- Come, Thou Almighty King
- O Sing My Soul
- Speak, O Lord
- Matthew 5:27-30Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations 3334 Only Relatives Marry?
3334 Only Relatives Marry?
The Douglas County News of Castle Rock, Colorado, carried the story of a proposal by an 8-year-old, who when he asked his little girlfriend to marry him was turned down on the grounds that in her family only relatives married.
When he demanded an explanation she said, “If you and me were relatives we could get married, but we are not. In my family my daddy married my mother. My grandfather married my grandmother, and my uncles are all married to my aunts. So you see, we can’t get married, cause we’re not relatives.”
—Evangelistic Illustration
Marriage is exceedingly precious in the sight of God who created marriage, blessed it and sanctified it to be held in honor by all. Today, that is not small feat. Marriage has been and continues to be under assault from the enemy who perverts what God has created for good, and turns it into something that is not good for humanity/creation. Satan has tried to reinvent marriage to be anything other than b/t 1 man and 1 woman. That’s how God defines it and the Lord safeguards that blessed union in Mt 19Matthew 19:6 NASB95 “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”In His SM, Jesus is going to address issues that attack the sanctity of marriage. Previously, the Lord infinitely raises the sanctity of life by not only prohibiting murder (6th Commandment given under OT law) but to reveal how our attitudes, thoughts, words and desires make murderers of us all. Jesus proceeds in His 6 corrective illustrations of the principle that self-righteousness…works-righteousness can never achieve the righteousness God requires in order for a person to enter the kingdom of heaven. The 2nd & 3rd illustrations deal with the sanctity of marriage by forbidding adultery (7th Commandment) and also protecting the bond of marriage by revealing God’s heart concerning divorce.We are living in an age where the temptation to fall into sexual immorality is very strong. The temptation has been there since the fall but today it appears stronger than ever. Part of the problem is that our culture is overtly sensualistic. We’ve had people telling us that relationships should only last as long as they are fulfilling to both parties and in the realm of sexuality—satisfaction is a basic human right that should not be violated. For many decades, these values have shifted and you can see this in what society now deems to be permissible (and it has very much been like the frog in water…It has taken so long for the water to boil that the frog actually enjoys its own death). A few decades ago, you would not see on TV what you see today. There was no internet that gave access to sexual satisfaction with a few keystrokes. American homes used to consider pornography to be filthy…it has become so widely accepted by the society that it even creeps into the church unannounced. Men…there are too many who struggle for sexual purity—b/c the temptation is very strong. And don’t think pastors are immune. Pastors are being disqualified from ministry in exceeding numbers—not only b/c of porn, but b/c they are entering adulterous relationships—tearing apart the bond of marriage.Just last year, a man I highly respected, who’s preaching stirred the soul, I’ve grown under that ministry—it was destroyed b/c he revealed he had been having a 5-year relationship with a woman who just finished college. This news devastated many in the circles of people that I have part with. And if pastors/shepherds are falling—what’s happening to the flock? Satan loves every moment of these failures. Jesus is concerned with the purity of His church. He is concerned that marriage be held up very high within a society that is disregarding it in ways not previously thought about. And, just as importantly, how can you live purely in a sensual society? Everything about this world is against you. But there is hope in the teaching of the LJC.You remember the 10th Commandment? “You shall not covet…” (Ex 20:17).Romans 7:7–8 NASB95 7 What shall we say then? Is the Law sin? May it never be! On the contrary, I would not have come to know sin except through the Law; for I would not have known about coveting if the Law had not said, “You shall not covet.” 8 But sin, taking opportunity through the commandment, produced in me coveting of every kind; for apart from the Law sin is dead.The term Paul uses here for “coveting” is the same term Jesus uses in Mt 5… “looks at a woman with lust…” Paul says that when the Law says you shall not covet, the heart (b/c of its condition—being deceived and desperately sick) it wants to rebel against God’s authority and so coveting rises up in the heart—one of its forms is lust.Know that Bible concerns itself primarily with the heart—and transformation of it. God knows the heart (Lk 16:15), better than we know ourselves (David’s prayer Psalm 139:23 “23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;”)Jesus destroyed the instruction of the scribes and Pharisees who taught you are only guilty of murder when you commit the act—no it is a heart issue. He’s going to do the same with their understanding of the prohibition against adultery.1. The InstructionJesus is coming back to the instruction that was given by the scribes and Pharisees “you have heard…” In Jesus’ day, Jews relied upon the teaching of rabbis, scribes (experts in the law) and Pharisees (as the example of righteousness) to know what God required of them. They didn’t have access to the Scriptures to read it for themselves—so they depended on others. Matthew gives a word-for-word rendering of the LXX of Exodus 20:14 “14 “You shall not commit adultery.” This is the 7th commandment. As Paul details in Romans 7:12 “12 So then, the Law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good.” This one statement of God’s law is perfect and wholly good. There was no error in what God revealed—so Jesus is not taking opposition to the letter of the God’s law. He is at odds with the interpretation and instruction of scribes and the Pharisees who taught that the commandment only prohibits outward acts of adultery. As in every other instance, they were only concerned with the letter—what was the external manifestation.God created marriage for the good of humanity. And He created sex to be a joyful blessing of that union b/t husband and wife. God told Adam and Eve:Genesis 1:28 NASB95 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”The natural sexual relations within the bounds of marriage are God-given and beautiful. The forbidden book (as many hold it)—the Song of Solomon is inspired Scripture and describes what John Stott calls the “uninhibited delight of lovers” which of course refers to the bride and groom.Proverbs 5:18–19 NASB95 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.Job 31:1–11 NASB95 1 “I have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I gaze at a virgin? 2 “And what is the portion of God from above Or the heritage of the Almighty from on high? 3 “Is it not calamity to the unjust And disaster to those who work iniquity? 4 “Does He not see my ways And number all my steps? 5 “If I have walked with falsehood, And my foot has hastened after deceit, 6 Let Him weigh me with accurate scales, And let God know my integrity. 7 “If my step has turned from the way, Or my heart followed my eyes, Or if any spot has stuck to my hands, 8 Let me sow and another eat, And let my crops be uprooted. 9 “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, Or I have lurked at my neighbor’s doorway, 10 May my wife grind for another, And let others kneel down over her. 11 “For that would be a lustful crime; Moreover, it would be an iniquity punishable by judges.The purity of that union was intended by God to be upheld within the society. But it very quickly came under attack by the enemy and is under full assault today.This is why the command against adultery is so serious. It is a horrible offense and one that was punishable by death.Leviticus 20:10 NASB95 10 ‘If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.Deuteronomy 22:22 NASB95 22 “If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.In Jesus time, the act of adultery was still very serious:John 8:4–5 NASB95 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 “Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”Today, adultery—which we would define as a married person who has sexual relationships with anyone other than his/her own spouse…continues to have serious consequences. Tim Challies and Christopher Ash have detailed 6 reasons adultery is harmful:Exalting Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount Guard Your Heart (Matthew 5:27–28)Adultery is a serious matter. At least, it is a serious matter in the mind and heart of the God who created sex and marriage and who put wise boundaries on them both. But why? Why is adultery such a serious matter? Christopher Ash provides six reasons:
Adultery is a turning away from a promise. … It is a turning away from one to whom promises were made in the presence of witnesses. Most importantly, it is a forsaking of promises made in the presence of God and, in that way, a turning away from God himself.
Adultery leads the adulterer from security to chaos. Because the adulterer has turned away, he or she enters into a life of torn loyalties. … Even when the adulterer remains loyal to that new partner, there is still the divided life, the divided family, the divided memories.
Adultery is secretive and dishonest. … It has to be because no one wants to trumpet that they are breaking a promise. Adultery loves the darkness and flees the light and for as long as it can it tries to remain a secret. “Whereas news of a marriage is broadcast by joyful announcement and invitations, news of adultery leaks out by rumor and under pressure.”
Adultery destroys the adulterer. Adultery does no favors to the adulterer. To the contrary, it undermines and erodes character and integrity. “Like all secret sin, it eats away like some noxious chemical at the integrity of the one who commits it.”
Adultery damages society. “Each act of adultery is like a wrecking ball taking a swing at the secure walls of the social fabric of society. It stirs up hatred and enmity. It encourages a culture which reckons marriage boundaries needn’t really be quite so rigid.” We love to think our sins are our own, that they concern only us. But no, our sin goes far beyond ourselves and impacts others.
Adultery hurts children. Adultery does grievous harm to an innocent party—children. … Children are harmed when adultery brings chaos and conflict and disunity. … No wonder, then, that the Bible contains such serious, repeated warnings against it: “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished” (
It is no wonder the penalty for such an offense was death. Here’s the problem… scribes and pharisees had a severely twisted understanding of adultery—again, everything was purely external—only the act was prohibited.For one…it was the understanding that the Jewish “married man could have sexual adventures as long as they did not involve a married woman (which would mean violating the rights of her husband). A woman, however, was expected to have no such relations; she should be chaste before marriage and faithful after it” (Leon Morris).It is a common temptation to think that a violation happens only when the deed is done—act has been committed. It was this kind of thinking that led Origen (3rd C church father) to have himself castrated b/c of weariness to his own sinfulness.There were also the monks and hermits who moved to the desert in the early church—wanting to free themselves from earthly things (and thinking they could avoid temptation—especially of sensual nature). Barclay Illustrates:The Gospel of Matthew, Volume 1 The Surgical Cure (Matthew 5:29–30)The most famous of them all was Saint Anthony. He lived the hermit’s life; he fasted; he did without sleep; he tortured his body. For thirty-five years he lived in the desert, and these thirty-five years were a non-stop battle, without respite, with his temptations. The story is told in his biography. ‘First of all the devil tried to lead him away from discipline, whispering to him the remembrance of his wealth, cares for his sister, claims of kindred, love of money, love of glory, the various pleasures of the table, and the other relaxations of life, and, at last, the difficulty of virtue and the labour of it … The one would suggest foul thoughts, and the other counter them with prayers; the one fire him with lust, the other, as one who seemed to blush, fortify his body with prayers, faith and fasting. The devil one night even took upon him the shape of a woman, and imitated all her acts simply to beguile Anthony.’ So for thirty-five years the struggle went on.
Adultery (and every sexual sin—immorality among unmarried) is extremely serious. But it isn’t only about the outside.2. The Correction“But I say…”Jesus does not mean that it is wrong to look at a woman admiringly—but His concern is lustfully. He is not prohibiting the natural, normal attraction that is designed by God as part of our humanity. He is also not suggesting that women are immune to lust—as this only applies to males.What Jesus is addressing (and what is the correction to the instruction of the scribes and Pharisees) is that murder is first of all committed in the heart (thru anger, words of contempt and condemnation)—and likewise acts of adultery begin within the heart and are not limited to the physical deed.Sermon on the Mount—The Message of the Kingdom The Radically New Standard of Sexual PurityA. B. Bruce writes, “The look is not casual but persistent, the desire not involuntary or momentary, but cherished.”
In other words, this isn’t the 1st glance that is sin. Jesus is speaking about the 2nd look—the one that is being fed by the lust of the heart—that is where the sin takes place. It is the intentional looking for the purpose of lusting. Of course, the heart is the mission control center…Desires flow out of the heart, plans and purposes are created within the heart, thoughts originate (not in the mind) in the heart. You think with your heart. Jesus is saying the one who looks upon another with lust (term means desire, longing, craving) has committed adultery in their mission control center—in every case that person has become an adulterer.Jesus uses the aorist tense to show how the person “has already” committed adultery. It is accomplished and it is incriminating.David is an excellent example of what is going on.2 Samuel 11:1–4 NASB95 1 Then it happened in the spring, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel, and they destroyed the sons of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David stayed at Jerusalem. 2 Now when evening came David arose from his bed and walked around on the roof of the king’s house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful in appearance. 3 So David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” 4 David sent messengers and took her, and when she came to him, he lay with her; and when she had purified herself from her uncleanness, she returned to her house.The lustful looking was caused by the sin of the heart. The heart doesn’t sin b/c of lust, but it lusts b/c it is fallen, sinful. David took the glance of attraction—which then moved to lust b/c his heart was sinful and looking for the occasion to feed the sin—he sent to inquire more. Here, he should have been like Joseph when Potiphar’s wife seduced him—run away—even if she has your clothes in her hand—get out of there.Few male and female believers have not crossed that line b/t attraction and lust (at some point in our lives—while unsaved and saved). Now, where not very many will commit the act of adultery, they will enjoy sinning in the mind/imagination thru the lustful look. This is why the porn industry flourishes—as people feed the sin of the heart .Jesus says, “that’s your problem.” You may reduce the meaning of the law to the physical, external act only—but you are guilty of adultery b/c you have lusted after another in your heart. That’s where adultery begins. This is the authoritative word of God and Jesus infinitely elevates the intent of the Law—given as an expression of the holiness of God. The Law reveals our fallenness. We may think like the Pharisees—as long as I don’t do the deed, I’m not guilty. One immoral thought—James 2:10 “10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.” How easy it is for us to think we can earn righteousness by good living—impossible.God desires sexual purity not just in a physical sense but also as it pertains to the heart/soul. So what are we to do?3. The Application29-30This is radical teaching…but is Jesus advocating physical mutilation by cutting off the hand and plucking out the eye? The problem with that approach is that an external solution does not solve an internal problem. Adultery is a sin that originates in the heart. The physical solutions cannot prevent the sin. The Lord’s application is figurative to show how sin cano only be dealt with by radical means.If your right hand/right eye—stumble. The word for stumble is the one we get the word “scandal” in English. scandalon was originally the bait stick. This was the stick on which the bait was fixed and which operated the trap to catch the animal lured to its own destruction by its instinct/desires. The word would come to mean anything that causes a person’s destruction. If your right hand causes that (remembering that sin originates in the heart not the hand)—then something must be done and urgently.Elsewhere in Scripture, sin is seen as perverting the members of the body.Romans 6:12–14 NASB95 12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, 13 and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. 14 For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.Sin turns the instruments created by God for righteousness into those which bring us to ruin. The way to deal radically with the sin in your heart is to put it to death—the mortification of sin. John Stott has a practical comment:The Message of the Sermon on the Mount 2. Avoiding Lust (27–30)What does this involve in practice? Let me elaborate and so interpret Jesus’ teaching: ‘If your eye causes you to sin because temptation comes to you through your eyes (objects you see), then pluck out your eyes. That is, don’t look! Behave as if you had actually plucked out your eyes and flung them away, and were now blind and so could not see the objects which previously caused you to sin. Again, if your hand or foot causes you to sin, because temptation comes to you through your hands (things you do) or your feet (places you visit), then cut them off. That is: don’t do it! Don’t go! Behave as if you had actually cut off your hands and feet, and had flung them away, and were now crippled and so could not do the things or visit the places which previously caused you to sin.’ That is the meaning of ‘mortification’.
The sins that are sensual in nature demand radical measures to keep us from entering such strong temptations.1 Corinthians 9:27 NASB95 27 but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.Proverbs 4:23 NASB95 23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.The way to watch over the heart, the way of bodily discipline—is for the purpose of guarding the approaches of sin. Militaries know the importance of posting sentries to warn of the attacking enemy. In a moral sense, we need to post sentries that will help us against sin and its radical judgment (Jesus speaks again of Gehenna—fiery hell).Be like Job—make a covenant with your eyes not to take the 2nd look. Keep eye contact when talking to others. Paul says, “Flee immorality” (1 Cor 6:18). And just as important as what you avoid, putting off sinful thoughts, put on those which promote holiness:Philippians 4:8 NASB95 8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.Finally, these things mean nothing if they are void of the HS. You can’t put sin to death without God’s Spirit. No amount of will-power will accomplish this. And this is the point/illustration Jesus is making…you need Christ’s righteousness which is given on the basis of faith. May God help each of us to pursue the fruit of the righteousness. Matthew 19:6NASB95
Romans 7:7–8NASB95
Genesis 1:28NASB95
Proverbs 5:18–19NASB95
Job 31:1–11NASB95
Leviticus 20:10NASB95
Deuteronomy 22:22NASB95
John 8:4–5NASB95
2 Samuel 11:1–4NASB95
Romans 6:12–14NASB95
1 Corinthians 9:27NASB95
Proverbs 4:23NASB95
Philippians 4:8NASB95
- May The Mind Of Christ My Saviour (St. Leonards)
