River Church NOLA
Sun July 20
  • This Is Amazing Grace
  • The Only Name (Yours Will Be)
  • You Are My All In All
  • All Honour
  • We’re approaching the end of our Flourish & Thrive series, and this week, we look at an aspect that holds everything together: character. So far, we’ve discussed how we can thrive spiritually, in our vocations, financially, in our health, and through our relationships. This week, we consider how God calls us to thrive through our character, our very way of being.
    For most of us, to Flourish and Thrive in our character requires making some radical changes. For others, it requires making some minor changes, but we all have to change if we want to become the person God wants us to become. We are in the process of becoming. Look at what Paul wrote in 2 CO 3:18
    2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT
    18 So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.
    We are becoming more and more like Him… it’s a process. Paul’s classic teaching on this is in Ephesians 4 and He gives us 6 elements that the Holy Spirit uses to help us grow in our character.
    First, have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to change?

    Why is it so hard to change my personal defects?

    1. Because I’ve had them for a while.

    You didn’t get messed up overnight. Think about it. It takes time to collect all the bad habits and hang ups we struggle with today.
    A lot of the patterns of behavior we have as adults began much younger… childhood or teens. These patterns actually seem to help us cope with difficulties in our lives… for a while. But eventually they become self defeating and damaging. But, as damaging as they are, you are used to them and they feel comfortable.

    2. Because I identify with them.

    Think about it. We often identify ourselves as our weakness. We say things like, I’m an alcoholic… a workaholic… passive aggressive… shy… People will say, that’s who I am and I can’t change. It like we are afraid that we wont’ be who we are if we get rid of the weakness.

    3. Because every defect has a payoff.

    You may not realize it, but every defect or behavior has a reward. If it didn’t, you would not do it. Write this down.

    Whatever is repeated is being rewarded.

    It doesn’t matter if the behavior is self-defeating or not, if you get a reward from it, you will repeat it. If there is no reward, you would not keep doing it, so there is a pay-off. It might be short term and cause long term pain, but it’s a pay off.

    4. Because the devil doesn’t want me to change.

    Satan doesn’t want you to follow the Lord. As long as you don’t, he mostly will leave you alone. But when you do, he will do everything he can to keep you from following the Lord. He doesn’t want your character to develop more like Jesus.
    He will tell you things like: You’ll never change… You might as well not even try… You have been this way all of your life & you can’t change… it won’t work… don’t try.
    Those kinds of statements are coming from the one who hates you more than anything and wants to destroy your life.
    Satan will also use fear. He get you to feel that the rut you are in is safe and secure. He will make you believe that if you change, the people in your life will leave you.
    Those are some of the reasons we don’t change and grow in our character. Now let’s get into the good stuff and see how God grows our character.
    What does it take for real change to happen?

    6 Characteristics of change

    1. Real character change begins with new thinking.

    If you want to change your character, don’t focus on your actions, or your behavior, focus on your thoughts. Why? Because you can change what you think about. Write this down.

    When you change you thinking, it will change your feelings and that will change your actions.

    The battle is won or lost in your mind.
    Ephesians 4:23 CEV
    23 Let the Spirit change your way of thinking
    The Holy Spirit will change your thinking. That’s why it’s important to spend time with God each day: Bible reading, meditation, worship, prayer.
    God doesn’t want us to do this alone. What we call the fruit of the Spirit comes from the HS working in your life. Gal 5:22-23
    Galatians 5:22–23 NLT
    22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
    These fruit are not something that you do on your own. They are character traits that God grows from the inside out. To truly grow in our character, we have to stop thinking like the rest of the world. Eph 4:17-19
    Ephesians 4:17–19 NLT
    17 With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.
    To flourish in our character, we have to think different from the world. The world wants us to drift away from God and focus on our own satisfaction. God calls us to be different in every area… the way we speak, act, handle money, morality, the way we work…
    Paul talks about this in Romans 12 2
    Romans 12:2 NLT
    2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
    If you want to be transformed, you can’t be conformed. If you want to grow in your character by allowing God to transform you, you cannot be conformed to what our culture wants you be. It’s difficult but we don’t have to do this on our own. Remember Paul said,
    Ephesians 4:23 CEV
    23 Let the Spirit change your way of thinking
    Do you get the point? We have to allow God to change the way we think.

    2. Real character change requires learning the truth.

    John 17:17 NLT
    17 Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth.
    This is very counter cultural. Our culture says, there is no absolute truth. Jesus said differently. This verse is from a prayer Jesus was praying over his disciples before his crucification. He is asking God the Father to teach us the truth… his word… the Bible. The secret to real change is not will power, pill power or resolutions. The secret to personal change or growth is learning, knowing and applying the WOG in our lives.
    Paul says that if we spend the time with God in His word and in prayer… Eph 4:14-15
    Ephesians 4:14–15 NLT
    14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
    What is the reward for doing it God’s way? We will be mature. Paul also said Eph 4:21
    Ephesians 4:21 NLT
    21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him,
    The more we come to know Jesus, the more truth we will have in our lives. Think about it. Jesus was murdered and then rose from the dead. That proves he is who he said he is.
    We can trust the scripture. 2 Tim 3 16-17
    2 Timothy 3:16–17 NLT
    16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.
    If we trust God’s Word, it will help us in at least 4 ways.

    The Bible shows us the path to take.

    The Bible shows us how we got off the path.

    The Bible shows us how to get back on the path.

    The Bible shows us how to stay on the path.

    To flourish in our character, we have to change the way we think and that involves allowing the Holy Spirit to help us. He will help us understand the WOG and know the truth. If your character isn’t growing and changing, you are not spending enough time with the Lord.

    3. Real character change requires cleaning house.

    We all have junk we need to get rid of in our houses. We have junk in this building we need to get rid of.
    If you want to thrive physically, you have to get rid of the junk food. If you want a healthy mind, there will most likely be some changes in what you read, watch and listen to. If you want a healthy schedule, you need to learn what to get rid of and prioritize the rest.
    If we want a clean heart, we have to do some “spring cleaning.” Maybe you need to confess some things to the Lord. If you can’ think of anything, ask the Lord and he will show you.
    Augustine once said,
    Confession of bad works is the beginning of good works.
    So the third step is cleaning house. Paul put it like this. Eph 4:22
    Ephesians 4:22 GNB
    22 So get rid of your old self, which made you live as you used to—the old self that was being destroyed by its deceitful desires.
    Hebrews 12:1 GW
    1 Since we are surrounded by so many examples ⸤of faith⸥, we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that distracts us. We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up.
    When you clean house, you throw stuff out. Think about what that means for you.

    4. Real character change requires honest friendships.

    Someone once said, you don’t have to go to church to be a Christian, and that’s true. But you can’t be in God’s will and not go because God says to go to church. Hebrews 10:25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
    You can build relationships here that will be open and honest. On Wednesdays, we eat together and build relationships. Small groups are helpful too. Trust doesn’t happen over night, but you will develop trusting relationships.
    Ephesians 4:25 NLT
    25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.
    We spend a lot of time lying to ourselves and others… pretending to be someone we are not. Paul says to get real… Be honest. Godly friends can and will help you grow in your character if you let them. But we have to be honest.
    To grow in your character, you have to get over the fear of being honest with people because that’s the only way you will be free… will change and grow into the person God wants you to be. We ALL need people in our lives both to help us when we need it and for us to help when they need it.
    Paul gives som instruction on this in Eph 4 32
    Ephesians 4:32 NLT
    32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
    When you make a mistake, the world will point it out and try to ruin you. Here at River Church, we are here to walk with you through it and help you get back on track. That’s the kind of relationships I want to see here at River Church.
    Here is another practical tip Paul gives. Eph 4:29
    Ephesians 4:29 NLT
    29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
    Our words should always be helpful and encouraging. There would be a lot less problems in our lives and world if people just followed this one verse.
    You don’t need to share your issues with everyone, just one or a small group you can trust.

    5. Faster Character Change requires mentors.

    We all need mentors in our lives. Singers have voice coaches… CEO’s have mentors… top athletes have personal trainers… Different leaders in the Bible had mentors also.
    Moses mentored Joshua…
    Elijah mentored Elisha
    David mentored Solomon
    Samuel mentored David
    Jesus mentored the Disciples
    Paul mentored Timothy.
    Look what Paul told Timothy in 2 Tim 2 2
    2 Timothy 2:2 NLT
    2 You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.
    Paul says just like he mentored Timothy, he wanted Timothy to mentor others. You are benefiting from people who have mentored me over the years.
    Paul mentions 5 different kinds of mentors in Eph 4:11-13
    Ephesians 4:11–13 NLT
    11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.
    Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors and Teachers. Why? so that people would become mature and ready to do the serve the Lord and do the same.
    If you want to have the character that flourishes, you need honest fellowship.

    6. Real Character Change requires faith.

    You have to believe that Jesus can and will change you… that with God’s help you can and will be different. You have to believe that God can transform you through His Holy Spirit, His word and his people along with your choices. With that in place, you can grow in character.
    Paul encourages us with Eph 3:20
    Ephesians 3:20 LBP
    20 Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of—infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.
    God is able to do a lot more than we can even hope to imagine. Write this down.

    I have to believe I can change with God’s help.

    Philippians 4:13 NLT
    13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
    He can make you ready and able to face anything. This “can-do” attitude is based on God’s promise. Jesus placed a lot of emphasis on faith. Matt 9:29
    Matthew 9:29 NLT
    29 Then he touched their eyes and said, “Because of your faith, it will happen.”
    We get to choose how we will change… what giants we will conquer… what mountains we will climb. We get to choose the qualities we will develop… we just have to have faith.
    Jesus said, because of your faith it will happen.
    If you want to grow your character, it begins with allowing Jesus to change the way we think by spending time in His Word, and letting the WOG change us. Then we develop honest friends whom we can share life with and be honest with. We allow someone to mentor us as we mentor someone else. If you would like to lead a group in the Fall, Pastor Kathy and I are your mentors.
    When you do these 6 steps, you will see God Transform your life.
    Prayer
    Father, I want to thank You for Your word that it's so clear, it's so accurate, it's so helpful, so practical. I pray that every one of us this week will begin by first challenging our thoughts and saying, "How do I need to think about that defect in a way, that problem in a new way, that area of my life that keeps causing conflict in my relationships?"
    Lord, help me to see myself as I really am and to be honest and open about it, and then, Holy Spirit, give me the strength and the power through Your word as I read the Word. Apply the truth to my life. Make it a difference in my life. Replace the tension with truth. Transform me with the truth of the Word. Then, Lord, may we look to others and realizing that Your plan is that we get grace by being humble and your plan is that other people can help me grow in areas and help me team-tackle a problem in my life.        
    Lord, May we each find a challenge, a mentor, a pacesetter in our lives that would cause us to be, who's one step ahead of us, would cause us to keep on growing, and give them permission to be honest about things we need to work on in our lives.
    Most of all, I pray that everyone who's listening will have a spirit of faith and realize, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." That means I can change things that have been bad patterns in my life. I don't have to stay the same. Thank You for the Good News of the Gospel of grace that I don't have to stay the same.
    Altar time
    With our heads bowed, if you have not opened your life to Jesus Christ, would you do so right now? That's the first step to get God's power in your life. Say, "Jesus Christ, come into my life. Come into my life and fill me with your love. I want to learn to follow you and trust you and love you, and I humbly ask you to come into my life, in your name, amen."

      • 2 Corinthians 3:18NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:23NIV2011

      • Galatians 5:22–23NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:17–19NIV2011

      • Romans 12:2NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:23NIV2011

      • John 17:17NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:14–15NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:21NIV2011

      • 2 Timothy 3:16–17NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:22NIV2011

      • Hebrews 12:1NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:25NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:32NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:29NIV2011

      • 2 Timothy 2:2NIV2011

      • Ephesians 4:11–13NIV2011

      • Ephesians 3:20NIV2011

      • Philippians 4:13NIV2011

      • Matthew 9:29NIV2011

River Church NOLA
robert@riverchurchnola.com
504-578-8317
https://riverchurchnola.com
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