occurred to me, maybe God wanted it to be this way, if He could have stopped it, but didn't, then it is reasonable to assume that He wanted this to be. My tears dried up, and a certain calm and comfort came over me, God was in control after-all. Since that time, I came to believe that God has given me a specific task to perform (unless I have act I will never make it in the end, I am on the wide road that leads to destruction.