Why Does God Say "Yes" to Some Prayers and "No" to Others?
This past Sunday, we looked at "The Lord's Prayer" in Matthew 6. It got me thinking about prayer in general.
Why does God answer “Yes” to some prayers and answer “No” to others?
What a tough question. And at the risk of ending this blog just a few sentences in, my ultimate answer is, “I don’t know.”
But it is worth pondering.
All of us have had prayers that were answered with a clear, wonderful, “YES!” and we marvel at God’s goodness, are humbled by His attention. Our “spiritual confidence” (if there is such a thing) is boosted and we are emboldened to pray more, to perhaps even solicit other people’s needs so we can pray for them because we think we’ve finally figured “it” out. “It” being, “How to pray effective prayers that get results.”
Also true for all of us are those prayers we have prayed that God has said “No” to. Sometimes we say “unanswered prayer,” but I think, “Answered in a way we did not desire” is a better description. For me, and others who have talked to me, these prayers are 1) heartfelt, 2) offered in faith, 3) are important (at least in our economy), 4) are unselfish most of the time, 5) make perfect sense in our logic, that a good God would answer the way we’ve figured it all out.
What is the difference?
Sad, sad story alert.
Several years ago, I had a friend, Rick, who was diagnosed with leukemia. Rick and his wife had lost a son to a terrible disease many years before; they had a daughter who had recently been married. I, along with many others, prayed for Rick’s leukemia to go into remission. It did! We praised and thanked God.
His daughter got pregnant (another praise) but then Rick’s leukemia returned … with a vengeance. We prayed again that he would be healed, that it would go into remission (God did it once, He can do it again! … but why did God allow it to return in the first place? No time to ponder that – I just need to pray). Rick did not get better, he got worse.
As the weeks ticked by, it was clear that Rick was not going to survive this resurgence of leukemia. So our prayers shifted. “God, please keep Rick alive long enough to see his grand-baby.” It was a weekly and daily prayer.
At the time, my two sons were young and praying for Rick was part of our nightly routine (his pregnant daughter had been their frequent babysitter, so they knew them well). Even if my prayers were inadequate, certainly God would listen to the pleas of two young, innocent children whose faith might be impacted if their prayers received a “no.” Right?
As the due date loomed closer, Rick’s condition worsened. Our prayers became more fervent.
One Sunday, we came home from church to find a message on our answering machine. Rick had passed away that morning; his daughter was in labor. She gave birth just three hours later.
Three hours.
Truth be told, I don’t know if Rick would have been conscious enough to even know he had a granddaughter if he had lived a few ours longer or if she had given birth the night before. But after months of prayer, asking for what amounted to a three-hour extension seemed easy enough.
But God said, “No.”
Now, my faith is not/was not shaken. I did not doubt or blame or even get angry at God. I cried; I asked; I wondered … I still wonder and still tell God, “I don’t understand.”
And I don’t. Here I am, a preacher/minister, teaching and preaching on prayer and I have not the first clue how prayer “works.” That is, I don’t know why God says “Yes” to some prayers (and let’s be honest, some of the things God says “yes” to are pretty minor compared to letting my friend Rick live just three more hours – or at least, in my little, finite, flawed, human brain they seem minor) and says “No” to some pretty, big, important things … like healing people we love from terrible diseases or protecting them from tragic accidents.
I don’t know why God says “Yes” to some prayers and “No” to others.
But here is what I know:
· God hears and answers prayer (1 Peter 3:12, 1 John 5:15)
· God will do whatever we ask (inside of His will; if we ask with faith; if we ask through our Mediator, Jesus Christ – Matthew 6:10, John 14:14, James 1:6)
· God told some people in the Bible, “No!” when they prayed; most notably, His own Son in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36ff) but also Paul (Acts 16:6-7, 2 Corinthians 12:8-9), John the Baptist (I can’t imagine John and his disciples NOT praying for his release from prison and not only was he kept in prison, he was beheaded there), 11 of the 12 disciples died tragic, painful, martyr’s deaths – I cannot imagine all of them facing that without praying for God to deliver them, and God said, “no.”
I also know this:
· God is not cruel, forgetful, inattentive, capricious, petty, able to be manipulated, or anything like that.
· God is good, faithful, always right, always has our best interest at heart … did I mention that He is always right, always good?
· Many, many things of this world do not make sense to me and will not make sense to me until that Day when all will be revealed.
Natalie Grant has song out that has been playing on contemporary Christian music radio, “More Than Anything.” Although the whole song has thought-provoking lyrics, the chorus begins, “Help me want the Healer more than the healing.”
I cannot help but wonder if some of our “unanswered prayers” are in someway connected to that sentiment. After all, (speaking at least for myself), if I got a “yes” from God for everything I asked for, how long would it be before my prayers turned totally selfish and self-serving? I know that I would crave the healing more than the Healer. (It pains and shames me to admit it, but it is true.) Would I be tempted to farm out my awesome prayer life to others as a means of granting favors or currying favor? Would I become prideful and boastful that when I pray, God listens?
I’m not saying that God says “no” just to teach me a lesson and keep me humble. I’m confident His reasons are bigger than my stupidity and pride. But I do not want to dismiss the truth that a God who says “Yes” to every request simply because we want Him to is not a faithful, wise, righteous God.
Oh, I also know this: God wants me to pray. He does not want me to pray for results. He does not want me to pray to earn “spiritual points.” He does not want me to pray to occupy space on my schedule or to keep the food from causing indigestion. He wants me to pray because He loves me and He wants to talk to me. And that is humbling and loving and more than reason enough.
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Matthew 6:9–13 (ESV)
Why Does God Say "Yes" to Some Prayers and "No" to Others?
This past Sunday, we looked at "The Lord's Prayer" in Matthew 6. It got me thinking about prayer in general.
Why does God answer “Yes” to some prayers and answer “No” to others?
What a tough question. And at the risk of ending this blog just a few sentences in, my ultimate answer is, “I don’t know.”
But it is worth pondering.
All of us have had prayers that were answered with a clear, wonderful, “YES!” and we marvel at God’s goodness, are humbled by His attention. Our “spiritual confidence” (if there is such a thing) is boosted and we are emboldened to pray more, to perhaps even solicit other people’s needs so we can pray for them because we think we’ve finally figured “it” out. “It” being, “How to pray effective prayers that get results.”
Also true for all of us are those prayers we have prayed that God has said “No” to. Sometimes we say “unanswered prayer,” but I think, “Answered in a way we did not desire” is a better description. For me, and others who have talked to me, these prayers are 1) heartfelt, 2) offered in faith, 3) are important (at least in our economy), 4) are unselfish most of the time, 5) make perfect sense in our logic, that a good God would answer the way we’ve figured it all out.
What is the difference?
Sad, sad story alert.
Several years ago, I had a friend, Rick, who was diagnosed with leukemia. Rick and his wife had lost a son to a terrible disease many years before; they had a daughter who had recently been married. I, along with many others, prayed for Rick’s leukemia to go into remission. It did! We praised and thanked God.
His daughter got pregnant (another praise) but then Rick’s leukemia returned … with a vengeance. We prayed again that he would be healed, that it would go into remission (God did it once, He can do it again! … but why did God allow it to return in the first place? No time to ponder that – I just need to pray). Rick did not get better, he got worse.
As the weeks ticked by, it was clear that Rick was not going to survive this resurgence of leukemia. So our prayers shifted. “God, please keep Rick alive long enough to see his grand-baby.” It was a weekly and daily prayer.
At the time, my two sons were young and praying for Rick was part of our nightly routine (his pregnant daughter had been their frequent babysitter, so they knew them well). Even if my prayers were inadequate, certainly God would listen to the pleas of two young, innocent children whose faith might be impacted if their prayers received a “no.” Right?
As the due date loomed closer, Rick’s condition worsened. Our prayers became more fervent.
One Sunday, we came home from church to find a message on our answering machine. Rick had passed away that morning; his daughter was in labor. She gave birth just three hours later.
Three hours.
Truth be told, I don’t know if Rick would have been conscious enough to even know he had a granddaughter if he had lived a few ours longer or if she had given birth the night before. But after months of prayer, asking for what amounted to a three-hour extension seemed easy enough.
But God said, “No.”
Now, my faith is not/was not shaken. I did not doubt or blame or even get angry at God. I cried; I asked; I wondered … I still wonder and still tell God, “I don’t understand.”
And I don’t. Here I am, a preacher/minister, teaching and preaching on prayer and I have not the first clue how prayer “works.” That is, I don’t know why God says “Yes” to some prayers (and let’s be honest, some of the things God says “yes” to are pretty minor compared to letting my friend Rick live just three more hours – or at least, in my little, finite, flawed, human brain they seem minor) and says “No” to some pretty, big, important things … like healing people we love from terrible diseases or protecting them from tragic accidents.
I don’t know why God says “Yes” to some prayers and “No” to others.
But here is what I know:
· God hears and answers prayer (1 Peter 3:12, 1 John 5:15)
· God will do whatever we ask (inside of His will; if we ask with faith; if we ask through our Mediator, Jesus Christ – Matthew 6:10, John 14:14, James 1:6)
· God told some people in the Bible, “No!” when they prayed; most notably, His own Son in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36ff) but also Paul (Acts 16:6-7, 2 Corinthians 12:8-9), John the Baptist (I can’t imagine John and his disciples NOT praying for his release from prison and not only was he kept in prison, he was beheaded there), 11 of the 12 disciples died tragic, painful, martyr’s deaths – I cannot imagine all of them facing that without praying for God to deliver them, and God said, “no.”
I also know this:
· God is not cruel, forgetful, inattentive, capricious, petty, able to be manipulated, or anything like that.
· God is good, faithful, always right, always has our best interest at heart … did I mention that He is always right, always good?
· Many, many things of this world do not make sense to me and will not make sense to me until that Day when all will be revealed.
Natalie Grant has song out that has been playing on contemporary Christian music radio, “More Than Anything.” Although the whole song has thought-provoking lyrics, the chorus begins, “Help me want the Healer more than the healing.”
I cannot help but wonder if some of our “unanswered prayers” are in someway connected to that sentiment. After all, (speaking at least for myself), if I got a “yes” from God for everything I asked for, how long would it be before my prayers turned totally selfish and self-serving? I know that I would crave the healing more than the Healer. (It pains and shames me to admit it, but it is true.) Would I be tempted to farm out my awesome prayer life to others as a means of granting favors or currying favor? Would I become prideful and boastful that when I pray, God listens?
I’m not saying that God says “no” just to teach me a lesson and keep me humble. I’m confident His reasons are bigger than my stupidity and pride. But I do not want to dismiss the truth that a God who says “Yes” to every request simply because we want Him to is not a faithful, wise, righteous God.
Oh, I also know this: God wants me to pray. He does not want me to pray for results. He does not want me to pray to earn “spiritual points.” He does not want me to pray to occupy space on my schedule or to keep the food from causing indigestion. He wants me to pray because He loves me and He wants to talk to me. And that is humbling and loving and more than reason enough.
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Matthew 6:9–13 (ESV)