River Church NOLA
Wed July 16th
  • Rest On Us
  • Set A Fire
  • Trust In God
  • Build My Life
  • We have been in the series, Flourish and Thrive. It’s a series on seven specific areas of life that God has designed for us to flourish in as His people: Spiritual Growth, Vocation, Finances, Health, Relationships, Character, and Happiness.
    This evening I want us to look at Relationships… “How To Enjoy the People in Your Life." 
    Peter Drucker, the father of American management, said that the number one characteristic of a CEO, of a leader, is that they enjoy other people.
    “The number one characteristic of a CEO, of a leader, is that they enjoy other people.”

    Do you enjoy the people around you? 

    The people that you work with?  The people that you're married to?  The people in your family? 
    Solomon said in Eccl 9:9
    Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT
    9 Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.
    Too often, marriages are more a matter of endurance than enjoyment.  We don't really enjoy the people in our lives, we tolerate them, we put up with them.  We endure them.  Paul teaches us to enjoy the people in our lives… all of them.
    Philippians 1:3–11 NLT
    3 Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, 5 for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. 6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. 7 So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. 8 God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus. 9 I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. 10 For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. 11 May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.
    So let’s look at what it takes to flourish or enjoy the people in our lives.

    What does it take to enjoy the people in your life?

    Four Keys

    1. Be grateful for the good in people.

    Philippians 1:3 NLT
    3 Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.
    Paul thanked God every time he thought about the Christians in Philippi. That means he focused on the good things. He remembered the positive experiences he had with these people.
    What do you remember about people? The good experiences of the bad experiences.
    When Paul wrote this, he had not had an easy time in Philippi. Acts 16 tells us the background.
    When he went to Philippi he was arrested illegally, whipped, humiliated, thrown in prison.  While in prison there was an earthquake.  He was asked to leave town.  Paul did not have a good time in Philippi, he had a bad time. 
    Yet he says, when I think of you I remember the good things.  "I thank God every time I remember you."  Paul could have dwelt on the negative.  He could have remembered the painful memories.  He chose not to remember the painful and he focused on the things he could be grateful for.
    APP
    Maybe you have, in your past, been hurt by a parent or a partner and you’re still holding on to that hurt. As a result you can’t enjoy them today. You’re still focusing on the bad and the negative.
    Be grateful for the good in people. Pleasant memories are a choice. I can choose what I am going to think about and what I will remember about the past. Write this down. So do this…

    Remember the best, forget the rest.

    I’m not saying to deny that you have been hurt or that you excuse weaknesses in other people. That would not be psychologically healthy. But focus on the good and choose to emphasize their strengths.
    Paul appreciated people’s loyalty. Philippians 1:5 “for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now.”
    These people had been with him since the founding of the church.
    Who has been loyal to you? Maybe someone at work? a friend? a spouse? Maybe they didn’t do anything spectacular, but over and over again, when they had the opportunity to walk out on you… they didn’t.
    When you were going through bankruptcy… a crisis at work… a change in careers … or maybe when you were just being a jerk… They stayed with you. We ought to appreciate that.
    If you want to enjoy others, you have to focus on their positives, not their weaknesses. Now, for sure there are people who it takes some creativity to find the good, but you can find something good in everyone.

    2. Practice positive praying.

    Philippians 1:4 NLT
    4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy,
     How would you like to have the Apostle Paul praying for you? That would be pretty good wouldn’t it? I don’t know about you, but when I know people are praying for me, it encourages me. I suspect that it encourages you too.
    Write this down.

    The quickest way to change a relationship from bad to good is to start thanking God in prayer for them.

    When you start thanking God for them in prayer, it will do two things. It will change your attitude and change them. Positive praying is much more powerful than positive thinking. People may resist our advice and reject our appeals and suggestions, and not listen to our help, but they are powerless against our prayers.
    When you tell someone that you will pray for them, what do you say? What do you pray? God bless them? That’s pretty general. When you pray specific prayers, you get specific answers. Look at what Paul prayed…
    Philippians 1:9–11 NLT
    9 I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. 10 For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. 11 May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.
    Let’s look at four things Paul prays for pother people. You can pray for people in your life and you know that your prayers because they are God’s will… they are in his word.

    Pray that they grow in love.

    Paul prays that their love will overflow… like a tidal wave.

    Pray that they make wise choices.

    Paul prayed that they would grow in knowledge and understanding.

    Pray that they will do the right thing.

    live pure and blameless lives…

    Pray that they will love for God’s glory.

    their life will bring much glory to God.

    3. Be patient with their progress.

    Paul didn’t just look at people’s past, he saw their future… what they could be in Christ. He saw what they could become and was patient with their progress.
    Philippians 1:6 NLT
    6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
    Paul writes that what God starts, He finishes. So whatever God has begun in your life, we will finish.
    Typically, we are all great starters, but we are terrible finishers. We leave all sorts of things unfinished: wars, books, buildings, home projects… People don’t always finish their projects. However, God always finishes what He starts.
    God doesn’t create a bird and not give him color and wings. He doesn’t create a flower and leave it half done. When he created the world, he said after each day it is good. After creating people, he said is was very good.
    So Paul is teaching that when Jesus begins something in your life, He will always complete what he began. In spite of my faults, my sins, all of the circumstances of my life, or your life… God will always finish what he begins. As a matter of fact, the Bible teaches that when we get to heaven, we will become just like Jesus.
    Write this down.

    God is not finished with me.

    He isn’t finished with you and he is not finished with the people around you. If you are going to flourish in your relationships and enjoy the people around you, you have to allow for their growth and development… just like someone is doing with you. Paul could say, I’m not the man I used ot be, thank God, but thank God I’m not the man I’m growing to be.
    In your marriage, if you want to enjoy your marriage, you've got to learn to enjoy your husband or your wife right now while allowing for growth and development.  Otherwise, by the time they meet your conditions you will have still another condition for them to meet.  You've got to learn to enjoy them where they are right now. 
    Parents, if you're going to learn to enjoy your kids you've got to learn to enjoy them in the process, while they're growing because there is no such thing as a perfect kid.  And there's no such thing as a perfect adult.  If you demand perfection of the people in your life in order to enjoy them you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life.  Nobody's perfect.
    Paul says that he enjoyed the Philippians because he chose to ignore the bad things that happened and concentrated on the good. He was grateful for the good that happened and he practiced positive praying, he prayed with joy and for specific things in their life.
    If you want something to change, change your attitude and start praying for that person who irritates you at work… that person in your house… that child or spouse… and see what happens to your attitude. Then be patient with their progress because life is a process.
    John 1:12 NLT
    12 But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.
    He gave us the right to becomes children of God. It’s a process. We are all growing... we are all becoming. To enjoy people in your life, you have to enjoy them in the process.
    Philippians 1:6 NLT
    6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
    Paul believed in God’s ability to change human personality. Paul didn’t believe anyone was hopeless. God never gives up on anyone. That’s a promise that we can claim and claim for those we love.
    What Paul is really talking about is faith. Faith is expecting the best from other people. There is power in faith. We are all shaped by expectations. People tend to live up to people’s expectations are of us.
    The mistake we make is that we tend to judge people on the basis of how far they have to go rather than how far they have come.

    Focus on how far they have come.

    4. Love people from the heart.

    If people are not in your heart, they will be on your nerves.
    If your kids are not in your heart, they will be on your nerves.
    If your spouse is not in your heart, they will be on your nerves.
    The reason so many relationships crumble is that each one reacts to each other from their mind, not their heart. When your wife says, "I feel depressed" listen to her; it's legitimate.  When your husband says, "I don't feel this is the right thing we ought to do.  We ought to do it this other way." Listen to him.  Listening and loving from the heart hears the hurt behind the words.
    Loving from the heart begins with understanding why they feel the way they feel. Why does the person at work act like such a jerk? Maybe you don’t know what’s going on at home… or you don’t know his background. Maybe he is way better than he used to be. Hear the hurt behind the actions and the words … try to understand them. You need to understand the moods of people in your life, and why they act the way they do. If you care, you will be aware.
    You gain understanding by asking questions and then listening. People want to be heard and understood. It’s comforting when you are with people who understand you.

    How do you love those people that even when you do understand them, they are unlovable? 

    Philippians 1:8 NLT
    8 God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.
    Tender compassion is affection, but in the Greek means bowels. The Greeks thought the seat of emotions was the gut. So Paul was saying I have a gut feeling of Love for you.
    It is intensive love that makes me love even the unlovely.  That is not a natural kind of love.  It is a supernatural kind of love and that's why Paul said it's not from himself, but it's the affection of Christ Jesus.  Human love wears out and dries up and dies on the vine.  This happens to everybody. 
    The only kind of love that lasts and lasts in spite of heartache and difficulty in tough circumstances is God's love -- the affection of Jesus Christ.  That's the only kind of love that lasts.
    Romans 5:5 NLT
    5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
    God's love is not something you work up.  It is something that is poured into me by the Holy Spirit as I let Him live in me day by day.  God's love is something He does in me and through me.  It is a gift as you let the Holy Spirit live in you moment by moment. Write this down.

    The secret of enjoying people in my life is to be filled with God’s love.

    Life is too short to not enjoy the people in your life.  If you don't learn to enjoy the people that God has placed around you in your life you will be miserable. People can rob us of our joy unless we learn to respond to them the way Jesus did.
    Conclusion

    Who do I need to be thankful for? 

    Who have you taken for granted in your life?  Who have you failed to appreciate?  When was the last time you wrote a "thank you" note, or bought some flowers, or made that favorite dinner, gave a kind word? Or maybe they did that for you and you didn’t show appreciation. Don’t play the balance game… remember the best and forget the rest.

    Am I praying for those around me every day?

    Are you praying for your kids, your husband, your wife?  Do you pray that they'll be filled with love and make wise decisions, do the right thing and live for the glory of God?  Every one of the books Paul writes usually has a prayer in it somewhere and you can pray it for other people.

    Who do I need to be patient with in their progress?

    Somebody at work?  Your kids?  Your husband and his progress? You look at how far he's got to go in being the spiritual leader of your home but you've forgot to look at how far he's already come.

    Who do I need to start loving from the heart and not the head?

    Paul started this church; he was the founding pastor.  He had these people in his heart.  The word in the Bible which means "enjoying other people" is the word "fellowship".  That's what it's all about -- enjoying your family, your church.  When you really love each other, that's what fellowship is all about
    Altar Time

      • Ecclesiastes 9:9NIV2011

      • Philippians 1:3–11NIV2011

      • Philippians 1:3NIV2011

      • Philippians 1:4NIV2011

      • Philippians 1:9–11NIV2011

      • Philippians 1:6NIV2011

      • John 1:12NIV2011

      • Philippians 1:6NIV2011

      • Philippians 1:8NIV2011

      • Romans 5:5NIV2011

River Church NOLA
robert@riverchurchnola.com
504-578-8317
https://riverchurchnola.com
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