Real Life Selkirk
** August 23** Earthly Relationships, Kingdom Eyes (Matthew 18:15-35)

  • Sermon

    Key Passage

    Matthew 14:13–21 NIV
    When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered. “Bring them here to me,” he said. And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

    Series Introduction

    The book of Matthew is where we get our definition of a disciple
    Matthew 4:19 ESV
    And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
    Biblical Disciple Defined:
    Following Jesus
    Changed by Jesus
    Obedient to Jesus— Making Disciples
    The book of Matthew is where we see our calling as disciples:
    Matthew 28:19–20 NIV
    Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
    So we are using the book of Matthew as our Field Manual on how to live as disciples.
    We have walked through the book of Matthew to this point.
    As we have crossed Matthew 14, we have hit the 1/2 way mark of the book.
    Identity of the King
    Matthew goes to great lengths to introduce Jesus as the Messiah, King, God in the flesh, and savior.
    A disciple is someone who sees and knows who Jesus is.
    Not what preachers say, not what culture says, but rather, what the the Word of God says.
    Authority of the King
    We have just completed a segment where we have emphasized the authority of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom He brings.
    You will see how the passages and teachings of Jesus drive us to a humble surrender to Jesus Christ, His authority and His Kingdom
    This isn’t me imposing this upon the Scriptures. This is the emphasis of Matthew and what he draws out of Jesus life.
    A disciple is someone who lays their lives down to follow Jesus
    That is our calling. My authority or His.
    Kingdom Living
    Now, we will move to a part of the book of Matthew that will emphasize Kingdom Living
    I know this has had practical elements that we can put directly into our lives.
    But Jesus’ identity has been established and His authority has been seen.
    Some have surrendered to the authority, others have rejected His authority.
    Now, Jesus’ ministry will begin to focus on His disciples and those who are choosing to follow Him and what life in the Kingdom means for them.
    These next few passages don’t just convict. They meddle. They meddle with our lives. Our core beliefs.
    God, through His Holy Spirit is going to start pointing at some parts of our lives that we are uncomfortable with.
    This is sanctification. This is the consequence of a surrendered life as a disciple. This is a life that looks more like Jesus as we follow Jesus.
    We don’t wear Jesus down to our sinful nature
    As we devote ourselves to Him, He wears down our sinful nature into conformity to His holiness.
    As a disciple of Jesus, this is our journey.

    Sermon Introduction

    I love how the text moves in our passage today.
    For the last few weeks, we have been looking at the teachings of Jesus.
    I remember when I was at North Idaho College, training for my future career in Law Enforcement.
    We would take classes about law, arrest techniques, and driving cars very fast.
    But do you know what we weren’t doing? We weren’t out there being cops doing these things in the field. We were learning about them.
    I remember talking to my classmates about how hard it is to learn these things, but not being able to see them in action in real life.
    There is a difference from the classroom and real life. This is true in almost every area of life.
    Parenting: Most of us were better parents with more answers, and then we had kids.
    Work: Most of us felt more equipped after an education, but then we started the job.
    Me as a cop: I thought I had been trained with all of the answers, then someone wanted to square up with me and fight.
    The disciples had just heard about:
    The Kingdom of Heaven being like seed on good soil
    The Kingdom of Heaven being like yeast in bread
    The Kingdom of Heaven being fruitful
    The Kingdom of Heaven having eternal Heaven and Hell consequences.
    These are great things to learn, especially from the mouth of Jesus.
    But then real life meets our passage today.

    Topic- True Compassion

    Over the last couple of months, I feel God has been working on my heart. As I prepared this sermon, I want to share three areas that I observed in my world where I saw God’s work in my heart:
    Story #1-
    On June 1, I logged onto my social media. (I am moving away from social media in my life. If you’ve sent me a friend request and I haven’t responded...sorry) But I check on the important things, like my Minnesota Vikings.
    I saw that they had changed their team logo on the profile to a rainbow version of their team logo.
    My first response was, “Ugh, here we go again. Another month of jamming sinful behavior down our throats.”
    I scrolled through a few of the comments and saw vile responses on two sides of a matter that our world wants to fight about.
    I tend to lean toward the, “Well, I’m going to unfollow my team for the month to make a point.” line of thinking.
    This is when God convicted my heart:
    This is an issue that has struck not just hundreds of thousands of people in our nation and in our community.
    This is an issue that has struck my own family.
    What does God see in this moment?
    Does He want to join in with a few Holy zingers?
    No. I don’t believe so
    I believe this breaks the heart of God.
    There are people, created in His image, created to know Him, created to find their identity in Him who have believed something else
    They have rejected Jesus Christ as Lord and have chosen a lifestyle and an identity as their Lord and are proclaiming it from the rooftops.
    If their identity is not in Jesus, their eternity is hell.
    God loves them. God is brokenhearted. Am I?
    I started thinking about my daughter. I’m brokenhearted about my daughter who is caught up in this lie.
    It is my hope and prayer that there is a believer who has enough of the heart of God to show compassion to her, not the comments that I saw on social media.
    My daughter needs Jesus, not a lecture.
    Story #2-
    Around a month ago, I was dutifully working on a sermon in my living room.
    I really get focused on sermons. I pray, I ask God for guidance. I study, read, listen and learn.
    I want to Gospel to impact lives! But I also forget that sometimes God is preaching a sermon that isn’t in my notes.
    My doorbell rang and a longtime neighbor that I have known only by waving through the years was standing there.
    Her daughter had been arrested and released from jail. Her daughter had nowhere to go, no money, no friends, no home. My neighbors house was not an option because of her release terms from jail.
    I had a sermon to prepare. I had God’s work on my plate. I have to give you guys the best.
    But God showed me my heart. Standing before me was a desperate mother. She was broken and hurting and I was the only Christian she knew that might help.
    Understand this, I’ve never asked her for anything and she’s never asked me for anything.
    The reason she was standing before me at that moment was God.
    I sat down and listened to her and told her that I would be willing to talk with her daughter and see if I could help.
    She left and I went back to my sermon, but only for around 30 minutes because the daughter came to my front door.
    Lisa and I invited her in, fed her dinner and found a place for her to stay.
    She had a need, but she had a different need.
    She was where she was because she had a lord of her life, but it wasn’t Jesus.
    My heart broke for her, knowing that her destination is hell apart from Jesus.
    That is why it was worth dropping my sermon for the day.
    I don’t say this to brag, but rather to share with you what God is doing in my heart.
    I open up with these two stories because I hear the words of Jesus in our previous parables, but when it comes to real life, it has taken the work of God in my heart for me to change.
    We stand here every week as a church and say,
    Vision:
    We exist to reach the world for Jesus, one person at a time.
    Our passage today shows us at the ground level how this must begin.
    We don’t learn theological points, then convey those theological points for the salvation of others.
    God’s word has to take root in our hearts
    Our hearts have to break. Our sinful lives have to change. We have to conform to the eyes, hands and heart of Jesus! Otherwise, no soul will embrace the Gospel from our message.
    We are talking about the word, “compassion” today.
    It is something we see in Jesus.
    It is something the disciples knew in theory, but their practical knowledge fell woefully short.
    Today we are going to look at the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000.
    This is a powerful story that I believe God wants us to be very familiar with.
    Many of us have heard this sermon preached about the “Multiplication of Jesus”
    How we give Jesus our loaves and fish and he will prosper us.
    There is a multiplication teaching to this passage. But it is in the context of the heart of Jesus
    This passage is about the heart of Jesus.
    It is recorded in all four Gospel accounts
    It is the only miracle other than the resurrection that is recorded in all four gospel accounts.
    Why do you suppose that is?
    There is something in this passage that reveals the heart of God that He wants us to see.
    Question to Answer:
    What is true compassion?
    This is a question we will all wrestle with in our lives.
    What is compassion?
    What are the boundaries in compassion?
    What is Jesus asking of me?
    This will all boil down to clear teaching in our passage today.

    True Compassion is seeing what Jesus sees (verses 13-14)

    Matthew 14:13 NIV
    When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns.
    Matthew helps us set our context here. We can see the purpose behind the movement of Jesus.
    It says, “When Jesus heard what had happened...”
    We ask the question, “What did Jesus hear had happened?”
    The passage just prior, two things are revealed.
    First of all JTB, Jesus’ cousin, had been killed by Herod
    Second, Herod had heard about Jesus and believed Jesus was JTB resurrected from the dead.
    In grief and in complications we see Jesus’ response
    Grief because his cousin had been killed
    Complications because Herod now possibly had his sights set on Jesus.
    This is a place where we can see the humanity of Jesus.
    Both of these pieces together compounded would make anyone emotionally overwhelmed.
    Being emotionally overwhelmed in this life is a reality
    God created us in His image. We see that God has emotion. Strong emotion.
    He exhibits joy, anger, pleasure, and peace.
    We too carry emotion.
    As a response of hearing this about Herod and JTB, Jesus withdrew by boat to a solitary place.
    If you remember, Jesus had gone to his hometown and preached.
    The people there didn’t have much faith. However, the people in the places surrounding His hometown seemed to desperately want to hear him.
    Nazareth is around 10 miles from the Sea of Galilee, so Jesus withdrew to the sea of Galilee, got into a boat and went to a solitary place
    Why do you think he went to a solitary place?
    To be with God.
    After He dismisses the crowd, he sends his disciples into the boat and he goes up on the mountain by himself to pray.
    The whole purpose of Jesus in this moment was to be with the Father.
    I want to explore this.
    It is a bit of a rabbit trail, but we don’t have too many verses to cover today.
    Is anyone in this room overwhelmed? Stressed? Worried? Battling the news, grief and struggles this world offers?
    There are always responsibilities, but the greater the worry, grief and stress, the greater we need to be in a solitary place with God.
    You may have come to church today to find hope in your circumstance. I want you to know that church will not provide that solution. A sermon will not provide that solution. Five points on how to find peace in life will not provide that solution.
    God is your solution. God and only God.
    And you may be here today and need to hear this: Get alone with God. Get rid of all of the distractions. Shut your phone off. Turn down your computer. Get a babysitter for the kids.
    Go to God. Go to the Word. Spend time pouring out your heart, your fears, your worries, the consequences to Him.
    Allow Him to strengthen you. Build you. Carry you.
    Matthew 14:14 NIV
    When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
    Spending solitary time with God is necessary and good, but sometimes there are disruptions.
    Can I get an amen?
    Let’s notice this. There is an interruption here.
    Was God in the interruption? Yes.
    Did Jesus still make time to be alone with God? Yes.
    Jesus got into the boat and started going to the isolated place and people on the shoreline said, “That’s Jesus in the boat. Let’s follow Him!”
    They probably had their binoculars and started tracking where he was. Others started following the crowds.
    It built up so much and they traveled on foot through enough towns that a massive crowd.
    I want you to see this:
    When Jesus landed, did He see 5 minutes of isolation? Did He see his quiet time with God?
    No, He saw the crowd.
    I want to pause here because interruptions are a big part of life.
    Believe it or not, I am an introvert at heart.
    That means that I find my energy from not being around crowds, rather than from being around people.
    For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me. God put me in a place that I have to work with people, but people drain me.
    Now I have discovered that God is glorified in my weaknesses. Go figure. He should have said that somewhere.
    In reading about being an introvert, one thing that stood out to me is that interruptions frustrate everyone, but they especially anger introverts.
    It is because when they are formulating a thought, that thought literally touches every part of their brain before crossing the road and coming out of their mouth.
    That is why introverts sit at a table think of the right thing to say when the conversation has moved on to three different topics.
    But in this process of figuring out what to say and how to say it, if the introvert is interrupted, you have taken a massive part of their brain processing and flushed it before anything could be formed.
    That is why other people are so much work. You have to have conversations with them.
    You burned their limited energy with other people.
    It’s hard not to see interruptions as personal or at a minimum a frustration in life.
    It is rude, or a problem that needs to be solved or ignored.
    I want you to see what the heart of Jesus is.
    Remember, the heart of Jesus demonstrates the heart of God.
    Jesus saw the crowds and He had compassion on them.
    I want to bump over to the book of Mark and see what Mark highlights about this explanation:
    Mark 6:34 NIV
    When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.
    Do you hear the heart of Jesus?
    They were like sheep without a shepherd.
    Jesus has used this language before. He sees these people as sheep.
    Sheep need a shepherd
    Sheep are defenseless
    Sheep fight with each other
    Sheep will wander off and get themselves killed
    Jesus sees these people like this
    There were people claiming to be shepherds, but the sheep were either being neglected or abused, or completely abandoned.
    Jesus saw people who needed a savior.
    He had compassion on them.
    Who was in the crowd?
    There were likely people who leaned toward the Roman govt
    There were people who leaned toward the Jewish leadership
    There were sinners, tax collectors and prostitutes
    There were righteous church attending folks.
    What did they all have in common? They needed a shepherd from where they were in life.
    And they knew they needed a shepherd. That is why they came to Jesus.
    Do you see this in Mark 6? How did Jesus help to meet the needs of the people?
    He taught them the truth from the mouth of God.
    God give us your eyes
    May we not simply see you for who you are
    May we see those around us as you see them
    They are not problems, political issues, or interruptions
    They are hearts and souls that are lost apart from Jesus
    True Compassion is seeing what Jesus sees

    True Compassion replaces our ideas of compassion

    Matthew 14:15 NIV
    As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”
    As evening approached.
    I want to pause there.
    What had Jesus done with these people.
    He had compassion on them. They likely had needs of every sort as they came to him.
    There were thousands and the numbers were likely growing by the minute.
    Jesus taught them until evening.
    There is a spiritual endurance these people had.
    They didn’t come to Jesus and say, “We are awaiting our 30 minute sermon”
    They came to Jesus. He had compassion on their soul. And He presented the truth to them.
    This was not a series of motivational thoughts. This was not a 5 minute devotional.
    Do you think a 5 minute devotional is going to transform your life?
    Or do you think pressing in to the King of Kings because He is the source of truth and He is showing His compassion by sharing the truth of the Bible with you. This will transform your life.
    They were there until evening.
    The disciples were probably getting hungry and they were seeing that it was getting dark.
    They thought, “Well, we’d better bring this to an end. These people don’t have any food and asking them to stay any longer is unreasonable.”
    They felt that they would do the compassionate thing and send people home...away from Jesus.
    Here is where assumptions kill.
    The Pharisees assumed they knew what the Messiah was supposed to do—They were wrong and they missed Jesus entirely because of their assumption
    The people in Jesus hometown assumed they knew Jesus identity (his father, mother and siblings)— They were wrong and they missed Jesus entirely because of their assumption
    Even Herod assumed he knew who Jesus was as a prophet—He was wrong and he completely missed Jesus.
    Here, the disciples assume that they know what is best for the people.
    Is this because they had gone to Jesus and said, “Lord, these are your sheep and you are the shepherd, what do you want us to do?”
    Or did they assume some level of authority and say, “We know what is best for these people.”
    They assumed God’s will, however, Jesus would not let them miss this opportunity to build their faith.
    Matthew 14:16–17 NIV
    Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.
    Jesus says, “If we are going to to this in your wisdom, then show me the power by which you are going to perform.”
    They had already crossed that bridge in their mind. They had already asked the question, “Is there enough food present in the crowd?”
    The answer was a resounding “no”
    I want you to see this. This has been one of the biggest failure points of my life and of my ministry.
    I see a need, I see a person, I see a situation and I come up with what I feel is the best circumstance I could think of.
    So often, my solution seem inadequate and doesn’t seem to do anything.
    In fact, when I look at the problems in the world around me and my capability to do anything, it leaves me largely paralyzed.
    If I cannot help them all, I’d rather just not help anyone.
    That is the solution that the disciples found themselves.
    We can’t help these people, so let’s send them home.
    I want to make this point significantly clear today.
    I cannot give true compassion. It is not capable within myself
    I can see needs. I can feel hurt with people. But I cannot have any sort of compassion apart from the heart of God.
    It is God’s compassion they need. Not mine.
    My compassion is a flawed helpless compassion that is limited to my wisdom and strength.
    His is a compassion that can change the hearts and lives of the worst sinner.
    In themselves, they did not have the capability, vision or power to demonstrate God’s compassion.

    True Compassion offers the little we have to by used by Jesus for His purposes

    Matthew 14:18–21 NIV
    “Bring them here to me,” he said. And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.
    I know everyone wants to jump right to this passage and jump on the prosperity gospel train.
    If you put a little offering in the offering plate, God will multiply it!
    If you do a little, God will give you a bunch.
    So we give under this compulsion.
    Is this compassion? Is this surrender? Is this lordship?
    It is not an act of trust, faith or surrender to go to God and say, I’m giving you something and I expect you to give me back more.
    This is you trying to be God, while using God’s power for your own gain.
    This is the heights of idolotry.
    God is not an idol. He is not to be used for our own gain.
    He is to be glorified in the hearts of all who surrender to Him.
    Jesus showed them His heart.
    His heart was first of all compassion for the lost. They were lost and they needed the truth.
    But the need for their daily bread came to the surface and Jesus had compassion on them as well for this need.
    So Jesus asked His disciples to give him all they had.
    What they had was 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.
    Now, I love this.
    Jesus could have asked everyone to sit down and He could have drawn up a Wonderbread snow-storm. And Wonder bread could have fallen from the sky and everyone could have eaten.
    But Jesus didn’t do this.
    He took all that the disciples had to offer.
    It wasn’t too little. It wasn’t insignificant.
    What they had needed to be surrendered entirely to Jesus.
    Notice that Jesus gave thanks for the bread.
    He didn’t tell the disciples, “thank you”. He told God, “thank you”.
    Your food doesn’t come from your grocery budget or from the grocery store. It comes from God.
    He then broke the bread and gave it to the disciples
    I want to pause here and point to a massive ministry truth.
    The source of our heart should be the love and compassion of Jesus for a lost and dying world.
    Many people put offering in the basket or give online.
    Praise God for that. That is necessary and good.
    But what I want you to see is that they didn’t just give what they had to Jesus, Jesus gave it back to them to give to others.
    The resources required them to do the ministry Jesus wanted, based on His compassion for the people
    They participated in Jesus multiplication.
    But it wasn’t for them. It was for the glory of God and His compassion on these people.
    Are you willing to give what you have because God has opened your eyes to what He sees.
    But then use the life and heart He has given you to be part of what God does in someone else's life?

    Conclusion

    A few weeks ago, I was reading Nehemiah and he had heard about how Jerusalem was in ruins.
    It broke his heart. I want you to know that he could have used his salary, his influence and his ideas to start making a change.
    Instead, He went to God in prayer.
    He then allowed Himself to be used by God as part of the solution.
    The king asked him why he was sad. The king had never seen Nehemiah sad before.
    Before answering, it says that Nehemiah prayed to God before answering
    He then told the king about the situation in Jerusalem and how it broke his heart.
    The king sent him to rebuild the walls
    This is a story about the power of God, when it is led by God.
    In Nehemiahs, own strength, it would have been a guaranteed failure.
    In God’s hands, the compassion of God, True Compassion was seen for the people of Israel and Nehemiah played a big role.
    The difference between the 5 loaves and 2 fish is that in the hands of the disciples, it was worthless. In the hands of Jesus it met the need and revealed His nature.
    Church, when we opened this message today, we asked a simple but life‑altering question:
    What is true compassion?
    And we began by looking at our own lives—our reactions to culture, our frustrations with people, our interruptions, our assumptions, our limits. We saw how easy it is to know the teachings of Jesus in theory, but how hard it is to live them when real people with real needs show up at our door, or on our newsfeed, or in our family.
    We said earlier that the book of Matthew is our Field Manual for discipleship. Not just learning about Jesus. Not just agreeing with Jesus. But becoming like Jesus.
    And today, in Matthew 14, Jesus takes His disciples out of the classroom and into the field. He takes compassion out of theory and puts it into real life.
    And here is what we learned:

    1. True compassion is seeing what Jesus sees.

    When Jesus stepped off that boat, He didn’t see an interruption. He didn’t see a burden. He didn’t see a crowd that needed to be managed.
    He saw sheep without a shepherd. He saw souls. He saw eternity.
    And church—this is where compassion begins. Not with our opinions. Not with our politics. Not with our comfort. Not with our preferences.
    Compassion begins with spiritual vision—seeing people the way Jesus sees them.

    2. True compassion replaces our assumptions with Jesus’ heart.

    The disciples thought they were being compassionate: “Send them away, Lord. Let them get food. Let them take care of themselves.”
    But they never asked Jesus. They assumed. And assumptions kill compassion.
    We do the same. We assume we know what people deserve. We assume we know what God wants. We assume we know what will fix the problem.
    But Jesus says, “They do not need to go away.” “You give them something to eat.”
    True compassion doesn’t start with our ideas. It starts with Jesus’ heart.

    3. True compassion offers what we have to Jesus and trusts Him to multiply it.

    The disciples looked at their hands and said, “We only have…”
    Five loaves. Two fish. Not enough.
    And Jesus said, “Bring them here to me.”
    Church, this is the turning point of compassion. Not when we have enough. Not when we feel enough. Not when we understand enough. Not when we fix enough.
    But when we bring what we have— our time, our tears, our prayers, our resources, our broken hearts— and place them in the hands of Jesus.
    Because in our hands, it’s never enough. But in His hands, it becomes more than enough.

    So what is true compassion?

    Let me answer the question plainly:
    True compassion is seeing people through the eyes of Jesus, surrendering our assumptions, and offering what we have to Him so He can do what only He can do.
    True compassion is not sentiment. It’s not convenience. It’s not tolerance. It’s not agreement. It’s not withdrawal. It’s not self‑protection.
    True compassion is the heart of Jesus expressed through the hands of His disciples.
    And church—this is where discipleship becomes real. This is where the kingdom moves from theory to life. This is where the Holy Spirit begins to meddle with our hearts. This is where sanctification takes root. This is where we stop wearing Jesus down to our image and let Him wear us down into His.
    This is where we become a church that truly lives our vision:
    “To reach the world for Jesus, one person at a time.”
    Not with lectures. Not with arguments. Not with assumptions. But with compassion— the compassion of Jesus Christ flowing through us.
    May God give us His eyes. May God give us His heart. May God give us the courage to bring our loaves and fish to Him. And may the world be fed—not by our strength, but by His compassion working through us.
    We must see as He sees
    Realize we are truly insufficient
    He is more than sufficient

  • Sermon

    Key Passage

    Matthew 18:15–35 NIV
    “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

    Introduction

    Today we are talking about some of the most relevant topics that we as humans deal with.
    Whether you are a Christian or not, every single one of us has to deal with relational hurt in our lives.
    Revelation 21:3–4 NIV
    And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
    I want to start by reading this passage and saying, there will be a day that there will be no more death, or mourning, or crying or pain.
    The ways of this world will pass away and God will make everything new.
    Praise God for that hope.
    But until then, what can we conclude. We are living in the old order of things. The world that has death, mourning, crying and pain.
    Why do these things hurt?
    It is because God has made us relational people.
    Death hurts because someone we love has passed away. The curse of sin in this world is not just spiritual death, but also physical death.
    Sin breaks relationship. I would venture to guess that almost every tear you have shed in life have to do with broken relationships at some point.
    Broken relationships come in almost every form.
    Broken relationships with parents (abuse, neglect, trauma)
    Broken relationships with a spouse
    Broken relationships with friends
    Broken relationships with other believers or even the church
    The result of sin in this world is broken relationships.
    Mourning, crying and pain.
    There is something about the coming Kingdom that God will put all of this to an end and it will be replaced with something else.
    Now I want you to see this: Does He replace all of the pain, suffering and brokenness in our world with new relational strategies and tactics?
    Does God have a “How to do Marriage Right” book in Heaven that He is withholding and will send it down to the publishers office and say, “Now that I have conquered Satan, I’ll show you the real techniques for relationship.”?
    No.
    Revelation 21:3 gives us the reason for the removal of death, pain, brokenness and suffering.
    It is the presence of the Almighty God with His people.
    Here is the thing, that day is coming, and I pray that His Kingdom would come quickly.
    But until then, we live in the old order of things.
    This is a world that is under the influence of the evil one, Satan.
    Jesus calls him the “little g” god of this world.
    Satan is an enemy that wants to kill, steal and destroy the work of God and the people of God in this world.
    Relationship is at the very core of that battle
    Here is our place in Human history:
    We live in a broken world.
    Those of us who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ are a part of the Kingdom of Heaven
    Heaven awaits us.
    But before we meet Heaven, we live as citizen of one Kingdom while being present in another.
    We are strangers, foreigners and illegal aliens in this world.
    We are here, but this is not our home.
    Together, as a group from this other Kingdom, we are called the “church”.
    This is what Jesus has been telling His disciples in the passages leading up to Matthew 18.
    Jesus is establishing His Kingdom on the earth and He calls it the church.
    His church is called to a mission: to go to battle against the enemy of this world and set the captives free that He is holding.
    Jesus Himself is going to come to this Kingdom to point His church in the right direction and die so that the church has a doorway into the Eternal Kingdom.
    In the passage before this, Jesus said that we must have the humility of a child if we are to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
    The humility of a child is something that we seriously overlook in our world and in our culture.
    What is the humility of a child?
    It is the recognition that you are not the parent.
    You cannot provide, protect or care for yourself.
    You are completely dependent on your parent.
    You are loved by your parent
    You are not alone in this world because you have your parent.
    There is a confidence that a child has as they walk through the world, knowing they have a parent.
    That is why parenting is so important. You are creating the framework for your children to understand God.
    He will build His church
    We must be humble like kids with a parent
    It is all about Him.
    What Jesus goes to in our passage today is how do we live out sinful and broken relationships in this world as parts of the church?
    How do we process our pain?
    How do we live with the mourning, crying and pain of this world.
    All of us have things things.
    Many of us in this room are part of the Kingdom of Heaven
    We are at the crossroads of the idea of the Goodness of God, but every day we don’t just observe, we feel the pain of this world.
    We feel it because the sin and results of relational sin have knifed their way into our hearts.
    How do we live out the principles of the Kingdom of Heaven that is coming with no more death, suffering or pain in the world in which our stupid alarm clock is going to go off tomorrow and the chaos will begin?
    That is what this passage is about.

    Teaching

    Matthew 18:15 NIV
    “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
    I want to break this verse down so we know what it is saying.
    First, this is between you and a brother or sister.
    What do they mean by “brother or sister”?
    This is a fellow member of the Kingdom of Heaven. A person who is saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus
    Second, this is a passage regarding sin.
    If that person sins, the implication here (and some versions say this) is that the result of their sin impacts you.
    They lie to you, they harm you, they steal from you, their anger boils over onto you.
    These are important qualifications
    If you are trying to address an issue of sin with a person who is not a believer, it won’t matter much to them. This passage is about building and restoration within the Kingdom.
    If someone is not in the Kingdom, the restoration they need is not between you and them. It is between them and God.
    Also, if you are trying to use this passage to deal with a non-sin issue between believers, it is also going to break down.
    If you are dealing with an offense or a misunderstanding, or something that is not sin, it needs to be dealt with.
    But as you play this out to its Matthew 18 conclusion, as an elder, I am not going to engage our leadership into this level of conflict resolution over someone being offended.
    We must make every effort to live at peace with one another.
    But this passage is clear that it is resolution of sin issues between believers.
    Go point out their fault just between the two of you and hopefully you can win them over.
    This is where I want to draw our first point for today.

    Kingdom People Seek Reconciliation with God

    When we see that phrase, “You have won them over” I think some of us see “You have won”
    Let’s read the rest of this passage:
    Matthew 18:15–17 NIV
    “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
    If someone is in sin, it has impacts on relationship.
    But I want us to see the reconciliation that is desired here. It is reconciliation to God.
    This is the point of the word “sin”. This is why it is not just about offense, but rather sin.
    In Psalm 51 after David sins by cheating on his wife with Bathsheba and then has Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband killed, David confesses his sin before God and says, “Against you alone have I sinned.”
    What? Against God alone has David sinned? I stand here and say, No, he also sinned against his wife. He sinned against Bathsheba. He sinned against Uriah. He sinned against his nation.
    Even in our own lives, we often hold this view that sin is against us.
    As a police officer and now as a pastor, I have seen and heard horrible things that humans have done to other humans.
    Abuse, violence, neglect, even murder.
    I would struggle saying, “The violator is not sinning against his victims.”
    But that is what David is saying in Psalm 51.
    Let me play this reality out.
    God is the standard for right and wrong, not us.
    We were created by God and for God and we are made to reflect the glory of God through God’s creation.
    When we sin, we are violating God’s law and God’s design for His creation.
    The results of this violation wrecks havoc on the rest of God’s creation and other people.
    Who you are before God is who you are before others
    How you view God is how you will treat others.
    If David had God in His eyes at that moment, He would not have violated God’s design for David.
    David’s sin was against God’s holiness and it impacted Bathsheba greatly.
    The sin that has been committed by others that impacts you has to be reframed in our eyes.
    It is a violation of God that impacts me.
    When we read this passage, God is saying, “Do everything in your power to reconcile people to me.”
    Bring their sin to their attention, so they will more closely follow me.
    We don’t win them over to our side of thinking.
    We are both fighting to be won over to the truth of God and His holiness.
    2 Corinthians 5:18–20 NIV
    All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.
    God desires unity within His church, but that unity is based on our collective submission to His authority.
    Unity is not conformity with one another, it is humility before Christ.
    We do this because we love one another. It isn’t for our benefit. It is for their Kingdom witness.
    We go to them one on one to eliminate pride.
    This is relational and personal. But even though you are one on one, it includes God as the aligning point between both parties.
    The unstated, but clear picture are two sinful people using the word of God as the aligning piece of their lives.
    If there is not repentance.
    What is repentance? It is aligning my life to the truth. Not to another person’s opinion. Rather to the truth of the Word of God.
    Go with 2 or 3 people
    This isn’t to gang up. This is to bring correction to both sides. If one side is wrong about the sin, then may they be corrected.
    But of the offending party is in sin, they need to see that the sin in their life is having an impact on the Kingdom and needs to be dealt with.
    We want to see people growing in their relationship with God.
    If they don’t repent BEFORE GOD!!! Then bring them to the church
    Bring them before the authority God has given to the church
    If this person is still not repentant and all of the Godly people addressing sin, then it is clearly not an issue of God. It isn’t an issue of His law. And it isn’t an issue of the people bringing the standard of holiness. It is an issue of the heart of that person.
    Cast them out and treat them as a pagan or tax collector.
    Jesus had former pagans and tax collectors as his disciples. Jesus often ate with sinners and tax collectors.
    The reason these people were outcasts was because of their sin. When Jesus would eat with them, He would show His love to them.
    But their response had to be repentance.
    If the sinners and tax collectors never repented, Hell was still their destination.
    They were loved, but unrepentant.
    Repentance and reconciliation with God is the target of believers.
    One last thing. We are not the judges of everyone’s sin around us.
    We are not God. Allow the Holy Spirit to be the Holy Spirit in people’s lives. But when we see division or an impact in the church, whether it be unity or conflict, sin must be addressed in order to have the church look like the Kingdom of Heaven as much as we possibly can.
    Matthew 18:18–20 NIV
    “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
    Jesus concludes this last statement with a statement of authority within the church.
    A few weeks ago, when Jesus said, “On this rock I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”
    Jesus followed that up by saying this exact same thing. What is bound on earth will be bound in heaven and what is loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven.
    Now, there are all sorts of people who will clip this passage out of the Bible and use the passages for their own ideas.
    Even with good intent!
    Look at the first verse out of context.
    It feels like I have the authority to dictate the terms of this world by binding or loosing whatever I want.
    Look at the second verse out of context
    If a buddy of mine and myself ask God for a Vikings Super Bowl this season (Let’s Go Teal!!!), then God has to do it!
    Entire theologies and churches are built on this idea.
    Look at the third verse out of context
    We often see this as a verse about prayer. If there are two or three of us together, then God gives a little extra credit to our prayers and he may respond differently because we have two or three people.
    If it is just you. Jesus ain’t there
    If ol’ Skippy walks into your prayer meeting when you have three people and now your group is four, Jesus isn’t going to leave as well.
    We need to look at these passages and ask, “Why are they here and what are they saying?”

    Kingdom People Submit to Kingdom Authority

    Let’s begin our interpretive journey by looking at what we just talked about.
    The church is the Eternal Kingdom of God on this Temporary Earth.
    We are in the middle of the battlefield and it is our job to get each other and the world around us to keep our eyes on King Jesus.
    When some of us in the church start looking sideways and getting distracted, we need each other to slap us on the head and say, “Keep looking at Jesus. Keep growing in Jesus.”
    We have to say, “Oh yeah. Thanks for the reminder! “
    If we don’t and say, “Ow, you slapped my head too hard, now because you reminded me to look at Jesus, I’m going to be mad at you” Then we need to work together to get that person to look at Jesus.
    Jesus then points to the church.
    The two or three that we bring to point someone to Jesus have value.
    This isn’t a value of creating factions within the church.
    This is a value of a plurality of maturing people who know their sin helping another person draw closer to Jesus and further from this world.
    They are exercising their ministry of reconciliation.
    Jesus says, “There is authority in the church”
    Humble, loving and holy outside perspectives on our lives are necessary. They help us see through the lies we believe about our own lives. This is Biblical accountability.
    If disciples of Jesus who are following Jesus identify something as sin in someone’s life, it is as if God were speaking into their lives.
    There are four ways God will speak into your life and I want to give them to you in order:
    First, through Scripture— God will never contradict His word
    Second, through prayer— God will speak when we are silent enough to listen
    Third, through the church— God will speak through the holy and mature people around us if we are humble enough to listen.
    Lastly, through our circumstances— Sometimes we try to put this one first
    I’m wandering around looking for open doors. I find one, then I ask the people in church if they think this is the right idea.
    Of course they don’t know.
    So I pray. God doesn’t seem to listen, so I go read the Bible and it is talkin about other things.
    So I’m left at the end of the road not knowing what to do.
    We can’t do these backwards.
    Be in the Word, always
    Pray Continually about all of your circumstances
    Allow the Body of Christ to bring correction and admonition into your life
    Then look at your circumstances.
    God uses the Holy Spirit through His church to bring correction to us.
    Maturity
    I just want to take a moment and look at the topic of maturity right now.
    Maturity is something that I believe we mis-define within the church.
    Maturity is often seen as knowing all sorts of theologies.
    If I join a Bible study that teaches the Greek and Hebrew and deep theology, I will mature.
    No you won’t. You might get smarter, but that does not mean you will mature.
    Maturity is seen by your surrender to Jesus, your humility within the church, and your love for one another.
    Maturity is becoming Christlike.
    Standing on the truth, while loving one another
    Easy to say. Hard to do.
    If your life has the flurry of conflict and chaos around you. If you find yourself often at odds with others, there is likely an issue of immaturity in your heart that needs to be dealt with.
    Outside of the church— Dealing with hurt in our lives
    The first part of our passage today has to do with dealing with sin within the church.
    But as we all know, there is sin within the church and that accounts for some of our struggles in this life, but if we were to put a percentage on it, it is really a small number.
    When we talk about forgiveness, this one stretches across every relationship we have.
    Within the church, in all issues of conflict we are to keep our eyes and definitions on Jesus
    Matthew 18:21–22 NIV
    Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
    I think Peter is hearing Jesus talk about reconciliation within the church and like many of us, he has an issue that he is thinking about.
    You know, there is a person who has done me wrong. I forgave them, but they kept at it.
    I’ve done a really good job Jesus. I’ve forgiven 7 times. How many more is reasonable?
    Jesus says, “Not seven times, but seventy seven times”
    Some of your translations say, seventy times seven.
    It doesn’t matter because the number is not the point.
    A few weeks ago, Jason talked about the word “hyperbole”
    This is exaggerating something to make a point.
    Jesus says, “Forgive significantly more than you have already forgiven.”
    Some of us like to keep an account of the score on our forgiveness.
    I’ve forgiven one too many times. I’m not going to forgive any longer.
    Peter was counting his forgiveness. Jesus gives us the heart of forgiveness.
    Jesus tells a story to talk about forgiveness
    Matthew 18:23–35 NIV
    “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
    I love that Jesus goes to the topic of forgiveness and talks about money.
    We all understand money and the debt that money causes when we misuse it.
    Jesus is making the same point here that sin against God can cause a deficit between each other.
    Not a deficit of money, but rather a deficit of justice.
    We understand the idea from money. We feel the concept from relational debt.
    Jesus tells a story about a man who owes a king a significant amount of money. Way more money than he could ever repay in his lifetime.
    The king had the right to get his money back so he rightly orders this man and his family to be thrown into debtors prison.
    This was the right of the king in this time.
    I think about the family. Jesus didn’t have to mention the family in this story but he did.
    Have you ever suffered the consequences of someone else's sin?
    The man begs for mercy and the king cancels his debt.
    The guy had to be feeling pretty good at this point.
    He leaves the palace of the king walking on a cloud and sees a guy who owes him $50.
    He goes and he chokes the guy out demanding his money.
    They guy asks for mercy, but this servant says, “No, you need to go to debtors prison and work off what you owe me.”
    Some of the other servants heard about this and went to tell the king.
    That guy that was forgiven a ton, just choked a guy out for $50.
    The king got angry and said, “Shouldn’t you have been merciful? You had been shown mercy.”
    So the king threw him in prison until he could repay his debt.
    Then Jesus says, “This is how it will be for anyone who does not forgive one another from your heart.”
    Does Jesus take forgiveness seriously?
    If you are waiting for a deep teaching about forgiveness and some good tactics and ideas to help forgiveness in your life, I don’t know what to say except that Jesus is very serious about forgiveness.
    There isn’t an excuse. There isn’t a qualifier.
    The point of this story is that we must know the sin we have been forgiven of.
    We have been forgiven by Jesus for all of the sin we have committed in our lives.
    All of that sin compiled makes for a lifetime separated from Him and an eternal destination of hell.
    There is no way we could work off the debt of sin in our lives, so Jesus forgave it with the sacrifice He made in my place at the cross.
    When people sin against God and the consequences of their sin impact our lives, we have to know that we are not the judge of eternity.
    I don’t mean to minimize the hurt and pain in your life, but Jesus makes this point really simple for us.
    Their sin will either be paid for by the blood of Jesus.
    In which case they are in the same boat of redemption that we are.
    Or their sin will be paid for eternally in hell.
    Which is way worse than the grudge that I would be holding.

    Kingdom People Extend the Kings Mercy

    We hold the power in our lives of forgiving others and allowing the Kingdom of Heaven to rule in our lives or the Kingdom of Hell to rule in our lives.
    Jesus clearly never messes around when he talks about forgiveness. Most of His verses about forgiveness make many of us squirm in our theologies.
    Jesus makes these points really strong.
    Heaven is where everyone is forgiven
    Hell is where no one is forgiven
    When we choose to forgive, then we are allowing the Kingdom of Heaven to bear fruit in our lives
    When we choose not to forgive, then we are allowing the kingdom of hell to bear fruit in our lives.
    To highlight this point let’s read this verse and see which one aligns with which kingdom:
    Galatians 5:19–23 NIV
    The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
    Forgiveness is recognizing their sin and the impact on our lives. Then recognizing that the punishment for that sin is either already paid or will be paid.
    I cannot allow their sin to control my heart, my mind and my life.
    Forgiveness is not reconciliation.
    God calls us to reconciliation with Him, but reconciliation between one another is not always possible.
    He desires unity, but we cannot be BFF’s with everyone within the body. There are some people we will be close with and some people we will not be close with. We must be unified, and full of grace, but also guard our hearts.
    Proverbs talks about three kinds of people:
    Wise man- We need wise people in our lives. We should reconcile with this person. Even if they have sinned, we need Godly wise people in our lives.
    Foolish man- Question mark. We need to recognize that some people are still maturing, some people we may need to reconcile with because of our circumstances. Kids, neighbors, co-workers, etc. But the reality is that with a foolish person, we will likely be at the forgiveness crossroads again and possibly often.
    Wicked man- Reconciliation is not wise with a wicked man. A person who keeps council with wicked men will soon find himself in wickedness.
    Psalm 51:4 NIV
    Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.
    David is saying this on the heels of sleeping with his friend’s wife, then having his friend killed to cover it up.
    It seems like a pretty rotten thing to say that he had not sinned against his friend or his friend’s wife.
    But listen to what David is saying.
    Sin is something that is done contrary to the Holiness of God.
    The world around us suffers the consequence of sin.
    When we recognize the truth about sin. We discover that what has been done to me and what I have done to others was done in rebellion to God’s created order and His holiness.
    It is not my holiness that was sinned against. I am unholy, just like you.
    So who has the just right to judge and declare a verdict?
    God does. It is His creation, His justice, His holiness that are in question. I am the hurt party, but it is God’s nature that was violated.
    Forgiveness is:
    Trusting God’s judgment, and not my own
    Recognizing that I am a sinner against God as well as the person who harmed me
    Understanding that the wages of their sin AND my sin is death
    Embracing the Gospel in forgiveness
    Meditating on God’s mercy not my pain
    Trusting God’s judgment, and not my own
    God is right when He judges. When I determine the guilt of another, I may be right or wrong. But that does not matter. It is God’s judgement that matters.
    Recognizing that I am a sinner against God as well as the person who harmed me
    Their sin that impacted me is the same sin that I commit that impacts others
    Understanding that the wages of their sin AND my sin is death
    Their sin and my sin are both payable by death
    We often use grudges, anger, hatred, and malicious words as the wages of other people’s sin.
    But the actual wages of sin is death.
    It may seem harsh, but their only hope for the commitment of their sin that impacted you is Jesus Christ.
    Embracing the Gospel in forgiveness
    The Gospel is the only hope for mankind.
    Meditating on God’s mercy, not my pain
    I use the word meditate here because we tend to meditate on our pain because we feel it. But when we meditate on what has happened to us, we will continually live in a forgive/unforgive cycle.
    When we set our eyes on Jesus, He helps set our hearts free.
    It boils down to two kinds of love and I believe we struggle in understanding this in forgiveness.
    Agape- Love based on identity
    Phileo- Love based on action
    Colossians 3:14 NIV
    And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
    This is the word, “Agape”.
    It is choosing to trust God in His judgment. If I choose not to forgive, then I am choosing to act as God in my life and in theirs.
    Judgment is mine.
    If we continue to act as if all we are called to be is Phileo love in the church, then we have every right to hold grudges.
    But Jesus calls us to Agape love.
    In this, we can love and still hurt.
    In this, we can love and still protect.
    In this, we can embrace the Gospel and leave the righteous judgment to God and still celebrate the forgiveness of God.
    Phileo may never be restored based on what was done.
    But we cannot abandon the Agape love God demands because of the broken Phileo love that we experience.
    God calls us to a higher love as we follow Him.

    Conclusion

    What keeps us from reconciliation with God and forgiveness of one another?
    Pride
    Justice
    Being right
    Resisting change
    My own hurt

    1. Pride

    Pride is the earthly instinct to protect self rather than submit to the King. It blinds us to our own sin and makes us resistant to correction, reconciliation, and forgiveness.
    In fact, it might be your pride screaming in your ears right now. “Just go home and process it.” Defeat your pride today. We will have some people up front following the service. Come forward and confess your heart and surrender today. You might say, “It’s uncomfortable” “Real men don’t admit that kind of weakness” Yes, they do. Lay down your pride and surrender to Jesus. Your sin is what is uncomfortable. Confess it, deal with it, grow in maturity.
    Today is the day that we take a stand for the Kingdom in our hearts.

    2. Justice (My Version)

    Earthly justice demands repayment; Kingdom justice trusts the King’s judgment. When we insist on being the judge, we lose sight of the cross where our own debt was paid.

    3. Being Right

    Earthly relationships fight for victory; Kingdom eyes fight for restoration. Being right becomes an idol when it matters more than winning a brother back to God.

    4. Resisting Change

    Earthly hearts cling to old wounds; Kingdom hearts embrace transformation. Forgiveness requires spiritual change—letting God reshape our reactions, desires, and expectations.

    5. My Own Hurt

    Earthly pain narrows our vision; Kingdom eyes lift our gaze to the King’s mercy. We acknowledge our hurt, but we refuse to let it define our obedience or our identity.

      • Matthew 18:15–35ESV

      • Revelation 21:3–4ESV

      • Matthew 18:15ESV

      • Matthew 18:15–17ESV

      • 2 Corinthians 5:18–20ESV

      • Matthew 18:18–20ESV

      • Matthew 18:21–22ESV

      • Matthew 18:23–35ESV

      • Galatians 5:19–23ESV

      • Psalm 51:4ESV

      • Colossians 3:14ESV

Real Life Selkirk
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