Bulletins - A Place Of Grace

Let me begin AGAIN where Paul began in verse 21 with a command that applies to every believer: “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
That means the tone of this entire passage (from husbands and wives, parents and children, slaves and masters) is not domination. It is humility.
Submission in Scripture is not first about hierarchy. It is about Christlikeness.
In Verse 22 the NLT states: “for wives this means...” & we looked at that last week
The NLT states in Verse 25: “for husbands this means...” & that is what we will look at today!
Paul is describing what happens when believers are filled with the Spirit.
A Spirit-filled believer becomes increasingly:
humble… teachable… servant-hearted… others-centered
Submission, biblically understood, is not about inferiority. It is about willingly placing yourself under God’s order out of reverence for Christ.
We affirm these following two truths simultaneously: [slide]
Men & women are equal in… dignity, worth, and spiritual standing
Men & women also have distinct God-ordained roles within the home and church
There is a Biblical Order:
God The Father
God the Son (Jesus the Christ)
Husband
Wife
Ephesians 5:21-33 gives husbands a calling that must be acknowledged. In this calling we SUBMIT ourselves to the ORDER which God has established in His Word…
Ephesians 5:21–33 NLT
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Your Calling
Merriam-Webster defines “CALLING”: as a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence
Scripture repeatedly commands husbands to love their wives, and this directive functions as a fundamental calling rooted in God’s design for manhood itself.
Biblical masculinity encompasses the attitudes and character traits expected to develop in a male whose role involves serving as loving leader, spiritual nurturer, protector, and provider
All husbands are called to a particular task, with their wives called to aid and support them in that calling
The calling to love one’s wife operates at two levels.
First, it’s a personal calling—loving your wife as your own body is not passive but active and intentional, requiring you to show up physically, emotionally, and spiritually3. A man is called to care for his wife in the exact same way that he takes care of himself3.
Second, it’s a redemptive calling—the standard for how much a husband should love his wife is set immeasurably high: “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”.
A husband imitates what Jesus models
The way Jesus loves is radical, having sacrificed His life and given extravagantly (lavished)
NOTE THIS: Doing what you are supposed to do has a redemptive effect on your spouse.
This “calling” isn’t optional or conditional; God commands men to love their wives, and this is not suggested but commanded, and importantly, it’s not conditional… and men we need help with this!!!
Lead Through Christ
Psalm 30:10 “Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me. Help me, O Lord.””
Psalm 54:4 “But God is my helper. The Lord keeps me alive!”
GOD IS OUR HELPER!!! …Now look at what Jesus declared…
John 14:16 “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever;
John 14:26 “the Helper, the Holy Spirit, who the Father will send in My name”
John 16:7 “But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you.”
Men we were given strength, power, assistance because of our HELPER, God Himself, and the very Spirit of God, through Jesus Christ!…
As the leaders, we lead with His HELP
If He is our HELPER, our relationship, our walk with Him must be close
When it comes to marriage, look what God says…
Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
“HELPER” : In Hebrew it is [ezer] in the Greek it is [parakletos] … (a helper, advocate, one called to assist, give aid)
A designation God gives to Himself / how the Holy Spirit is described
A designation God gave to the woman (WIFE) when He brought her to the man (HUSBAND) when God created and defined marriage!
This designation is one of power, strength, and comfort!
Our Support, strength and assistance in this comes from a two-fold Relationship...with Christ and your wife (helpers)
These two principles—husband as leader and wife as helper—interlock as complementary expressions of Christlike service rather than as competing power dynamics.
The relationship functions when both partners understand their roles not as hierarchical privilege but as mutual accountability to Christ’s example.
This leadership isn’t about decision-making authority divorced from care
In leading, the husband serves as facilitator, caregiver, protector, and lover—but never as dictator
His sacrificial leadership means prioritizing his wife’s needs above his own, nourishing her spiritual growth and enabling her to reach her full potential
The wife’s helper role complements this:
As helper, she responds to her husband’s loving leadership, with “helper” affirming her important contribution as his complement—to encourage, augment, and complete
By subordinating herself to her husband, the wife renders service to the Lord as she follows his lead and responds to his leadership & love, making it an aspect of her obedience to Christ
When both partners grasp that their distinct roles serve the same end: (it is powerful!)
Building each other toward spiritual maturity.
“Love and respect” characterizing the roles of both husbands and wives
Church… if these are present, then authority, headship, love, and submission will be no problem for either partner. The husband leads by serving; the wife helps by choosing to align with that leadership—neither diminishing the other, but both reflecting Christ’s self-giving nature.
There is a RELATIONSHIP that needs to be present with our HELPER Jesus Christ in order for us to LEAD the one God has designated as the Husband’s Help-Mate!
As husbands leading as Christ and through our relationship with Him, let’s consider a term that is used extensively in this passage… “LOVE”
Love Like Christ
The word “love” has been abused and distorted in our world and culture today. (love a steak & love my wife)
There are four primary Greek words to express love: eros, stergo, phileo, and agape, each conveying distinct emotional and relational dimensions:
Eros represents sexual or passionate desire… it denotes a sexual demand rather than a giving love—one that pursues its own fulfillment rather than another’s pleasure.
Interestingly this word never appears in the New Testament, even in discussions of marital sexuality
Stergo captures familial affection. This word primarily depicts the love between parents and children or among family members,… its essential meaning centers on devotion.
Phileo expresses friendship and affection. … it describes the affection ... referring to brotherly love, most often displayed in close friendship where best friends exhibit generous and affectionate care for each other’s happiness.
Agape stands as the highest form of love. Agape represents the most powerful and noblest type of love—sacrificial love that transcends mere feeling and becomes an act of will. God commands agape love toward everyone, including enemies and those who oppose faith.
Agapē and agapao are not two different types of love—they’re grammatically related forms of the same concept to express Christian love, where agapao is the verb (the action of loving) and agape is the noun (love itself as a quality or nature of that love)
What makes these two words so distinctive in Scripture is its theological weight.
The rich concept of love as revealed in Christ’s teaching and cross, giving the word (Agapē love) its distinctive Christian significance and meaning
Agapē encompasses the mind, emotions, and will of the individual because it comes from God
For the husband our standard and example of “Agapē Love” is no less that God in the flesh… Christ Jesus who is the Head of His church as Husbands are the Head of the wife!
Living Out Headship
The biblical ideal is “loving, humble headship,” where authority serves intimacy rather than control. When a husband prioritizes his wife’s flourishing through intentional sacrifice and thoughtful care, his headship becomes the vehicle through which agape love operates—transforming authority into a beautiful gift.
Headship is not a right to command and control but a responsibility to love like Christ—to lay down your life for your wife in servant leadership
Biblical Headship demands of us as Husbands to become a man worth following!
NOT Control — but Sacrifice
Rather than exercising power for personal benefit, as husbands we practice agape love
We direct our thinking toward our wife’s wellbeing
Considering her NEEDS and meeting them
What she needs to feel secure, loved, and complete (as Christ does for His church)
NOT Dominance — but Service
Biblical headship demonstrates agape love through sacrificial service away from self-interest only
A ministry to your wife... anchored in Christ’s love for the church.
NOT Entitlement — but Responsibility
This is not passive or conditional;
It is deliberate thinking and decision-making, not in feelings or responses.
The connection between headship and agape becomes clear when examining Christ’s model of leadership. Jesus introduced a revolutionary concept of authority in which leaders serve rather than dominate.
Mark 10:42–44 “So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else.”
Mark 10:42–44 NLT
So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else.
CAUTION: Headship without agape becomes tyranny. Love prevents harshness and bitterness in the relationship; it is the opposite of malice and the antidote to anger.
As husbands we bear the responsibility to demonstrate Christ’s headship with the church regardless of:
Our wife’s actions or attitude, choosing to love her sacrificially even when she is unlovely
Leading with agape love and living out biblical headship brings with it more responsibility with it rather than rights…
Learning Responsibility vs Rights
Biblical headship assigns the husband primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership in the home, and this responsibility extends fundamentally to spiritual matters…
Providing spiritual nourishment requires that a man pursue God deeply, growing in knowledge and love of Him, so that he naturally draws his wife and children toward spiritual food.
This isn’t optional leadership—it’s the core of what headship means.
A husband takes the lead in establishing the spiritual rhythm of the home.
He ensures the family prays, reads Scripture, attends church, discusses moral and spiritual issues,
He models these practices through his own example.
CAUTION HERE: headship means taking primary responsibility—not sole responsibility—and what wives rightly desire is spiritual and moral initiative from their husbands… work together and LEAD!
This spiritual leadership flows from our own relationship with Christ as husbands!
Our primary responsibility for initiative and leadership comes from taking our cues from Christ
BTW… the husband is not Christ; however, he should encourage his wife and children to give allegiance to Christ and depend on Him
HERE IS A DANGER: many husbands abdicate this responsibility entirely (to the church or wife or someone else), remaining passive while the family suffers spiritually, church engagement is optional, discipline deteriorates, and conflicts go unaddressed… and the marriage and family suffer!
Spiritual leadership succeeds when: the husband is grounded in sacrificial love and genuine pursuit of God’s Word and relationship with Christ within the home.
Applied Actions
Men, Paul does not call us to rule our homes. He calls us to die in them. Not physically… but daily.
To die to selfishness
To pride
To passivity
To anger
To emotional distance
To spiritual laziness
The calling of a husband is not to sit at the center of the home demanding to be served.
The calling of a husband is to stand at the center of the home and serve like Christ.
Our model is NOT…culture… social media… or what our fathers did or failed to do. Our Model is Christ!!!
Let Me Pose Some Questions for Us As Husbands:
Does your wife flourish under your leadership?
Are you easier to respect in public than to live with in private?
When your wife thinks about your love, does she feel cherished or tolerated?
Have you become passive spiritually?
Are you leading your home toward Christ — or leaving that responsibility to someone else?
Would your children learn Christlike love by watching your marriage?
Are you giving your wife your strength… or only your leftovers?
Have you confused headship with control?
Are you becoming a man worth following?
One day, every husband will stand before God and answer this question:
“How did you love the woman I entrusted to you?”… “Did you love her like My Son loved His church?”
Final Charge
The same Christ who calls you and me to lead our wife…also empowers you to love her.
The Holy Spirit is our Helper.
And through Christ, WE can become the man He has called us to be!
- - Ephesians 5:21–33NLT
- - Mark 10:42–45NLT

Your Calling

Lead Through Christ

Love Like Christ

Living Out Headship

Learning Responsibility vs Rights

Applied Actions

Ephesians 5:21–33NLT

Mark 10:42–45NLT