Bulletins - Eagles Nest Church

- - Ephesians 2:1–9ESV
Michael and Liam began meeting for breakfast every Monday morning at 6 am.
At first, they thought it would be a one-time event,
but they hit it off and started becoming good friends.
The two men really enjoyed their time together,
And so what began as a one-time event,
became a weekly one,
And it was rare for these two men to not meet on Monday mornings.
Early on in their friendship, the conversations focused on sports, family, and politics.
They had so much in common.
Michael was forty-one and Liam was thirty-nine.
They both had three kids,
and they were both college football fanatics.
In fact,
each of their favorite teams were in the same football conference,
and the teams were pretty fierce rivals.
And the two men thoroughly enjoyed trash-talking each other’s team in a friendly spirit.
And ladies, that’s how most guys’s friendship works.
They tease other.
And pastor Dave Griffieth and I do that A LOT to each other.
So much so, that Becky has asked, on at least a few occasions: “Are you sure you guys are friends?”
We are - that’s just how most guy’s friendships work.
Which is why I sometimes jokingly say: “If I don’t make fun you - we probably aren’t friends.”
Well, one Monday morning, the conversation turned serious.
Michael and his wife had noticed some changes in the Liam’s demeanor at their Bible study.
He no longer seemed as interested in studying and discussing the Bible,
and he was more concerned with talking about their church.
His comments were often critical about other people at church,
and the church’s pastors.
Well on that morning, Liam was barely touching his food and his coffee had turned cold.
It takes take long for Liam to get to the point.
“Michael” he began, “I need to let you know that my wife and I have decided to leave the church.”
The pause seems to last for minutes,
as both men seemed unsure who should speak next.
So Michael took the initiative, and softly asked:
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
He honestly wasn’t sure if Liam wanted to anymore about it.
And his friend seemed quite determined.
But then Liam began explaining the reasons for his decision.
“My wife and began coming to this church to learn deep truths about the Bible.” Liam said.
“But pastor Roberts preaching is just not feeding us. We aren’t getting anything out of his messages.”
“And we’ve found better pastors online who actually feed us.”
“We really think Sunday mornings at our church have become a big waste of time for us.”
Michael didn’t respond.
He just sat there, because he could tell Liam had more to say.
Liam went on.
“Look, we love the church and we love a lot of the people.”
“You and your wife have become our best friends, and there are few more others like you.”
“But honestly Michael, our church is full of hypocrites who are talking the talk but not walking the walk.”
“Did you hear Jim at the kid’s basketball game last week?”
“He was yelling at the refs, and that was embarrassing for me because Jim goes to our church.”
“I know he’s a newer Christian, but that behavior is completely unacceptable!”
“What kind of testimony is that?”
“And of course everyone knows about Neil.”
“He was supposedly a pillar of this church, and we found out he’s been cheating on his wife for over a year!”
“What kind of church is this with these kinds of people?!”
Liam was clearly upset, but still very controlled.
He continued to vent.
“Look, pastor Roberts acts like he cares for us, but I honestly wonder if he even does.”
“I told him that my wife’s dad was in the hospital for hernia surgery, and he never even visited him!”
Michael knew that Liam’s father in law was not a church member, and he lived fifty miles away.
But he also knew that Pastor Robert called him and prayed with him on the phone.
But he also could tell that Liam was in no mood to hear any rebuttal or defense right now.
So Michael held his tongue.
It seemed like Liam’s rant was winding down,
But then Liam added:
“Michael, I really like you and your family. We’ve become good friends.”
“But you seem enthusiastic about the church, but I wonder at times if you’re blind to all the problems in our church.”
“I think when it comes to this, we are two very different types of church members.”
“And I can’t figure out why we have such different perspectives.”
According to a 2024 Lifeway Research study of 1,001 Protestant churches,
roughly six out of ten churches in America are plateauing or declining,
while only 38 percent are growing.
We can blame that on the secular culture.
We can blame the godless politics of our nation.
And we can blame it on the churches, the hypocritical members, and the uncaring pastors.
And lots of Christians are doing that.
But I have an alternative suggestion.
Instead of blaming everyone else.
Let’s look in the mirror first.
Because congregations across America are weak
because so many church members have lost the biblical understanding of what it means to be a part of the body of Christ.
We join our church expecting others to serve us, feed us, and care for us.
We don’t like the hypocrites in the church,
but we fail to see our own hypocrisies.
God did not give us local churches to become country clubs
where membership means we have privileges and perks.
Instead, Christ placed us in the church to serve,
to care for others,
to pray for leaders,
to learn,
to teach,
to be teachable,
and in some cases, to die for the sake of the gospel.
In so many churches, they are weak because members have turned the meaning of membership completely upside down.
And if we want to be a healthy church,
we need to get this right.
Which means becoming the kind of church member that God intended.
We must become givers not takers.
So throughout this class,
I want us to be thinking and praying about where God might be calling us to change.
Not where other people need to change.
Where WE need to change.
But to do that,
we have to look to God’s Word as a mirror - not a window.
Throughout this class we’ll look at what membership is.
What healthy membership looks like and how it’s grounded in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
And what we must avoid to ensuring we are strong and healthy church.
And if we do that with the right attitude.
We will have a new or even renewed attitude about the church.
Which will increase our joy by showing us that “he who is first shall be last.”
Instead of experiencing the misery of jockeying to be first.
Because giving into complaining and grumbling steals our joy and harms our witness.
But being a unifier in the church brings us joy.
But not only does this give us joy,
it makes us a healthier church.
Because as the members individually become healthier,
the whole becomes healthier.
And that makes our witness of Jesus all the stronger.
So let’s not blame the culture.
The politics.
Or anyone else.
Let’s look inward and grow to become more like Jesus for His glory and our eternal joy.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Question:
What problems do you see in Liam’s attitude toward his church? Which of his complaints might have been legitimate concerns, and what should he have done with them?
Question:
How would you evaluate Michael’s handling of the conversation?
Michael handled some things well.
He stayed calm,
didn’t become defensive,
and didn’t immediately argue with Liam.
But he also made a significant mistake:
He allowed Liam to gossip to him and criticize people who weren’t there to answer for themselves.
There is a difference between listening to someone who is hurting and giving someone an audience for gossip, slander, or a complaining spirit.
Once Liam began accusing Pastor Roberts and other church members,
Michael should have stopped the conversation.
A healthy response would have been:
“Brother, let me stop you. Have you talked to Pastor Roberts about this?” Or, “Have you spoken directly to Jim about that?”
Jesus gives us the basic pattern in Matthew 18:15.
Matthew 18:15 ESV
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
Proverbs 18:8 ESV
8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.
Proverbs 16:28 ESV
28 A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Ephesians 4:29 ESV
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
We should not become a dumping ground for complaints about other Christians.
If the concern is legitimate, direct the person toward the one involved.
If they refuse to go to that person but keep talking to everyone else, the problem is no longer simply the original offense.
Now gossip and division have become part of the problem.
A healthy church member does not merely refuse to spread gossip.
He refuses to become an audience for it.
Question:
Liam evaluated his church largely by what he and his family were getting from it. What is the difference between approaching church as a consumer and approaching it as a member of Christ’s body?
Question:
There are churches where the preaching is problematic and the church’s sins aren’t being handled biblically. How do we determine what rises the to level of leaving and what should that process look like?
Question:
When you hear teaching about unhealthy church membership, are you more naturally tempted to think about someone else who needs to hear it or about yourself? What would it look like for us to use God’s Word as a mirror rather than a window during this class?
- - Matthew 18:15ESV
- - Proverbs 18:8ESV
- - Proverbs 16:28ESV
- - Ephesians 4:29ESV

Ephesians 2:1–9ESV

Matthew 18:15ESV

Proverbs 18:8ESV

Proverbs 16:28ESV

Ephesians 4:29ESV