On May 8, 2020, Husband died as the result of a massive heart attack a week earlier. He never fully regained consciousness. This was not ‘the plan’. I was always the one with the health problems. Plans were made around me ‘going home’ first, not he. Husband kept his weight within reason, walked 45 minutes every day, never ate dessert, and never smoked or drank. He obeyed his doctor. How could it be? Apparently, he had a form of heart disease that may be hereditary.
Hindsight being perfect, I can now see all the signs:
the slowing down, the need to rest often, leaving me to carry in the groceries. Am I to blame? The pandemic caused Husband to postpone his yearly checkup. Would his doctor have caught the problem then? Is COVID 19 to blame? A doctor at the hospital found a scan taken many years ago that showed the heart problem. Was some doctor to blame for not telling Husband about it? Or did Leo know and was to blame for not facing the problem? The Blame Game! I have chosen not to play it.
Leo made a confession of faith as a teenager. He was active in church until the last 20 years or so and then attended but seemed disinterested. Perhaps things were changing too fast for him. Never a ‘spiritual’ guy, he was nevertheless more ‘clean living’ than anyone I know. His death has brought to light his many acts of charity. Calls, cards (65 so far) and visits from folks I do not know who sing Leo’s praises, tell what a great guy he was, how he was always smiling, how he helped them through tough times, how he gave advice or money. He never told me any of it. No one could keep a confidence better than Leo Phillips.
Leo and I had great plans. God has a greater one.
“Do not boast about tomorrow, For you do not know what a day may bring forth. Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips.”
Great Plans - Anne Phillips
On May 8, 2020, Husband died as the result of a massive heart attack a week earlier. He never fully regained consciousness. This was not ‘the plan’. I was always the one with the health problems. Plans were made around me ‘going home’ first, not he. Husband kept his weight within reason, walked 45 minutes every day, never ate dessert, and never smoked or drank. He obeyed his doctor. How could it be? Apparently, he had a form of heart disease that may be hereditary.
Hindsight being perfect, I can now see all the signs:
the slowing down, the need to rest often, leaving me to carry in the groceries. Am I to blame? The pandemic caused Husband to postpone his yearly checkup. Would his doctor have caught the problem then? Is COVID 19 to blame? A doctor at the hospital found a scan taken many years ago that showed the heart problem. Was some doctor to blame for not telling Husband about it? Or did Leo know and was to blame for not facing the problem? The Blame Game! I have chosen not to play it.
Leo made a confession of faith as a teenager. He was active in church until the last 20 years or so and then attended but seemed disinterested. Perhaps things were changing too fast for him. Never a ‘spiritual’ guy, he was nevertheless more ‘clean living’ than anyone I know. His death has brought to light his many acts of charity. Calls, cards (65 so far) and visits from folks I do not know who sing Leo’s praises, tell what a great guy he was, how he was always smiling, how he helped them through tough times, how he gave advice or money. He never told me any of it. No one could keep a confidence better than Leo Phillips.
Leo and I had great plans. God has a greater one.
“Do not boast about tomorrow, For you do not know what a day may bring forth. Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips.”