In the Bible Christian Ministry
Sunday 2-23-25 (The Well Ordered Life Part 3)

  • Living a Well-Ordered Life: The Power of Relationships

    Today, we continue our journey towards living a well-ordered life by focusing on the cornerstone of our existence—relationships.
    By nurturing strong relationships with others and with God, we can bring order to our lives and avoid the chaos that arises from discord and confusion.
    The Importance of Relationships with Others: 
    God created us to be relational beings, and the strength of our relationships with others directly impacts the order in our lives.
    When you have bad relationships or challenging relationships in your life it affects your life’s order.
    Hard to have peace because even if the individual isn’t present it causes angst and uneasiness.
    When we have and focus on building and maintaining good relationships, we create a foundation:
    of support
    love
    understanding
    that helps us navigate life's challenges.
    Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 NIV
    9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
    By focusing on others and nurturing these relationships, we can avoid the discourse and confusion that often leads to disorder.
    Instead, we create an environment of mutual respect and understanding that promotes order and stability.

    At our Foundation we are Relational Beings

    Inherent Need for Connection:
    The idea that God created us as relational beings suggests that connection is not just a desirable add-on to life, but a fundamental part of our design.   It is not optional--it is NEEDED
    -       From birth, we are dependent on others for:
    survival and
    thrive in environments of love and belonging.
    This innate need for connection is often seen as a reflection of a divine nature that is itself relational.  He designed us so that we could have a ongoing relationship with Him and others.  He walked with Adam.
    Genesis 3:8 NIV
    8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
    -      They were familiar with God visiting. God wasn’t a stranger.
    Genesis 2:18 NIV
    18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
    But he also saw that Adam was lonely.  But God was there.  But God saw the need.  Adam didn’t ask. 
    So by design we are to be relational
     Relationships help with our development 1. Social and Emotional Development:
    -      Relationships are where we develop our social and emotional skills.
    Through interactions  with others, we learn empathy, communication, conflict resolution, and the ability to give and receive love.
    -      These skills are essential for healthy functioning in all areas of life.
    Mirroring and Identity: Our relationships also play a crucial role in shaping our sense of self.
    We see ourselves reflected in the eyes of others,
    People’s feed back drive who we become.
    If they don’t like us we can become harden
    If they do we can play more into that behavior
    Their feedback and acceptance contribute to our self-esteem and identity formation.
    The Power of UNITY
    Philippians 2:1–4 NIV
    1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

    How Relationships Impact Order

    It’s hard to look past a bad relationship:
    it can knead away at you
    A relationship from your childhood (regardless of who is at fault) can continue to impact you in adulthood 
    A good relationship can have a very positive effect on many areas of our life as much as a negative relationship can impact many areas as well:
    Emotional Regulation: Strong relationships provide a buffer against stress and emotional turmoil. When we feel supported and understood, we are better able to regulate our emotions and cope with life's challenges.
     Support: Relationships offer practical support in times of need.
    Friends and family can provide assistance with everything
      Moral Compass: Our relationships often serve as a moral compass, guiding us toward ethical behavior and holding us accountable for our actions
    People and hold you accountable or bring things to your attention that you may not otherwise recognize
     Sense of Purpose and Belonging: Strong relationships contribute to a sense of purpose and belonging, which are essential for mental and emotional well-being.
    Feeling connected to others gives our lives meaning and significance.
      Reduced Isolation: Isolation and loneliness can lead to a host of negative consequences, including depression, anxiety, and physical health problems. Cultivating strong relationships helps us avoid these pitfalls.
    Building and Maintaining Relationships:
    * Intentionality: Building and maintaining strong relationships requires intentional effort. It involves investing time, energy, and emotional resources in others.
    - Communication
    - Empathy
    - Forgiveness and Grace
    - Prioritization
    Romans 12:10 NIV
    10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
    * Communication: Effective communication is essential for healthy relationships. This includes active listening, expressing our needs and feelings, and resolving conflicts constructively.
    * Empathy and Compassion: Putting ourselves in the shoes of others and showing empathy and compassion are crucial for building trust and connection.
    * Forgiveness and Grace: Relationships are imperfect, and disagreements and hurt feelings are inevitable. Forgiveness and grace are essential for healing and moving forward.
    * Shared Experiences: Sharing experiences with others, whether it’s a meal, a hobby, or a difficult situation, can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories.
    * Prioritization: In a busy world, it’s easy to neglect our relationships. Prioritizing them and making time for them is essential.
    Hebrews 10:24–25 NIV
    24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
    In essence:
    The idea that God created us to be relational underscores the fundamental importance of connection.
    When we prioritize building and maintaining healthy relationships, we create a foundation of support, love, and understanding that not only enriches our own lives but also contributes to a more harmonious and well-ordered world.
    It is about creating a network of people that you can rely on, and that can rely on you.

    Bad Relationships

    Some of our relationships are bad because our expectations of others are not aligned right
    Many times we make the relationships bad because we expect more than HUMANLY POSSIBLE
    We expect people to do what only God can do
    Heal my brokenness
    Make me Happy
    Give me Joy
    Bring me Peace
    Many of us have problems we expect others to fix and we need to go to God
    Take IT TO GOD
    Mark 1:35 NIV
    35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
    We forget we need REST.
    A key to having a well ordered life and well ordered relationships is REST
    Mark 6:31 NIV
    31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
    Rest is a key part of building good relationships. We have to stop putting so much on people. Our expectations of people to heal you and save you is misplaced.

    Keep God First: Your First Relationship

    At the heart of a well-ordered life is a strong, meaningful relationship with God.
    When we keep God first and seek to deepen our connection with Him, we find peace and order in our lives. God's guidance and presence provide a steady anchor amidst the storms of life. We don’t have to burden others so much with our aches, pains and other things.
    God repairs us so we can be healthy in the relationships. Not that people can’t help you but People can’t FIX you
    Philippians 4:6–7 NIV
    6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
    Matthew 6:33 NIV
    33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
    We are LINKED to HIM. He is the SOURCE of our strength so why go to OTHERS first
    John 15:5 NIV
    5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

    Honest with SELF

    We have people lives and we KNOW who they are to us
    Funny friend
    Serious friend
    Worrying Friend
    But who are we?
    See those around us know who we are. Just like if you look at your group of friends you know who they are.
    But do you know who you are..
    Self Assessment: When comparing a person’s self-assessment of themselves to who they truly are, research shows that people often overestimate their abilities and positive qualities, meaning their self-perception is generally more positive than an objective evaluation would reveal.
    People naturally focus on their strengths and positive experiences, leading to a more favorable self-image than may be accurate.
    Think they are smarter than they are
    More compassionate than they are
    More helpful than they are
    More selfish than they think
    More reliant on others than they think
     Think you are nice but you mean
    Now, let’s look in the MIRROR, not at who we think we are, but who we really are. What are we truly bringing to these relationships....
    AND WHAT SHAPED US...WHOSE EXAMPLE ARE WE SEEING>
    look at some old pictures-— look at your hair, look at your clothes. Yeah you standing next to that wicker chair.
    You thought you look good, but so did someone else. BUT NOW
    Everybody you see when you out people watching has passed a mirror and they did that ON PURPOSE
    INSIDE WORKS THE SAME WAY
    HONESTY TIME
    Are we the husband, the father, the friend, the child of God that we aspire to be, or are there areas where we fall short?
    * To our wives: Are we the strong, supportive, loving partners we vowed to be, or are we the easily irritated, emotionally distant men we sometimes become?
    Do we cherish and honor them as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25), or do we take them for granted?
    Ephesians 5:25 NIV
    25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
    * To our children: Are we the patient, understanding, and guiding parents they need, or are we the impatient, critical, and sometimes absent figures that leave them feeling unheard and unloved?
    Do we disciple them in the ways of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:4-9), or do we neglect their spiritual growth?
    Deuteronomy 6:5–7 NIV
    5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
    * To our friends: Are we the loyal, trustworthy, and supportive friends they can count on, or are we the flaky, self-centered individuals who only reach out when we need something?
    Do we bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), or do we avoid getting involved in their lives?
    Galatians 6:2 NIV
    2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
    * And most importantly, to God: Are we the devoted followers, the obedient servants, the passionate lovers He calls us to be, or are we the lukewarm, complacent, and sometimes rebellious children who prioritize our own desires over His will?
    Do we seek first His kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), or do we chase after worldly things?
    Matthew 6:33 NIV
    33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
    When we stare in that mirror what do we see.
    Do we seek the truth or do we use a filter.
    Filters make us feel good. You look good? but take it all off.
    Some of us afraid of the truth in our lives
    John 8:29–34 NIV
    29 The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” 30 Even as he spoke, many believed in him. 31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” 33 They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?” 34 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.

      • Ecclesiastes 4:9–10NIV2011

      • Genesis 3:8NIV2011

      • Genesis 2:18NIV2011

      • Philippians 2:1–4NIV2011

      • Romans 12:10NIV2011

      • Hebrews 10:24–25NIV2011

      • Mark 1:35NIV2011

      • Mark 6:31NIV2011

      • Philippians 4:6–7NIV2011

      • Matthew 6:33NIV2011

      • John 15:5NIV2011

      • Ephesians 5:25NIV2011

      • Deuteronomy 6:5–7NIV2011

      • Galatians 6:2NIV2011

      • Matthew 6:33NIV2011

      • John 8:29–34NIV2011

In the Bible Christian Ministry
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