1ESV

      • 1 John 4:10–11ESV

      • 1 Corinthians 13:7ESV

      • Ephesians 5:2ESV

  • The Steadfast Love
Bowman Community Church
mclugg@gmail.com
5303476130
http://www.bowmanchurch.org
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