FHCC
20251005 Worship

                • Psalm 105:4ESV

                • Isaiah 55:6ESV

              • Reason I Sing
              • Holy Forever
                              • His Mercy Is More

                                      • Proverbs 5NKJV

                                    • Introduction

                                      I appreciate music of many styles. I like Jazz, Rock Ballads, Baroque period classical, Marches, Choral, New Age, CCM and Traditional American Hymns. I even somewhat appreciate country western unless it has a fiddle AND steel guitar that gets a little twangy. However, I don’t appreciate music that I can’t understand what the artist is trying to say. If the pronunciation is not right or the slang is something I don’t understand, I have little patience.
                                      I’m thinking this morning of two songs from 2 different genres that are on the borderline of my musical taste, however the lyrics DO have a message that undergirds today’s chapter. While she needed to put on more clothes before recording the music video, and I don’t support the whole club scene she sings about, one line of Beyonce’s Single Ladies supports what Solomon is saying to his son and to us.
                                      She sings “if you like it you shoulda put a ring on it.” I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and claim the “it” is the whole package of having a relationship with a particular person.
                                      I would further clarify that “the ring” is not a class ring, a promise ring, or an engagement ring. The wedding ring is the symbol of lifelong exclusive covenant that Solomon wants for his son.
                                      If you like being in relationship with a person, seal it with a lifelong exclusive covenant!
                                      The second song I have in mind is from a different generation and a different genre, but it comes from the same setting of a night club. In 1980 a movie about a Cowboy Honky Tonk was released called The Urban Cowboy. The soundtrack for that movie contained a song by Johnny Lee called Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.
                                      Beyonce’s song reveals that temporary relationships are unfulfilling and Lee’s song teaches that relationships need to be built on the proper foundation. So if modern music tells us what NOT to do, let’s look for advice on the RIGHT way to find companionship.
                                      TRANSITION: Join me in Proverbs 5 as we see the types of relationship to avoid and the type that is to be honored and sought.

                                      Abstain from Forbidden fruit (Proverbs 5:1-6)

                                      The Forbidden woman

                                      We were introduced to this “forbidden woman” back in Pr 2.16. She is dangerous
                                      Her deceptive, seductive words are persuasive, sweet like honey, the sweetest substance in ancient Israel, and smoother than (cf. 6:24; 7:21) olive oil, the smoothest substance in ancient Israel.
                                      Have you ever been Gabriel?
                                      play https://youtu.be/_l8m7IvqDX8?si=pjhhyEKX_xxjS3nQ
                                      This isn’t just a 2 year old weakness. About 10 years ago the internet carried videos of people who tried to eat 1 tablespoon of ground cinnamon and keep it down for 60 seconds without drinking any water. Wikipedia warns of the dangers of this challenge - “The challenge is difficult and carries substantial health risks because the cinnamon can coat and dry the mouth and throat, possibly resulting in coughing, gagging, vomiting, and inhalation of cinnamon, which can in turn lead to throat irritation, breathing difficulties, and risk of pneumonia or a collapsed lung.” Yet, There are literally hundreds of thousands of videos of people of all ages accepting the challenge.
                                      But Solomon warns of an enticement that is not only 10 years old, it has been capturing individuals since before Noah’s flood. And her danger is more than irritation or even a collapsed lung. what does Pr 5.5 say?
                                      Proverbs 5:5 ESV:2016
                                      Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol;
                                      It wasn’t long ago that a camera at a rock concert caught a couple who thought they could play with this temptress and get away with it, 5 seconds on a screen totally ruined 2 marriages and 2 careers, and the devastation is not over as it will impact kids in those families for decades to come.

                                      The Forbidden Fruit

                                      Even a man after God’s own heart fell to this temptation with a woman named Bathsheba. But sometimes it is a woman who is forbidden, other times it is some other temptation that must be avoided. Eve wanted to taste a fruit that God had prohibited, she believed the lie that it would lead to enlightenment and she would be like a goddess.
                                      Warning labels and “wet paint” signs abound because humanity refuses to abstain from forbidden fruit.
                                      TRANSITION: Solomon warns to avoid the forbidden, because even if you think you can dabble safely, you are building in a floodplain!

                                      Avoid the slippery Floodplain (Proverbs 5:7-14)

                                      The price of infidelity

                                      what seems attractive at first becomes bitter and sharp later. Involvement in adultery is like tasting gall, the bitterest substance known (from a plant), or like being cut by a double-edged sword. (see Pr 5.4)
                                      Pr 5.9 - reputation is hard to rebuild
                                      Pr 5.9b - a lost reputation can follow you into later years by merciless gossips
                                      Pr 6.26 speaks of the loss of finances from paying the prostitute or arranging hidden rendezvous
                                      Pr 5.11 indicates that sometimes health is sacrificed through viruses or infections that used to be called STDs

                                      The remorse of regret (Pr 5.12-14)

                                      By the time you realize there may be a problem, the damage is already done.
                                      Just as Gabriel’s mother tried to warn him that the cocoa would not be pleasant, Solomon warns in Pr 5.1-2, what the disobedient son would realize in Pr 5.12-14.
                                      Let me make this crystal clear. And you may think I’m being extreme, but I have never seen an exception to this principle: Extra-marital physical intimacy will always prolong a bad relationship or ruin a good one. I don’t have a chapter and verse for this so I am NOT claiming Biblical authority, but my 6 decades of life experience and 4 decades of pastoral counseling have yet to find a person who regrets waiting to consummate the marriage vows. We are all familiar of battered-woman syndrome that robs a victim of the strength to leave a bad situation or Stockholm syndrome that perverts the perspective of a victim for his or her captor.
                                      TRANSITION: the sweet and smooth promise of the forbidden women end on the path to death. But intimacy done according to God’s plan is lovely.

                                      Advance the Sweet Flow of Intimacy (Proverbs 5:15-23)

                                      If the sweet & smooth is actually bitter and painful, Pr 5.15 promised that the challenge of protecting one’s intimacy produces a flowing fountain of pleasure.

                                      The delight of innocent intimacy

                                      The deceit of romance novels and pornography communicate a lie that experience is a benefit to marital intimacy.
                                      I have come to conclude that shared innocence is 10x as valuable and sinful experience. Nothing is more exciting that two innocent lovers discovering together what the other likes and dislikes. The lie of multiple partners brings shame and guilt into what should be innocent and fresh. Your marital partner is under NO OBLIGATION to respond to things you may have experienced with others or observed in media.
                                      What somebody else does or doesn’t do is none of your concern. Notice with me that EVERY verse from Pr 5.15-20 includes the word you or your.

                                      Why is Proverbs 5:16-17 Plural?

                                      Some commentators think the plural streams refers to the many needs that are met in marital intimacy - physical, sexual, emotional, financial, intellectual. I think this is the preferred understanding of these verses - a man should have all his needs met by his own wife, not someone else’s.
                                      But a second understanding that does have a practical application is that if the streams refers to children of the home.

                                      Conclusion:

                                      I named this message Bitter Honey & Sweet Water because some experiences that we convince ourselves will be enjoyable actually end in painful bitterness. Likewise, every rancher knows that fresh water must be protected. We don’t have to look far into history or world geography to find death and disease that happens when a water source gets polluted.
                                      I tell you based upon Biblical authority that illicit relationships that promise the sweetness of honey will lead to bitter ends. When God provides a source of relational love for you, protect and preserve the sacred nature of that covenant.
                                      Look for love in godly places, and when you find him or her; put an exclusive, permanent ring on that love.

                                      Light & Lamp Application:

                                      Light for my Path
                                      Jesus satisfies all the deepest desires of the soul better than any imposter.
                                      Lamps for my Steps
                                      Head - make a list of 3 qualities from Scripture that make for a lasting godly marriage.
                                      Hands - What can you do this week to demonstrate 1 of those “head” qualities to your spouse; AND what can you do this week to aid your child in developing one of those 3?
                                      Heart - Think ahead to your child’s wedding or your own funeral. Consider how your current view of marriage will look at that event.
                                      Will somebody else (a step parent) get the first dance?
                                      Who will be on the front row of your mourners?
                                      Buzzell, Sid S. 1985. “Proverbs.” In The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, edited by J. F. Walvoord and R. B. Zuck, 1:914–15. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.
                                      Ibid., 1:915.

                                        • Proverbs 5:5NKJV

                                          • A Christian Home

                                              • Ephesians 6:23–24ESV

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