CO301 Counseling Women Affected by Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence
Unit 2 - Domestic Abuse
By Dave Owen
This subject of Domestic Abuse hits my heart at a level that is hard to articulate as it opposes how God designed and created us to be, in his image. The brokenness of mankind unfortunately is revealed in families that experience abuse. Mathew 18:3-6 states “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” As we unpack these verses, God reveals the heart of a child. This is important to our Lord and he is asking us to come to him with humble hearts, seeking a loving father, and in this, God can start the work of transforming us. And we can participate in his Kingdom plan. If we could only remember this in all we do, that God is concerned about our heart and all his work is done through us when we humble ourselves, then he can use our gifts for his glory. And we must realize that children hold a special place in our Lord’s heart, and he did when we were children as well. When we are loving and kind to children it is pleasing to him. But when a family member is abused, the consequences are extreme, and the entire family unit suffers. No one escapes the hurt and brokenness.
As I look to serve in the Chaplaincy capacity, I’m very aware that I’ll be coming alongside family members that are hurting, and per the statistic revealed in the course, the probability of ministering to the abused is very high, and I’ll continue to educate myself on this subject, and part of this will be to developing a referral list. I’ll compose a list of professional counselors who specialize in sexual abuse and domestic violence, and shelters, “List of safety”, etc. When I was in my early twenties, I was part of a ministry in my church that went to a shelter weekly to give the women a break by taking the kids to a playground while they attended Bible study or just allowing them to have some quiet time. It made me think that God might use me once again in ministering to families experience abuse, but this time as a Chaplain. My wife and I have a heart for this, and we are praying for God to lead us, and he will open the doors according to his will.
I loved that in this course the professor gave an example of the healing that happened to a client when they prayed a “healing prayer”. Inviting Jesus into the memory of the abusive moment and how an unexplainable thing happened. The client broke down and Jesus was healing her, knowing he experienced her pain with her, and that Jesus knows her like no other. It was the start of true healing. This is something I will remind myself often, during counseling and comforting moments, as people open up their hearts revealing deep hurts. I’m thinking this will work for people who have experienced trauma or sickness as well.
The teacher also mentioned many resources that I’ve added to my library and discovered links like the
https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/ that helps us to decern difference between a victim and a liar, and what can we do to spot the lie. Families are complex and being able to serve to help and not enable is critical. It seems to me that activate empathetic listening must be heightened and discernment through being prepared using all the education resources necessary, to be the catalyst for true and lasting healing. But most of all, realizing that God does the healing and the transformation. We are the “hands and feet” as the professor points out.
One additional shocking statistic was revealed, that there is a high rate of abuse in families or faith. And adults can use scripture to justify their behavior. It seems so evil, for anyone to demand through way in the name of the inspired word of God. I can see why families are damaged by such spiritual incest and family members are exploited very sick and damaging ways. And the brokenness can last a lifetime even when some form of forgiveness comes, trust might not ever be restored.
