First Baptist Church Litchfield
June 28, 2026

      • Isaiah 60:1–2ESV

  • Doxology (God Be Praised)
  • Firm Foundation (He Won't)

      • Matthew 9:9–13ESV

  • From The Inside Out
  • As The Deer
  • Jesus At The Center
  • John Calvin once wrote,

    “The duty of parents is not only to nourish the body of their children, but also to educate their souls for God." John Calvin

    That is exactly where Paul takes us next.
    In the first half of our sermon, Paul warned fathers about authority that burdens the heart of a child with discouragement. We saw that fathers can provoke their children to anger through inconsistent discipline, constant criticism, unreasonable expectations, favoritism, and shame-based parenting. We learned that authority divorced from love crushes the spirit of a child. And I was left last Sunday with this nagging feeling, as likely every parent in this room, that I have seen traces of those failures in my own life.
    But Paul does not leave fathers with a list of what not to do. Christ never stops at repentance. He always moves us toward renewal and restoration. The same gospel that exposes our failures also equips us to walk in faithfulness. Having warned fathers against provoking their children, Paul now turns to the positive responsibility of parenting.
    If the first command is, "Do not exasperate your children," the obvious question becomes, "What should fathers do instead?"
    Paul answers: "Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
    In other words:

    God calls fathers to intentionally disciple their children through Christ-centered discipline and Bible-saturated instruction so they grow in the knowledge, love, and obedience of the Lord.

    The Bible is not interested in talking about behavior modification. We have to do more than raise up respectful children. Parenting, especially fatherhood, is the sacred calling. We get to shepherd the hearts of our children toward Jesus Christ. To do that well, me must first, exercise authority that nourishes our children.

    I. Exercise Authority That Nourishes Your Children: “Bring them up”

    The positive command is ἐκτρέφετε, a verb that originally referred to the physical nourishing and rearing of a child, but came over time to encompass the nourishment of body, mind, and soul together. Paul used the same word earlier in the letter to describe how Christ nourishes and cherishes the church (Eph 5:29). The word carries, unquestionably, a connotation of gentleness and forbearance.
    It is not limited to the language of physical provision; as if my only responsibility to my children is to put a roof over their head, shoes on their feet, and food on their plate. It is the language of tender, attentive, comprehensive formation. The present tense indicates a steady, ongoing course of nourishing that forms or shapes a child. Godly formation cannot be occasional, or reactive. It has to be consistent. A father who is ἐκτρέφετε-ing (nourishing) his children is doing so as a way of life.
    Jewish and Greco-Roman culture agreed that children needed parental authority and instruction. But Paul writes in a world where a Roman father could legally abandon or even kill his newborn if he refused to recognize the child. So, Paul is not baptizing the cultural norms of his day. He is calling fathers to be counter-cultural, to something higher, gentler, and more demanding. He is calling fathers to intentionally and sacrificially engage their children in Christ exalting, Word infused, Spirit empowered formation shaped by the character of our Lord.
    Keeping the idea of formation at the forefront, let me break it down even further. There are seven characteristics of Christ exalting, Word infused, Spirit empowered formation that nourishes. The first three come by exercising proper authority, that is “bringing them up.” The final four come through the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

    Formation that Nourishes is Heavenly Minded

    Fathers you are not merely raising bodies, careers, athletes, or scholars. Do not settle for such worldly endeavors that here here today and gone tomorrow. You are raising eternal souls. Jesus tells his disciples “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matthew 10:28). Every child made in the image of God must learn to fear God, the one who has the power cast body and soul into hell. The primary honor and privilege of fatherhood is cultivating the souls of your children to love and honor Christ. Therefore, to nourish your child is to always be rearing your your sons and daughters toward their eternal home, heaven.

    Formation that Nourishes is Active Shepherding

    The image of the shepherd does not end with Christ. Throughout Scripture, God entrusts under-shepherds to care for His people. Elders are commanded to "shepherd the flock of God" (1 Peter 5:2), not by domineering over those in their charge, "but being examples to the flock" (1 Peter 5:3). Fathers are likewise called to shepherd the little flock God has entrusted to them. They lead, feed, protect, correct, and lovingly guide their children under the authority of the Chief Shepherd, Jesus Christ (1 Peter 5:4).
    This is why the life of a faithful pastor matters so deeply to the church. He is not merely preaching sermons; he is modeling shepherding. Fathers learn how to shepherd their families by watching faithful shepherds care for Christ's church. (note: This is why you must be in a bible believing Christ honoring Spirit empowered church that does it’s best to live out the gospel.)
    Dr. David Prince makes this point well. Though writing specifically to pastors, his principle extends naturally to every Christian father:
    "The pastor must daily equip his own family and intentionally 'manage his own household well,' since how a God-called elder navigates home life becomes invaluably instructive for other fathers in the congregation." — David Prince, "The Pastor's Home as Paradigm for the Church's Family Ministry," Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry 4, no. 1 (2013): 27, 29.
    The point is this: shepherding is not peripheral to fatherhood; it defines it. God intends faithful pastors to model Christlike shepherding so that fathers may imitate that example in their own homes. As Paul said elsewhere, "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1). The pastor follows the Chief Shepherd. Fathers follow the Chief Shepherd and his faithful under-shepherds (pastors). Children, in turn, learn to follow Christ.
    What an incredible responsibility. Fathers, your children are watching how you shepherd them. One day, God willing, they should be able to say, "My father taught me what the Good Shepherd is like because he reflected Him so well."

    Formation that Nourishes is Wholistic

    There is an old distinction in education between instruction and formation. Instruction fills a mind with information. Formation shapes a whole person: habits, affections, character, and the will. Scripture consistently aims beyond the accumulation of knowledge to the transformation of life.
    That is why Moses instructed Israel: “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children..." (Deuteronomy 6:6–7).
    Notice the order. God's Word must first shape the father's heart before it is taught to the child. Biblical parenting is does not settle for transferring information. It aims to reproduce a way of life.
    Likewise, Solomon exhorts fathers: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) The word "train" carries the idea of dedicating or directing a child into a particular way of life. We want to raise up children who both know truth and fights to walk in the truth.
    Paul expresses the same burden in Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind." The renewed mind produces a transformed life. Information is never the final goal; Christlikeness is.
    James warns us of the danger of stopping with information alone: “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves." (James 1:22) Knowledge without obedience is self-deception.
    Even our Lord measured spiritual maturity this way: “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock." (Matthew 7:24) Jesus did not commend those who merely heard His teaching but those whose lives were formed by it.
    This is exactly what Paul means by ἐκτρέφετε. A father can provide food, clothing, education, vacations, and opportunities while entirely neglecting the formation of his children. He can be present in the house and absent from their lives. He can know their grades but not their hearts. He can prepare them for college or a trade while failing to prepare them for glory.
    The verb ἐκτρέφετε will not permit that separation. It calls fathers to engage the whole child: their mind, their affections, their character, their habits, and ultimately their worship. Fathers Jesus does not demand that you raise successful adults. He commands you to make faithful disciples.
    The Scottish missionary John G. Paton never forgot the influence of his father. James Paton was not a wealthy man. He was not famous. He never held public office. But every day he gathered his family around the Scriptures, led them in prayer, and lived before them a life of sincere devotion to Christ. Paton later wrote that the memory of walking hand in hand with his father to prayer meetings and hearing him pray for his children left "an impression that can never be effaced." When John left Scotland as a missionary to the cannibals of the New Hebrides, he said it was his father's example that sustained him through danger, loneliness, and suffering.
    Reflecting on his father’s spiritual leadership, John G. Paton said,
    "How much my father's prayers at this time impressed me I can never explain, nor could any stranger understand. When, on his knees and all of us kneeling around him in family worship, he poured out his whole soul with tears... we all felt as if in the presence of the living Savior, and learned to know and love Him as our Divine Friend." — John G. Paton, Autobiography of John G. Paton, p. 21.
    Later on, when Paton’s missionary ministry was wrought with suffering, Paton would think back to his father’s intentional Christ exalting, Word infused, Spirit empowered formation in the home. Paton wrote,
    "Though everything else in religion were by some unthinkable catastrophe swept out of my memory, or blotted from my understanding, my soul would wander back to those early scenes, and shut itself up once again in that Sanctuary Closet, and hearing still the echoes of my father's cries to God, would hurl back all doubt with the victorious appeal, 'He walked with God; why may not I?'" — John G. Paton, Autobiography of John G. Paton (1889), p. 8.
    That line, "He walked with God; why may not I?", is unforgettable. James Paton did far more than feed and clothe his son. He nourished his mind with Scripture, his heart with prayer, and his soul with a vision of Christ. That is exactly what Paul means by ἐκτρέφετε. Fathers are called to nourish the whole person until their children are prepared not merely for life, but for eternity.

    Fathers, what are you intentionally cultivating in your children?

    Are you settling for feeding their bodies, their hobbies, or are you shepherding their souls? Are you equipping them for a career, or are you preparing them for eternity? There is nothing wrong with raising athletes, scholars, tradesmen, musicians, or business leaders. But if your greatest ambition is that your children succeed in this world while neglecting the next, you will lead them to the gates of hell. Do not devote all your energy to what is here today and gone tomorrow while neglecting what will last forever. Fathers, always rear your children toward heaven.
    James Paton was a good father in the eyes of his son, but even he points us to Someone greater. The best earthly father will eventually fail. The strongest father will one day die. The wisest father will sometimes make mistakes. But our Heavenly Father never fails His children. He nourishes us through His Word, disciplines us in love, patiently conforms us into the image of His Son, and promises to bring us safely home.
    Earthly fathers, your calling is not to be the perfect father. Your calling is to faithfully reflect the perfect Father, as best you can, so your children can see they have the perfect Father in heaven.
    But how does a father nourish a child's soul? What are the primary tools God has given fathers to cultivate Christlike maturity?
    Paul answers with two words: “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

    II. Cultivate Children Through Discipline and Affirmation: “In the discipline and instruction of the Lord”

    The phrase ἐν παιδείᾳ καὶ νουθεσίᾳ κυρίου—"in the discipline and instruction of the Lord", explains how fathers are to nourish and rear their children. It defines both the sphere and the standard of Christian parenting. Fathers, Christ does not not call you to raise your children according to worldly wisdom, cultural trends, family upbringing, or personal preferences, but according to the Lord Himself. Here we find the remaining four characteristics of formation that nourishes.

    Formation that Nourishes Disciplines

    The word παιδεία refers to discipline, training, and formation. It is a broad term that encompasses the entire process of shaping a child's life. It includes correction, boundaries, accountability, and consequences, but it is much more than punishment. It is the intentional cultivation of a child's mind, character, affections, and habits. It is training through both words and deeds. Children learn from what their fathers say and from what their fathers do. They absorb the atmosphere of the home, the habits of the family, and the example of their parents long before they can fully articulate what they believe.
    παιδεία (discipline) recognizes a fundamental truth about a child’s heart. As Solomon says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child" (Proverbs 22:15). Children do not naturally drift toward wisdom, holiness, or obedience. They require loving guidance and correction. Left to themselves, their sinful nature will chart its own course, which is to heartache and hell.
    Charles Spurgeon captured this reality well:
    "Little children give their mother the headache, but if she lets them have their own way, when they grow up to be great children they will give her the heartache." Charles Spurgeon
    Discipline, therefore, is an act of love. It is not retaliation or retribution for wrongdoing. You’re not venting parental frustration. You are lovingly intervening in the life of your child because you care too much to leave him or her enslaved to foolishness and sin. Biblical discipline says, as I heard often from my mentor Dave Futral when he would discipline his girls,
    “I love you too much to let you continue in sin. I love you too much to let you walk down a path that dishonors God and harms your soul." Dave Futral
    Our Heavenly Father disciplines His children in the same way. Hebrews 12:6 reminds us, "For the Lord disciplines the one He loves." Every act of godly discipline should point our children to that greater reality, that there is a Father in heaven who loves them enough to correct them, train them, and lead them toward righteousness.

    Formation that Nourishes Instructs

    The second word Paul uses is νουθεσία, translated "instruction," "admonition," or "warning." While παιδεία emphasizes training through actions, habits, and discipline, νουθεσία emphasizes training through words. It refers to the intentional communication of truth that shapes the mind, warns the conscience, and directs the heart. It is teaching a child what is right and wrong, what is true and false, what honors God and what dishonors Him. It includes counsel, correction, encouragement, warning, exhortation, and gospel instruction.
    Together, these two words give us the full picture of biblical parenting. Children need both example and explanation. They need both discipline and instruction. They need fathers who show them the truth and fathers who speak the truth.
    A father may establish rules in his home, but if he never explains the wisdom behind those rules, he has only done half the job. Likewise, a father may teach biblical truth, but if his life contradicts his words, his instruction loses credibility. God calls fathers to disciple their children through both their lives and their lips.
    This is the pattern God established in Deuteronomy 6:6–7:
    "These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
    Notice the ordinary rhythm of life. Sitting. Walking. Lying down. Rising up. Scheduled regular family devotions are good, but they are not the entirety of Biblical parenting. It is a lifestyle of discipleship. It is teaching your children while driving to practice, sitting around the dinner table, working in the yard, dealing with disappointment, celebrating success, and navigating the ordinary moments of life. It is helping your children learn to see all of life through the lens of God's truth.
    The book of Proverbs provides a beautiful example of this kind of fatherly instruction. Again and again Solomon says, "My son, listen to your father's instruction" (Proverbs 1:8; 4:1; 5:1). Solomon is doing more than giving commands. He is shepherding his son’s heart. He warns his son about the dangers of foolish friends (Proverbs 1:10–19), sexual temptation (Proverbs 5:1–23), pride (Proverbs 16:18), laziness (Proverbs 6:6–11), and the fear of man (Proverbs 29:25). He lovingly places truth before his son so that wisdom might take root in his heart. And yet, as we unfortunately know, Solomon failed to live up to the wisdom he espoused. His life did not match his lips, particularly sexual temptation, and his sons grew up to lead Isreal away from the Lord.
    I know we have been leaning on fathers for much of the sermon, but I want to also encourage my mothers with the same instruction. I am reminded of a story from the life of Susanna Wesley. Though she is remembered primarily as a mother, her commitment to spiritual instruction shaped two sons, John and Charles Wesley, who would profoundly influence the church.
    Each week she would set aside individual time with her children to discuss Scripture, ask questions, address struggles, and point them toward Christ. She understood that children need more than rules. They need conversations. They need truth lovingly applied to the heart. That is what νουθεσία does. It places God's truth into the mind so that it might transform the heart to work out joyful obedience.
    And notice the balance Paul maintains. Children need correction when they are wrong, but they also need encouragement when they are right. They need warning and affirmation. They need discipline and delight. The Christian life, especially in parenting, is a life lived in tension and balance.

    Formation that Nourishes Happens in Community

    Notice that Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus as a covenant community. Although he specifically addresses fathers, the entire congregation would have heard this letter read aloud. Sitting in that assembly were mothers and fathers, grandparents, widows, single adults, young men and women, aunts and uncles, and those whom the Lord, in His sovereign wisdom, had not given children. This command was not heard in isolation but in the context of the family of God.
    That is significant because God has not designed parents to nourish their children alone. He has given the local church as a gracious means of helping fathers and mothers bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
    The Holy Spirit unites people from every stage of life, every social class, every ethnicity, and every background into one body, where the wisdom of Christ is shared for the good of His people (1 Corinthians 12:12–27; Ephesians 4:11–16). Parents are the primary disciplers of their children, but they are not the only disciplers.
    Stacy and I have learned this firsthand. We have never parented our children in a vacuum. From the very beginning of our marriage, God has surrounded us with faithful pastors, Sunday school teachers, youth leaders, older saints, and godly friends who have instructed us in His Word, modeled faithful parenting, encouraged us when we were weary, and loved us enough to point out blind spots we could not see ourselves. Some of the most important conversations we have ever had as parents came because another believer cared enough to speak the truth to us in love.
    Our children have likewise been shaped by the church. They have watched faithful men love their wives, observed older women display Christlike gentleness, listened to Sunday school teachers faithfully explain God's Word, and been encouraged by brothers and sisters in Christ who reinforced at church what we were teaching at home. They have learned what life in the kingdom of God looks like, not only from their parents but from the family of God.
    What an encouragement this should be for those who are not mothers or fathers. Perhaps you are single. Perhaps you are widowed. Perhaps you long for children, but the Lord has not granted that desire. Do not believe the lie that this passage has little to say to you. Your ministry matters. Your example matters. Your prayers matter. Your encouragement matters. Every conversation you have with a child, every Bible lesson you teach, every act of kindness you show, and every example of faithful obedience contribute to the spiritual formation of the next generation. In God's household, it truly takes a church to raise a child for the glory of Christ. (note: Parents do not let your children decide if they come to church or not.)

    Formation that Nourishes is “of the Lord”

    The theological center of the entire command is found in the phrase "of the Lord." Fathers are not called to raise their children according to their own wisdom, preferences, frustrations, or ambitions. The Lord Himself establishes the standard. He inspires, prescribes, guides, and governs all true discipline and instruction. Fathers are not the ultimate authority in the home. They are under-shepherds serving under the authority of Christ.
    This means fathers do not discipline because they possess power. They discipline because the Lord commands it. They do not instruct according to personal opinion. They instruct according to the wisdom God has revealed in His Word. Fathers, your goal is not to create children who resemble yourself, heaven forbid, but children who resemble Christ.
    Research consistently shows that children flourish where high expectations are joined with high warmth. Every good coach understands this principle. A coach who only criticizes his athletes destroys the confidence of his athletes. A coach who only praises them never develops their skill. The best coaches correct mistakes while continually convincing their players they are capable of more.
    Our Heavenly Father disciplines His children in exactly this way. Hebrews 12:6 tells us, "For the Lord disciplines the one He loves." Yet at the same time, He continually reminds us of our identity in Christ. Through the gospel, the Father says to every believer what He first declared over His Son: "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17). Because we are united to Christ, we are both corrected and cherished by our Father.
    Dr. Timothy Paul Jones once said,
    “Children are gifts to be treasured and sinners to be trained.” Dr. Timothy Paul Jones
    I think the Father in heaven sees us the same way, and Fathers (and mothers) we need to see our child through the same lens. Children are a gift, love them as such. But they are also a responsibility. They need training. Speak truth. Give instruction. Offer warning. Provide encouragement. Correct sin. Celebrate growth. Teach the Word. Live the Word. And in all of it, point your children to the Lord whose discipline is perfect, whose wisdom is flawless, and whose love never fails.

    The Father Every father Needs

    Every father in this room feels the weight of Ephesians 6:4. Some of us see moments when we were too harsh. Others see moments when we were too passive. Some children still carry wounds from our failures. The answer is not trying harder. The answer is Christ. Jesus reveals the perfect Father. The Father who speaks truth. The Father who disciplines in love. The Father who delights in His children. The Father who sent His Son to rescue failing fathers and wounded children alike. At the cross, Jesus died for every sinful failure of fatherhood. At the resurrection, He secured the grace needed to become the fathers God calls us to be.
    So fathers, look to Christ. Lead with authority. Speak with affirmation. Correct with gentleness. Encourage with joy. And let your children see in your imperfect fatherhood a glimpse of their perfect heavenly Father.
    As Charles Spurgeon said:

    "The father who would train his child for heaven must himself walk the road that leads there." Charles Spurgeon

    Fathers, walk closely with Christ, and lead your children to do the same. Amen

      • Ephesians 6:4ESV

      • Deuteronomy 6:6–7ESV

  • The Prodigal
First Baptist Church Litchfield
pastorjason.fbcl@gmail.com
217-324-4232
http://www.firstbaptistlitchfield.org/
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