Connect Church
The Playbook
  • Joy (What The World Calls Foolish)
  • Firm Foundation (He Won't)
  • Holy Forever
  • Holy Holy Holy (Nicaea)
  • Way Maker
  • I’ve been blessed to build two houses in my life that Kelly and I have lived in. And the two experiences were very different.
    The first house we built was already in the process of being built when we got involved. A lot of the decisions had already been made. The plans were already in place. The foundation was there, the structure was going up, and we were able to come in and make some decisions along the way. But there were a lot of things that had already been determined before we ever got there.
    The second house was completely different. Kelly and I had the opportunity to custom plan that house. We sat down and talked through what we wanted. We looked at floor plans. We thought about the layout. We decided where we wanted rooms, how we wanted the house to function, and what was important to us.
    And if you've ever built a house, you know that building a house is a process. You don't just wake up one morning and say, "I think I'll have a house today."
    There's a plan. There's a foundation. There's a structure. There are decisions that have to be made along the way. And here's something I've learned: what you decide before the house is built matters.
    You can't wait until the walls are up to start thinking about the foundation. You can't wait until the roof is on to decide where you want the rooms. And you certainly don't want to get to the end of the process and realize you've spent all your time, money, and energy building something that isn't what you actually wanted.
    And I think that's a pretty good picture of what happens with our families. Every one of us is building something. If you're married, you're building a marriage. If you have children, you're building a family. If you're a grandparent, you're influencing another generation. And even if you're single, you're still building a life and establishing values that will influence the people around you.
    The question isn't whether we're building. The question is: What are we building, and whose plans are we following?
    Because the world has a lot of ideas about what a successful family should look like. But God has a design for the family. And that's what we're talking about today.
    Last week, we talked about The Huddle—getting on the same page. Because before a team can run the play, they've got to hear the play.
    Today we're moving from the huddle to the playbook. Because God hasn't left us guessing about how we're supposed to build our homes.
    He's given us His Word.
    And Psalm 127 begins with these words:
    Psalm 127:1 NIV
    1 Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain…
    Solomon is reminding us that we can work hard, make plans, and put in the effort—but if God isn't at the center of what we're building, we're building the wrong way.
    So today we're going to talk about The Playbook: God's Design for the Family. Because when it comes to our families, we don't just want to build a good house. We want to build a God-honoring home.
    If you have your bibles this morning, go with me to the book of Psalm. We will be reading the five verses that make up chapter 127. Go to Psalm 127 and we will begin at verse 1. But first let me give a little background.
    Psalm 127 is one of the Songs of Ascents, a collection of Psalms that Jewish worshipers would sing as they traveled to Jerusalem for worship and the major festivals. It is attributed to Solomon, which is especially interesting because Solomon was one of Israel’s greatest builders. He built the temple, his palace, and other significant structures throughout his reign. So when Solomon says, “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain,” he isn't saying that building or working hard doesn't matter. He's reminding us that our work has to be built on God's foundation. And when he uses the word “house,” he's talking about more than a physical building—it can also refer to a household or family. In other words, this Psalm reminds us that we can work hard to build a family, but ultimately, God must be the One directing the construction.
    Look at verse 1.
    Psalm 127 NIV
    A song of ascents. Of Solomon. 1 Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves. 3 Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
    If you have ever seen a playbook for a sports team, especially football, you will notice that the playbook is often full of plays. The play many times is determined by what the defence lines up in. The team can come out of the huddle with one play and then change the play at the line of scrimmage if the defence is lined up a certain way.
    As Christians, we have a playbook that has been given to us my God. It teaches us important things that each of our family needs. It teaches us about peace, love, joy, and patience. It gives us plays on how to get along with one another. It teaches us how to respect each other and how to love each other. That playbook is called the Bible and as Christian families it is important that we follow the instructions that are given to us so that we can run the play the right way, based off how God wants us to run it.
    Today, I want to give you 5 ways the playbook ministers to your family.

    1. The Playbook Tells Us Who is Building the House

    Look at verse 1 again.
    Psalm 127:1 NIV
    1 Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain…
    Every family is building something. You may not be physically building a house, but you are building something.
    The question is not whether you are building, but the question is: who is building?
    Parents are building. Grandparents are building. Husbands and wives are building. Single parents are building. Blended families are building. Every family is building a culture, an environment, and a legacy. Even our church is building something.
    Here is the thing that we have to be aware of.

    We can build a family that looks successful on the outside while completely missing God’s design on the inside.

    Think about all the blueprints that culture gives to families.
    Make sure your kids are successful. Give them everything you didn’t have. Let them find their own way. Work as much as necessary to provide. Put your kids in every activity. Give them the best education. Make sure they have every opportunity.
    And of these things are necessarily wrong. But they aren’t the ultimate blueprint. God’s Word is.
    God’s Word is the blueprint that we need to follow.
    Matthew 6:33 NIV
    33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
    Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV
    5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
    1 Chronicles 16:11 NIV
    11 Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
    Instead of thinking about what we want the family to become first. We need to go to God and see what He wants our family to become.
    There is a big difference in building a family that is successful and building a family that is faithful.
    Don’t just build a family. Build it God’s way.

    2. The Playbook Reminds Us that Effort Alone Isn’t Enough

    This psalm talks about builders, watchmen, labor, and food. These were all necessary things.
    People had to build houses. Watchmen had to watch cities. People had to work for their food. Work is important. Solomon is not criticizing hard work. However, what he is challenging is the idea that hard work by itself can guarantee success.
    Look at verse 2.
    Psalm 127:2 NIV
    2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.
    There's a warning here for families. We can become so busy building the life we want that we don't have time to actually live the life God wants. We can work overtime to provide for our kids while never having a conversation with them. We can spend money on Christian activities while never teaching our children to pray. We can take our children to church while never making Jesus part of our home. We can protect our kids physically while failing to protect their spiritual development.
    And this is where I think about the song “Cat’s in the Cradle.”
    The song tells the story of a father who is always busy. His son wants his attention, but there is always something else going on. Dad is working. Dad is busy. Dad promises that they'll spend time together later.
    And then something happens. The little boy grows up.
    Eventually, the father wants to spend time with his son, but now the son is busy. He has his own job, his own family, and his own responsibilities. And the father realizes that his son has learned the very same pattern that he had modeled for him.
    The father spent years providing for his son, but somewhere along the way, he missed the opportunity to be present with his son.
    That's a powerful reminder for us as parents.

    You can give your family everything they need materially and still fail to give them what they need most.

    Our kids need food. They need clothing. They need a roof over their heads. They need opportunities. They need protection.
    But they also need our presence.
    They need us to sit down and listen. They need us to pray with them. They need us to open God's Word with them. They need us to worship with them. They need us to teach them what it looks like to follow Jesus.
    Because here's the truth:

    Sometimes we can spend so much time building a life for our family that we don't have any time left to build our family.

    And that's exactly what Solomon is warning us about.
    The goal isn't simply to work harder. The goal isn't simply to provide more. The goal isn't simply to build a bigger house, have a better job, or give our children more opportunities.
    The goal is to build what God has called us to build.
    Because if God isn't directing the building, we can spend all our energy building something that doesn't look anything like what He intended.
    That's why we need the playbook.
    And God's playbook reminds us that our children aren't interruptions to the life we're building. They are part of the life God has entrusted us to build.
    So don't be so busy building the house that you miss the people who live in it. Don't be so busy providing for your family that you forget to be present with your family. And don't just give your children a good life. Give them a godly example of what it looks like to follow Jesus.
    And that's so important because Solomon doesn't just tell us that children need our time—he tells us where our children came from and how God wants us to see them.

    3. The Playbook Teaches Us that Children are a Gift, not a Burden

    Look at verse 3.
    Psalm 127:3 NIV
    3 Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

    That word heritage is the Hebrew word nahalah. It basically means an inheritance, possession, or something you received as an allotted portion.

    It is often used in the Old Testament for an inheritance that is given to someone, like land or property passed down within a family.
    That makes this even more meaningful. Solomon isn’t merely saying that children are a blessing. He’s saying that children are something God has entrusted to us as an inheritance or treasured possession.
    There is an important distinction here. An inheritance isn’t something you earn. It’s something you receive.
    So when Solomon says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord…”, the emphasis is on God as the giver.
    Our children aren’t simply something God has given us to manage. They are something God has entrusted us to steward.
    That changes the way we look at parenting. Children are a gift from God to us. And if my children are God’s gift, then I don’t simply ask, “what do I want my children to become?”
    I should ask, “God, what do you want me to help this child become?”
    We want our children to get good grades. We want them to play sports. We want them to succeed. We want them to have good careers. But above all of that: We want them to know Jesus.
    Because success without Jesus is ultimately empty.

    Don't just prepare your children for life. Prepare them for eternity.

    4. The Playbook Gives Us a Long-Term Game Plan

    Would you ever think of comparing children to arrows? Probably not, but Solomon does. In verse 4 he says…
    Psalm 127:4 NIV
    4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
    This is one of the most powerful images of parenting in scripture. Think about an arrow in the hands of a warrior.
    An arrow isn't designed to stay in the hand of the warrior forever. The warrior holds it. The warrior prepares it. The warrior aims it. And eventually—the warrior releases it.
    Isn’t that parenting?
    Our job isn't to hold onto our children forever. Our job is to prepare them to be released into God's purpose. That means parenting isn't just about controlling behavior. It's about developing character.
    It's about teaching them how to pray. We teach them how to read God's Word. And how to serve, forgive, and work. We teach them how to handle money. And how to treat people. How to make wise decisions. How to hear God's voice. And how to follow Jesus when Mom and Dad aren't around.

    You can't wait until your children are 18 to start preparing them for adulthood.

    The preparation happens now. Every conversation. Every correction. Every prayer. Every example. Every Sunday. Every family meal. Every act of forgiveness. You're shaping the arrow.
    And eventually, you’re going to release it.
    The goal isn’t to keep our children close forever. The goal is to prepare them to go where God sends them.
    And that brings me to my final point here today.

    5. The Playbook Reminds Us that Our Families Greatest win is Legacy

    Verse 5 ends this psalm by talking about children who bring honor to their family.
    When you think about this, it is a bigger picture than just the present moment. God is thinking generationally.
    That is something that we don’t often do. When we think about our children, we think in the now. We think, “what does my family need today?”
    God is also asking, “What are you building that will affect the generations that come after you?”
    Your children are watching how you handle conflict. They're watching how you treat people. They're watching what happens when you're disappointed. They're watching how you respond when you fail. They're watching whether church is important to you. They're watching whether prayer is real. They're watching whether your faith works on Monday morning.
    And whether we realize it or not:

    We are writing a playbook that our children will read.

    They may not remember every sermon you preached. They may not remember every family vacation. They may not remember every Christmas present. But they will remember what kind of faith they saw lived out at home.
    So, don’t deviate from the playbook. The playbook is what gives you the plan for generations to come.
    And just like every football team has a playbook. The coach doesn't give the players a playbook because he wants to make the game harder. God isn’t giving you the playbook to make the game harder.
    He gives them a playbook because he knows what it takes to win. And God has given us a playbook for our families. It's called His Word. And it’s because he knows what it takes to win.
    We don't have to figure out marriage on our own. We don't have to figure out parenting on our own. We don't have to figure out how to build a godly home on our own.
    God has already given us the playbook.
    The question is will we run the plays?
    Because knowing God's design isn't enough.
    We've got to put the playbook into practice.
    This morning, I want you to understand that I know parenting is hard. I’m working on my second teenager. Believe me I know it is hard. But if you will do your best to follow the playbook the way God designed it to be, then I believe that you will win this game that we call life.
    Let’s pray.

      • Psalm 127:1NIV2011

      • Psalm 127NIV2011

      • Psalm 127:1NIV2011

      • Matthew 6:33NIV2011

      • Proverbs 3:5–6NIV2011

      • 1 Chronicles 16:11NIV2011

      • Psalm 127:2NIV2011

      • Psalm 127:3NIV2011

      • Psalm 127:4NIV2011

  • Build My Life

      • Job 1:21NIV2011

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