In my early Christian life, I became quickly aware that being a Christian granted me no immunity from hardship and pain. I still suffered from heartache and loss. I still must endure the effects of Bipolar Disorder. In fact, God did not give me eternal life free from human existence. He did, however, give me a new life – a life far more abundant than my earlier life. For a while, I saw my new life as overflowing with an abundance of pain and struggle. However, I was also aware that, for some strange reason, I did not respond to these things in my usual fashion.
From the moment I knew that my life had undergone a drastic change, I saw an unchanged world around me. When at first, I thought my life turned upside down, it was quite the opposite. My life had been upside down and tossed about for as long as I could remember. For the first time in my natural life, I thought I was on top of the world and was only on my feet. However, it did not take long before I was back on my knees.
In the blink of an eye, everything about me radically changed. There was no feeling of change other than the zero-gravity effect I experienced as I peeled myself off the floor in front of the altar. It was out of character for me to hang around after church and visit. In an instant, God took smoking cigarettes and drinking out of my life. I did not lose the taste either. Something in me did not want it so, I just did not partake any longer. I thought it strange because I had tried over and over to stop smoking cigarettes or consuming alcohol without any degree of success. After an hour and a half service at church (most of which I have no recollection) and just like that, I do not smoke, drink, or curse.
For twenty-nine years, I was a wreck, and I gave up on ever being any different or having any kind of life other than my miserable, hopeless existence. Today, I feel more, I see more, I experience more than I ever did my first twenty-nine years. God changed me on the inside, not the world outside. Although, I still struggle, I go through various trials, and suffer hardship and tribulation, there is nothing and there is no one who can convince me that there is no God. I am infinitely certain that God is love and that He loves me. It was His love that rescued me and sustained me ever since. Therefore, I am not ashamed to say that I fall on my knees, and with all that is within me, I will bless the Lord!
God love you and He always has. When you wonder where He is, it’s because you wondered off. He is wanting you to return to Him, especially when you are broken.
Fall on My Knees
In my early Christian life, I became quickly aware that being a Christian granted me no immunity from hardship and pain. I still suffered from heartache and loss. I still must endure the effects of Bipolar Disorder. In fact, God did not give me eternal life free from human existence. He did, however, give me a new life – a life far more abundant than my earlier life. For a while, I saw my new life as overflowing with an abundance of pain and struggle. However, I was also aware that, for some strange reason, I did not respond to these things in my usual fashion.
From the moment I knew that my life had undergone a drastic change, I saw an unchanged world around me. When at first, I thought my life turned upside down, it was quite the opposite. My life had been upside down and tossed about for as long as I could remember. For the first time in my natural life, I thought I was on top of the world and was only on my feet. However, it did not take long before I was back on my knees.
In the blink of an eye, everything about me radically changed. There was no feeling of change other than the zero-gravity effect I experienced as I peeled myself off the floor in front of the altar. It was out of character for me to hang around after church and visit. In an instant, God took smoking cigarettes and drinking out of my life. I did not lose the taste either. Something in me did not want it so, I just did not partake any longer. I thought it strange because I had tried over and over to stop smoking cigarettes or consuming alcohol without any degree of success. After an hour and a half service at church (most of which I have no recollection) and just like that, I do not smoke, drink, or curse.
For twenty-nine years, I was a wreck, and I gave up on ever being any different or having any kind of life other than my miserable, hopeless existence. Today, I feel more, I see more, I experience more than I ever did my first twenty-nine years. God changed me on the inside, not the world outside. Although, I still struggle, I go through various trials, and suffer hardship and tribulation, there is nothing and there is no one who can convince me that there is no God. I am infinitely certain that God is love and that He loves me. It was His love that rescued me and sustained me ever since. Therefore, I am not ashamed to say that I fall on my knees, and with all that is within me, I will bless the Lord!
God love you and He always has. When you wonder where He is, it’s because you wondered off. He is wanting you to return to Him, especially when you are broken.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me,
bless His holy name (Psalms 103:1).