The Journey Church
August 24
  • Colossians 3:18–4:1 ESV
    18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. 1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
    Recap from last week
    Last week, we examined the results of the transformation that has taken place in our lives. We looked at how we have put to death the desires of the flesh and put on the righteousness of Christ. We discovered that the one thing that binds us all together as Christians is love. Not just any love but the love that has been so lavishly poured out on us by the Savior of the world. 
    Today, Paul is going to lay out the blueprint for our families to be all that God desires for them to be. 
    When Christ is Lord of our families then our homes will be built according to God’s plan and desires.
    God has built a foundational plan for the families the key is in the text is whether it is “in the Lord,” “pleases the Lord,” “fears the Lord,” or is “serving the Lord.”
    The Foundation we are Building On
    Perhaps one of Jesus’s most recognizable parables is the one he used to conclude one of the most recognizable sermons, the Sermon on the Mount.
    Jesus describes the foundation that he desires for all of His followers in Christ. (Matthew 7:24-27) He summarized his message and the importance of obeying his instructions by contrasting the wise and foolish builders. Possibly one of the most overlooked aspects of Jesus parable is what each of the builders were constructing. They were building a home.
    While obviously Jesus was describing the necessity of having a strong foundation for life that gains its stability from the word on which it's built, it's not being built on some generic structure in the community, an important government office, or even a house of worship. He was pointing towards the home, which is one of the most important and recognizable structures in a community. 
    It is a home to the family, protects that which is most cherished, serves as a place of personal rest and private refuge, and is the base of operations for everything else. Each “house” is equated to its respective builder and serves as the physical domain that essentially represents all of life.
    We live in a world and culture today where the home is constantly shifting, moving, and being fractured.  
    Just as it was for the builders in Jesus' parable, so it is with the homes we are building today. Not necessarily the physical structure, but everything it represents. And to Jesus' point, an attempt to build it on anything other than his word is futile and pointless. 
    Because everyone is going to experience the storms of life, from every direction, wind, rain, floods.
    Our ability to persevere and withstand these catastrophic events is contingent on what foundation we have built our house on, and where our strength comes from when the storms rage against our homes. 
    When Christ is the Lord of my family, my wife and I can build our home according to God’s design and desire. In this passage God provides the blueprint and gives us the necessary steps to build a home according to his plan.
    The problem in our homes and culture today is that we attempt to build our homes on our blueprint and then invite the Lord into our design.

    1. We Must Dedicate Our Homes to the Lord

    Illustration: The Chair of Control
    Imagine your life as a room with a single chair in the center. That chair represents control—who calls the shots, who decides what’s right, what direction to take, and what values to live by.
    For most of us, we sit in that chair by default. We decide what’s best for ourselves. Even when we invite Jesus into the room, we often want Him close by but not on the chair. We might ask for His advice, want His blessings, and even sing songs about how wonderful He is—but we’re still the ones seated in control.
    But submitting to the Lordship of Christ means getting up from the chair, handing over the seat to Jesus, and saying,
    “You lead. You rule. I’ll follow—even when I don’t understand, even when it costs me, even when it goes against what I want.”
    It’s a daily choice to say, “Not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). It’s not just letting Him into the room of your life—it’s letting Him take the throne.
    God establishes the family according to His order and plan. The family was not our idea from the beginning it was ordained and instituted by God in Genesis 2:18-25 the problem is that our society has moved so far away from God’s blueprint that our homes look very little like God’s intended plan.
    His plan for husbands and wives reflects the covenant relationship that the Lord has with His people.
    God’s Plan vs. Man’s plan
    God’s plan was one of intimacy, pro-creation, and unity.
    This is a Godly heritage that was intended to be cultivated within a monogamous relationship between one husband and one wife till death do us part. But, when sin entered the world the family unity was forever fractured under the weight of self-gratification, lies, and shame.
    The relationship between husbands and wives became strained, the covenant concept that marriage was intended to display became distorted, and the spiritual component of the home became contaminated.
    But, through the redemptive power of Christ God has provided a way for our homes to be redeemed.
    Some of you here this morning need your homes to be redeemed. Perhaps it is from past sin’s and failings of the parents; or present disunity and destructive actions that have led to catastrophic results.
    Paul now explains how our immediate families can be redeemed through Him.

    (a) We submit to His Lordship

    The word "submit" in Scripture has become a byword or a bad word in many Christian homes. 
    Illustration: The Umbrella of Protection
    Imagine a heavy rainstorm. The wind is blowing hard, and the rain is falling relentlessly. You’re outside without shelter—but someone hands you a large, sturdy umbrella. It doesn’t stop the storm, but under it, you’re protected. The umbrella doesn't represent weakness—it’s your safety, your covering.
    In Scripture, submission works like that umbrella. It’s not about being inferior or powerless. It’s about placing yourself under God’s ordained structure—whether that’s His Word, Christ’s leadership, or godly authority like in a family or church. The covering isn’t there to oppress but to protect, guide, and bless.
    Christ submitted to the Father (Luke 22:42): “Not my will, but yours be done.”
    Believers submit to Christ as the Head of the Church (Ephesians 5:24).
    Wives submit to husbands as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22–24), not because they are less, but to reflect Christ and the Church.
    Husbands also submit to God in their role, loving sacrificially like Christ loved the Church.
    When we step outside that umbrella, we’re exposed—just like stepping out in the rain. But when we stay under God’s structure, we find safety, peace, and blessing, even in the storm.
    Unless the Lord builds the house it’s labors, labor over it in vein. (Psalm 127:1)
    For the Lord to build our homes we must establish it under His authority, under His blueprint.
    PRACTICALLY SPEAKING: Every aspect of our homes must be offered in submission to the Lord.
    Relationships - Routines - Values - Possessions

    (1). Making Christ the Center of your Home.

    Is Prayer and Scripture grafted into the normal rhythm of your home?
    Are decisions big or small made seeking God’s will and plan?
    What is the atmosphere of your home? (is it peace, love, forgiveness, and grace?)

    (2). Discipling Within the Walls

    Parents are spiritual leaders, not just caregivers or providers.
    Children are taught to love and obey, not just obey well.
    Family culture incorporates repentance, reconciliation, worship, and biblical truth.

    (3). Letting Go

    Submission means saying: “God, this home is yours. Interrupt our plans. Use our space. Shift our schedule. Teach us through inconvenience.”
    It may mean rearranging routines, inviting people in, or letting go of perfection.
    (when do we make excuses for not showing spiritual leadership in our homes, because it is difficult, or not convenient, or uncomfortable. We make excuses for not having our families in community with the church, or having regular bible study and prayer in our homes)
    “as is fitting to the Lord”
    Notice that the word Lord is used 6 times throughout our text (3:18, 20, 22, 23, 24; 4:1 [“Master”]), and each of the relationships includes at least one reference to him. This clearly identifies Christ as the ultimate leader of our families. But while most believers would acknowledge his authority, we often struggle with the practical implications of this for each of our roles.
    First, submitting to his leadership at home means that he assigns specific roles to us. 
    The roles of husbands, wives, and children were all originally established by God and for God’s glory. Even though these roles are distinct in God’s blueprint for the family they all have equal value before God, and all of their particular functions are vital within God’s infinite design and plan.
    “Submitting to the Lord means that our roles are ultimately accountable to Him.”
    But our responsibility and faithfulness are not contingent on their obedience.
    In other words, a wife’s unwilling spirit does not negate a husband’s responsibility to love her and not be harsh. Likewise, a wife’s devotion to her husband cannot be determined based on his level of commitment to love her well. Similarly, children’s submission to their parents is not optional.

    (b) We Serve with His Love

    The overarching disposition of everyone of His servants is “Love.” John 13:35
    John 13:35 ESV
    35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    While the overarching mission of every follower of Christ is Service. The questions we should all ask in relation to our families is: How can I faithfully love and serve you today?
    Apart from love, even our best efforts are most checked boxes fail to meet God’s intention or design for the family.
    The redeeming love that transforms our hearts must be evident through our kind interaction with one another and in the duties we willingly perform for our families. The selfless love that we share as a family allows it to flourish; it will enable us to have harmony and peace in our homes. 

    2. We Must Dwell Together in Harmony

    We were meant to share and provide some of the greatest avenues of harmony and happiness we are made to enjoy.
    What does it look like to Dwell with Harmony in the Lord?

    (a). Wives Should Respectfully Lift up their Husbands

    When God instituted the first and closest of all human relationships in the Bible He said that it was not good for man to be alone and therefore He created Him a helper suitable for Him. He provided Adam with Eve and brought her to Him as His wife.
    This original design provides God’s good design and intention for marriage. The word submit has historically been misunderstood and interpreted in our culture today as misogynistic and outdated.
    They believe the term 'sanctions abuse' or use it to justify dismissing Scripture as culturally confined or outdated. Others have taken on the term as a license for authoritarian leadership at home, demanding obedient servitude from the wife. Both of these extreme views completely misinterpret the meaning. 
    This is Where:

    Hyper-Individualism Clashes with God’s Design

    Western culture, in particular, places a strong emphasis on autonomy, personal freedom, and self-expression. The idea of yielding to another’s leadership or following a higher authority is seen as oppressive or outdated.
    Truth: In God's kingdom, freedom comes through surrender, not resistance. True life is found in laying down our rights, just as Jesus taught:
    “Whoever wants to be first must be last, and the servant of all.” — Mark 9:35
    The term submit is not a term that subordinates the wife to lesser in being, quality, or worth.
    Practically speaking wives who choose not to lovingly submit to their husbands also fail to lovingly submit to God.
    Philippians 2:5–8 ESV
    5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
    Note: If the Son is simultaneously equal with the Father and submissive to the Father, then equality and submissiveness can co-exist also in human relationships.
    The Enemy and Submission
    Satan's deception in the Fall (Genesis 3) deeply distorted humanity’s understanding of submission, both to God and within human relationships. Here’s how:
    (1) Satan Presented Submission as a Loss of Freedom
    In Genesis 3:1-5, Satan questioned God's command, subtly suggesting that obedience to God was restrictive:
    “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1)
    He framed God’s authority as oppressive, not loving.
    He implied that true freedom and fulfillment come from breaking free of God's rule — essentially saying, “God is holding out on you.”
    This resulted in humanity seeing submission to God not as trust and safety, but as limitation and bondage.
    (2) Satan Encourages Autonomy over Trust
    Satan’s temptation in Genesis 3:5 is that you will be like God
    “He enticed Adam and Eve with Self-Rule instead of God’s rule. The idea that they could determine what is good and right for themselves.
    Submission became associated with inferiority, and pride replaced humility. This fostered a spirit of rebellion and self-sovereignty.
    (3) The fall Corrupted Human Relationships
    Before the fall human relationships were marked by mutual honor and respect. After the fall human relationships were marked by a broken dynamic that would plague marriages. Genesis 3:16
    Genesis 3:16 ESV
    16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”
    Notice that this was not a command but a consequence - submission was now tainted by struggle for control, dominance and resentment.
    (4) The Gospel Reclaims Submission
    In Christ, submission is redeemed and redefined. It's modeled after Jesus Himself:
    “He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death…” (Philippians 2:8)
    Biblical submission is not about inferiority but about trust, love, and order — both in our relationship with God and with one another (Ephesians 5:21).

    (b). Husbands Should Sacrificially Love their Wives

    The role of husbands here is commanded to love our wives. The complementary verse is Ephesians 5:25 explains the depth and extent of our love towards our wives.
    A husband must be willing to set aside his own desires, needs, and wants for the sake of His wife. What are you willing to sacrifice?
    Your Wife is a Gift from God
    Gentlemen, when you see your wife, do you see her as a gift from God? It was God who brought the woman to man and gave her to him to Love, Honor, and cherish, until death do us part. Husbands are responsible for the emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of their wives.
    You must be devoted to caring for them and promoting their spiritual growth and sanctification. If your wife is not spiritually growing in her relationship to Christ, that is on you, gentlemen. Ephesians 5:26-29
    Ephesians 5:26–29 ESV
    26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
    Several years ago, I was convicted that I was not completely fulfilling this command in my wife. I began to challenge my wife with memorizing scripture together. We are currently working on the challenge to memorize the top 100 verses that Christians should know.
    I challenge and encourage all men here to be bathing their wives in the word of Christ. How many conversations have you had with your wife on scripture this week? How often do you share with your wife deep spiritual things? That is on you men, you will all be held accountable to God.
    “do not be harsh with your wives”
    When a husband faithfully loves his wife he will not be bitter towards her.
    This practical description of the appropriate treatment also forbids demeaning leadership that takes advantage of a wife’s willing submission

    (c). Children Should Humbly Listen to Their Parents

    The instruction in this verse is directed to those who are young and continue to live under the supervision and provision of their earthly parents.
    Notice that the instruction is for Children to obey their parents in everything.
    Disobedient children are one of the more disagreeable and alarming signs of decay in a Christian culture.
    It means that biblical sanity is on the way out, and it is particularly distressing when propagated in the name of kindness and progress. No wonder that sensible Dr Spock had second thoughts!
    (1) Obedience honors God’s design for the family.
    Paul affirms the biblical structure where parents have been given the God-ordained role of nurturing, guiding, and disciplining their children (see also Ephesians 6:1-4). Children are told to obey because:
    a. It's part of learning respect, trust, and submission to God’s authority.
    b. It creates order, protection, and harmony in the home.
    c. It prepares them for a lifetime of walking under God’s authority.
    “in everything”
    It can cause some difficulty, however, it should not be that difficult. Remember all of our submissions and mandates in this passage are unto the Lord and His governance over our lives. 
    In everything means in all areas under the parents’ rightful authority
    This phrase emphasizes the comprehensive nature of obedience—it’s not selective. However, it's not absolute in the sense of violating God's commands. If a parent were to require something sinful or abusive, obedience to God must come first.
    “it pleases the Lord”
    There is nothing that brings greater pleasure to the Lord than our obedience.
    (d) Parents Should Faithfully Lead their Children
    God holds parents accountable for how they raise their children. Paul specifically discusses the relationship between fathers and their children. 
    The responsibility of children to obey their parents is intended to foster a teachable spirit that enables parents to fulfill their duties.
    Guidelines for Raising Children in a Christian Home
    First, in a home that honors Christ, parents should disciple their children.
    Your children are more likely to come to Christ because of the example you set for them. If mom and dad prioritize regular Bible study, your children will likely see it as necessary. If Mom and Dad consider regular time in corporate worship as of primary importance, then your children will probably find it important. 
    Scripture places the primary importance of spiritually raising your children on the shoulders of the parents. Ephesians 6:4 “4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
    Second, in a home that honors Christ parents should discipline their children.
    While our culture villainizes parents who admonish their children, Scripture teaches that discipline is one of the most important aspects of parental love (cf. Prov 13:24). Correction is necessary as children learn right from wrong, and it teaches them the reality of consequences for their sinful choices. This certainly is not a license for emotional or physical abuse by parents. We know in Hebrews 12:5-11 we are told that God disciplines those He loves.
    If you as parents lack discipline in your home and are too permissive to your children it does not show true love but, a lack of love. Parents should discipline their children in a way that fosters love, trust, and a desire to follow Him.
    Third, in a home that honors Christ, parents should not Discourage their children.
    This is an overbearing parent who frustrates or continually brings their children to the point of irritation or frustration. Practically speaking, it incorporates a legalistic standard that demands perfection, placing unreasonable expectations and constantly berating their children. 

    (e) Believers should diligently Labor for their Masters

    The final domestic relationship that we should seek harmony in is between slave’s and masters. It must be stated that Paul is in no way advocating slavery.
    Some have misunderstood his failure to condemn the institution or his refusal to endorse rebellion against it as an implicit endorsement.
    But Scripture is clear that discrimination of any kind (social, political, or racial) and inhumane treatment of others is ungodly and unacceptable. The gospel meets us in the circumstances of life, and it teaches us how to respond. Paul’s instructions for slaves and masters changed the perspective of their respective positions, focusing on their roles and responsibilities as service to the Lord

    3. We Should Display our Hearts for the Lord

    The greater principle that Paul is teaching us in this passage is that whatever we do not do it for the eyes of man (as way of eye service) but we do it for the eyes of the Lord of all creation. We do it with a complete sincerity of heart for the Lord.
    We display our hearts for the Lord not merely by outward actions, but by a life that flows from inward devotion, love, and surrender.
    (1) Consider the Difficult situations of Life
    Whenever the perfect standard of scripture meets the imperfect lives of people, tension arises that makes faith necessary and obedience difficult. 
    Therefore, we must be diligent to teach the truth of God’s word with mercy by those who have been affected by the tragedy of heartache, family dysfunction, and or marital misfortune.
    All through Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he brings us back to the redemptive nature of Christ that reconciles us to God. He meets us where we are, in desperate need of our messed-up lives. 
    (2) Consider the Difficult Seasons of Life
    Even when we desire to lead our homes in a way that honors God first and best we know that every marriage and every family will experience difficult times.
    Some seasons are notoriously difficult for families. 
    When our families experience times of emotional grief in the loss of loved ones or situational instability with a job change or relocation, the additional stress and required adjustments can be especially difficult. Additions to the family, such as new children or parental challenges with existing children and grandchildren, can also result in difficult times that require us to renew our devotion to our families and our roles and responsibilities.
    CONCLUSION
    The assumption in Jesus' parable about the wise and foolish builders is that our homes have endured a barrage of torrential rain and storms. 
    The assurance is that those who build their lives according to God’s blueprint and plan can withstand life’s onslaught when it comes their way. 
    According to Jesus, when we build our homes on the uncertain and unstable sand of the world’s principles and philosophies, our houses will collapse. Many of us have witnessed or endured the collateral damage of such tragic family downfalls. But when Christ is the architect and his Word is the foundation, our homes will be established on the immovable rock that will not allow our houses to be destroyed.
    The conclusion of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount describes the consequences of not building our lives on the foundation of His word. Earlier in His message, Jesus explains the impact that believers are intended to have on the lost world around us. The effect of the testimony we have is through transformed and changed lives. I’m sure there are many of you here this morning who can attest to how God has redeemed your marriage, how God has redeemed your children, and how God has redeemed your careers.
    We read the familiar passage about being salt and light concerning the house as an essential feature. (Matt. 5:15) The assumed use of the lamp is that it would give light to all who are in our house today. This not only affects those who live in our house, but as those in the house are forever transformed it serves as a city on a hill where the light cannot be hidden. 
    Redeemed households become beacons of light that shine the gospel to the lost world around us.

    How is Your House Shining like a beacon of light in the world?

  • Only King Forever
  • I Know A Name
  • Elohim
  • Give Us Clean Hands

      • Isaiah 6:1–4ESV

      • Isaiah 6:5–7ESV

      • Isaiah 6:8ESV

      • Isaiah 6:9–13ESV

      • Romans 9:14–16ESV

      • Ezekiel 36:26ESV

      • John 12:41ESV

The Journey Church
mark@thejourneykilleen.com
3616557125
http://www.thejourneykilleen.com
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