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Secular - A young, energetic pastor was appointed to a very old, traditional church. On his first Sunday, he noticed that during the singing of the Invitation, the entire left side of the congregation stood up, while the entire right side stayed sitting down. The two sides started glaring at each other,…

Secular - A young man was walking through town and saw a sign in a pet store window: "Religious Parrot for Sale – $500." Intrigued, he went inside. The owner pointed to a beautiful green parrot. "This bird is amazing," the owner said. "If you pull the string on his right leg, he recites the Lord's Prayer.…

Secular - A mother was pushing her double stroller through the park when an elderly woman stopped her. "Oh, what beautiful children!" the woman exclaimed. "How old are they?" The mother straightened up and said, "The Doctor is three, and the Lawyer is only six months." Historical/Cultural Context - This…

Secular - A man dies and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. Peter meets him and says, "Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to get into Heaven. You tell me what you’ve done, and I’ll tell you how many points it’s worth." The man feels pretty confident. "Well," he says, "I was married to the same…

Secular - A man was talking to God and asked, "Lord, what is a million years to you?" God said, "To me, a million years is like a second." The man asked, "And what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "To me, a million dollars is like a penny." The man thought for a moment and said, "Lord, can I have…

Secular - "A man and his wife were having a bit of a disagreement about who should make the coffee in the morning. The wife said, 'You should do it. You’re already up and moving around before I am.' The husband said, 'No, you’re the cook of the household. That’s your domain. You should handle the coffee.'…

Secular - A pastor was preaching on Matthew 18 and got particularly fired up during the third point. He leaned over the pulpit and shouted, "Is there anyone here who can honestly say they have forgiven every single person who ever 'trespassed' against them?" To his surprise, a 92-year-old man in the…

Secular - A young, ambitious man had just started his own business and rented a fancy office in downtown. He wanted to look like a "big deal," so he spent a lot of money on mahogany furniture and expensive suits. As he was sitting there, he saw a man walking toward his door. Wanting to look incredibly…

Secular - "A man was walking along a narrow mountain ridge when he accidentally slipped over the edge. Luckily, he managed to grab a sturdy branch and was hanging there, thousands of feet above the rocks below. He looked up toward heaven and yelled, 'Is anyone up there?! Help me!' Suddenly, a booming…

Secular - There was a man who had been a faithful member of his church for 50 years. He sat in the exact same spot—third pew from the front, left side—every single Sunday. It was practically his "monument." One Sunday, he arrived to find a young visitor sitting in "his" spot. The usher, sensing a crisis,…