Mills Memorial Baptist Church
Sunday Morning Worship 6/14
  • I Will Sing the Wondrous Story
  • Choir Song
  • He Will Hold Me Fast
  • Seek ye First

      • 1 Timothy 4:12–16KJV1900

      • 1 Timothy 4:12-14KJV1900

      • 1 Timothy 4:15-16KJV1900

  • 1 Timothy 4:12–16
    Last week we began our series “Strength for the Home” by looking at the foundation.
    Jesus said the wise man built his house upon a rock.
    The house stood, not because storms never came, but because it was built on the right foundation.
    A strong home begins with Christ.
    A strong marriage begins with Christ.
    A strong future begins with Christ.
    But once the foundation is right, the builder still matters.
    A house may have a good foundation, but if the builder is careless, the house will still have problems.
    The same is true in relationships.
    Many people ask, “How do I find the right person?”
    That is not a bad question.
    But there is a better question to ask first.
    “How do I become the right person?”
    Before God uses you to build a strong home with someone else, He wants to build spiritual strength in you.
    That is important for teenagers who may one day marry.
    It is important for singles who are waiting on God’s direction.
    It is important for dating couples who are trying to discern whether a relationship is wise.
    It is important for married couples who realize there are places in the marriage where they need to grow.
    It is even important for parents and grandparents who are helping the next generation think biblically about marriage.
    The person you are becoming now affects the home you are building now or may build later.
    1 Timothy 4:12–16 says
    12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 14 Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery. 15 Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. 16 Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.
    Paul is writing to Timothy, a younger man serving the Lord.
    He tells him not to waste his youth.
    He tells him to be an example.
    He tells him to give attention to the Word.
    He tells him to take heed to himself and to the doctrine.
    That is exactly the kind of truth we need when we think about marriage and the home.
    A strong home is not built by finding someone perfect.
    It is built by imperfect people who are being shaped by Christ.
    Tonight I want to give you three truths about becoming the kind of person who can help build a home that honors God.

    I. Grow in Personal Character

    Paul says, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers.”
    Timothy was young, but Paul did not treat youth as an excuse for immaturity.
    He told Timothy to be an example.
    That matters because character is not something you suddenly develop when you get married.
    Marriage reveals character more than it creates it.
    If a person is selfish before marriage, marriage will reveal it.
    If a person is dishonest before marriage, marriage will reveal it.
    If a person is lazy before marriage, marriage will reveal it.
    If a person is spiritually careless before marriage, marriage will reveal it.
    A wedding ceremony can change your status, but it does not automatically change your character.
    That is why we need to let God work in us now.

    A. Be Faithful in Your Words

    Paul says to be an example “in word.”
    The words we speak reveal the condition of the heart.
    Jesus said in Matthew 12:34,
    Matthew 12:34 KJV
    34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
    That means the way a person talks before marriage often gives a preview of how that person will talk in marriage.
    A sharp tongue does not become gentle just because vows are spoken.
    A critical spirit does not become kind just because rings are exchanged.
    A habit of lying does not become truthfulness just because someone says, “I do.”
    A strong home needs people who are learning to speak under the control of Christ.
    That begins before marriage.
    Teenagers, learn now that your words matter.
    Don’t use sarcasm as a weapon and then expect one day to build a tender marriage.
    Don’t excuse dishonesty now and expect trust to be easy later.
    Singles and dating couples, pay attention to how someone speaks.
    How do they talk to their parents?
    How do they talk to their siblings?
    How do they talk about authority?
    How do they talk when they are angry?
    How do they talk about people who cannot benefit them?
    Married couples, one of the quickest ways to strengthen the home is to ask God to sanctify your speech.
    Some homes don’t need a new house, a new schedule, or a new budget as much as they need new words.
    Words can wound, but words can also heal.
    Proverbs 15:1 KJV
    1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger.
    Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do in your home is answer softly.

    B. Be Faithful in Your Walk

    Paul also says to be an example “in conversation,” which speaks of manner of life.
    He is talking about conduct.
    A strong home needs more than good intentions.
    It needs a consistent walk.
    What we do daily matters.
    Our habits matter.
    Our private choices matter.
    Our entertainment matters.
    Our work ethic matters.
    Our purity matters.
    Our church faithfulness matters.
    Our attitude toward correction matters.
    People sometimes think, “I will live how I want now, and later I’ll settle down.”
    But you don’t build a life of righteousness on a foundation of careless choices.
    Galatians 6:7 KJV
    7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
    That is not meant to crush us.
    It is meant to sober us.
    The choices you sow now will grow into something later.
    If you sow selfishness, you’ll reap selfishness.
    But If you sow purity, you’ll reap strength.
    If you sow honesty, you’ll reap trust.
    If you sow spiritual discipline, you’ll reap stability.
    Young people, what you are becoming now matters.
    Don’t believe the lie that your choices today have nothing to do with your future home.
    Singles, don’t live like your season of singleness is wasted time.
    Use it to become steady, faithful, and fruitful for Christ.
    Married couples, don’t wait for your spouse to grow before you take your next step.
    Ask God, “Lord, what kind of example am I in this home?”
    The first truth is that we must grow in personal character.

    II. Grow in Christlike Love

    Paul tells Timothy to be an example “in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
    These are not small things.
    These are the inner qualities that shape how we love others.
    Marriage is not held together by attraction alone.
    It is not held together by personality alone.
    It is not held together by shared interests alone.
    A strong marriage needs Christlike love.

    A. Love With Sacrifice

    Paul says to be an example “in charity.”
    Biblical love is not just a feeling.
    It is not just chemistry.
    It is not just romance.
    Biblical love seeks the good of another person before self.
    That is why Ephesians 5:25 says,
    Ephesians 5:25 KJV
    25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
    Christlike love gives itself.
    It serves.
    It sacrifices.
    It does not keep score.
    It does not say, “I will do my part if you do your part.”
    It says, “How can I honor Christ by loving you well?”
    That kind of love matters before marriage too.
    If someone is selfish while dating, don’tassume they will become selfless in marriage.
    If someone uses pressure, manipulation, anger, or guilt to get what they want, that is not love.
    If someone says, “If you love me, you will compromise your purity,” that is not love.
    Love does not lead someone away from God.
    Love helps someone obey God.
    If you are married, this is where many homes need daily grace.
    It is easy to slide into selfishness.
    We start thinking about what we are not getting, how we are not being appreciated, and how tired we are.
    Those feelings may be real, but they cannot be allowed to rule the home.
    Christlike love says, “Lord, help me love in a way that reflects You.”
    That does not mean ignoring sin or enabling destructive behavior.
    There are times love must speak truth, seek help, and set wise boundaries.
    But even then, biblical love is not selfish revenge.
    It is obedience to Christ.

    B. Live With Purity

    Paul also says to be an example “in purity.”
    Purity matters because the heart matters.
    Purity is not only about what someone has or has not done physically.
    It includes the mind, the eyes, the desires, the motives, and the private life.
    1 Thessalonians 4:3 KJV
    3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
    God’s will is not mysterious in this area.
    He calls His people to purity.
    That is direct, but it is also loving.
    God is not trying to rob people of joy.
    He is protecting something holy.
    Sexual intimacy is God’s good gift for the covenant of marriage.
    When we take God’s gift outside God’s design, it brings wounds, confusion, guilt, and broken trust.
    Young people, decide now that your body belongs to the Lord.
    Don’t wait until temptation is strong to decide what obedience looks like.
    Dating couples, purity does not happen by accident.
    You need boundaries before you need them.
    You need accountability before you are in trouble.
    You need enough humility to say, “We want to honor God more than we want to satisfy ourselves.”
    Married couples, purity still matters after the wedding.
    Guard your eyes.
    Guard your phone.
    Guard your conversations.
    Guard your emotional attachments.
    Guard your heart from anyone or anything that pulls affection away from your spouse.
    For those who have failed, hear this clearly.
    Sin is real, but grace is greater.
    Don’t excuse sin, but don’t run from the Saviour.
    1 John 1:9 KJV
    9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
    You may not be able to change the past, but you can walk in purity from here.
    If you need help in your marriage, put your pride aside and come talk to your pastor!
    It will be kept confidential, but I will take the Word of God and show you how to apply it to your problems.
    The second truth is that we must grow in Christlike love.

    III. Grow in Spiritual Direction

    Paul tells Timothy, “Give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.”
    Then he says, “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them.”
    Timothy was not supposed to drift.
    He was supposed to give attention to the Word, watch his own life, and continue faithfully.
    That is what every strong home needs.
    It needs spiritual direction.

    A. Stay Rooted in Truth

    Paul tells Timothy to give attendance to reading and doctrine.
    That means the Word of God had to remain central.
    A home will not be stronger than the truth it is built on.
    If the Bible is rarely opened, rarely discussed, and rarely obeyed, the home will drift toward the world.
    That does not mean every family devotion has to be long or complicated.
    It means the Word of God must have authority in the home.
    Deuteronomy 6:6–7 KJV
    6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
    That is not describing a home where God is only mentioned at church.
    That is describing a home where truth is woven into life.
    Parents, don’t underestimate small spiritual conversations.
    Talk about the sermon.
    Use the Family Devotion Guide at the dinner table, or just before bed.
    Talk about the Bible.
    Talk about why certain choices honor God.
    Talk about dating before your children are dating.
    Talk about marriage before the world teaches them its version.
    Grandparents, your influence matters too.
    A simple word of Scripture, a prayer, a testimony, or a conversation can help shape the next generation.
    Singles and teens, root your life in truth now.
    Don’t wait for a future spouse to become spiritually serious.
    Be serious about Christ now.

    B. Continue With Care

    Paul says, “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them.”
    That phrase “take heed” means we must pay attention.
    Pay attention to your heart.
    Pay attention to your habits.
    Pay attention to your doctrine.
    Pay attention to the direction your life is moving.
    Many homes don’t weaken all at once.
    They drift.
    It starts with Small Neglect
    Less prayer
    Less Scripture
    Unkind words
    Compromise
    Ignored problems
    Then You get SPIRITUAL DRIFT
    Church becomes optional
    World's influence grows
    Truth is ignored
    Hearts grow distant
    Priorities change
    Then you start seeing RELATIONAL DISTANCE
    Communication weakens
    Affection cools
    Trust is damaged
    Resentment builds
    Unity is lost
    Words become sharper.
    Screens become more influential.
    This is where you start to see SERIOUS DAMAGE
    Deep hurt
    Broken relationships
    Lasting consequences
    Harder to restore
    The home suffers
    Bitterness gets comfortable.
    And over time, the home is not where it used to be.
    That is why Paul says, “Continue.”
    Keep going.
    Keep watching.
    Keep obeying.
    Keep returning to truth.
    Keep humbling yourself.
    Keep asking God to work in you.
    Philippians 1:6 KJV
    6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
    That is hopeful.
    God is not done working in you.
    He is not done working in your marriage.
    He is not done working in your children.
    But we must keep yielding ourselves to Him.
    If you are preparing for marriage, don’t just look for someone who is attractive.
    Look for someone who is continuing with Christ.
    If you are dating, ask whether you are both moving toward Christ or away from Him.
    If you are married, ask whether your home is drifting or growing.
    If you have made mistakes, don’t let shame keep you from taking the next right step.
    Continue.
    Come back to the Lord.
    Let Him strengthen what has become weak.

    Conclusion

    Many years ago, before a major building project, builders would spend a great deal of time preparing the materials before the structure ever went up.
    The casual observer might have thought nothing was happening.
    But beams were being measured.
    Stones were being shaped.
    Plans were being studied.
    Weak pieces were being rejected.
    Strong pieces were being prepared.
    The preparation mattered because the building mattered.
    That is what God is doing in His people.
    Before He builds through us, He builds in us.
    Before He strengthens the home through us, He strengthens the heart within us.
    So don’t only ask, “How do I find the right person?”
    Ask, “Lord, how do You want to make me the right kind of person?”
    Make me faithful in my words.
    Make me faithful in my walk.
    Make me loving.
    Make me pure.
    Make me rooted in truth.
    Make me careful to continue.
    A strong home is not built by perfect people.
    It is built by surrendered people who keep letting Christ shape them.
    Teenager, let Christ shape you now.
    Single adult, let Christ make this season fruitful.
    Dating couple, let Christ lead the relationship.
    Married couple, let Christ begin His work in you before you demand it in your spouse.
    Parent or grandparent, keep pointing the next generation toward the Lord.
    The home is strengthened when the people in it are being strengthened by Christ.
    And if you don’t know Christ as your Saviour, this is where the work must begin.
    You cannot become the person God calls you to be without first being made new in Christ.
    Jesus died for your sins.
    He was buried.
    He rose again.
    He offers forgiveness and new life to all who will repent and believe on Him.
    2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV
    17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
    That can be true for you today.
    Christ can save you.
    Christ can forgive you.
    Christ can make you new.
    And Christian, He can keep changing you.
    He can change your words.
    He can change your walk.
    He can change your desires.
    He can change your priorities.
    He can change the way you love.
    He can change the way you build.
    You may not be able to rebuild the past, but by God’s grace you can strengthen the home from here.
    Invitation
    With heads bowed and eyes closed, let me ask first, do you know Christ as your Saviour?
    Have you personally trusted Jesus Christ to forgive your sins and save your soul?
    If you can say “Pastor, I know Christ is my Savior!” can you raise your hand right now.
    Maybe you say, Pastor, I couldn’t raise my hand…
    Christian, what is the Lord showing you about the person you are becoming?
    Maybe you need to ask God to change your words.
    Maybe you need to surrender a private habit.
    Maybe you need to seek forgiveness.
    Maybe you need to set new boundaries in a relationship.
    Maybe you need to start taking spiritual leadership more seriously.
    Maybe you simply need to say, “Lord, keep working in me.”
    As we sing this verse of invitation, would you do business with God?
    Before God builds through us, He builds in us.
    May God help us become the kind of people who can help build homes that honor Him.

      • Matthew 12:34KJV1900

      • Proverbs 15:1KJV1900

      • Galatians 6:7KJV1900

      • Ephesians 5:25KJV1900

      • 1 Thessalonians 4:3KJV1900

      • 1 John 1:9KJV1900

      • Deuteronomy 6:6–7KJV1900

      • Philippians 1:6KJV1900

      • 2 Corinthians 5:17KJV1900

  • Jesus Is Tenderly Calling
Mills Memorial Baptist Church
millsmemorialbapt@gmail.com
989-843-6433
https://millsmemorial.faithlifesites.com
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