Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is all about learning, respect, and growth on the mats. If you’ve been training for a little while, you’ve probably rolled with people of all different shapes, sizes, and skill levels. But for a lot of men, rolling with women can feel a little confusing at first. Do you go lighter? Do you roll the same way you do with other men? Do you hold back so you don’t hurt her? These questions pop up for almost everyone at some point, and they’re worth talking about.
The truth is that rolling with women in BJJ doesn’t have to be complicated. It just requires respect, awareness, and an open mindset. The same way you wouldn’t smash a beginner or crank on a submission with a 50-year-old training partner, you adapt your game to whoever’s in front of you. Women are no different in that regard—they’re training to get better, just like you are.
In this article, we’ll break down how to approach rolling with women in BJJ, what to avoid, and how to make those rounds productive for both you and your partner.
Respect Comes First
The most important thing when rolling with women—or anyone in BJJ, for that matter—is respect. When you slap hands and bump fists, you’re agreeing to train together. That means giving them the same courtesy and seriousness you’d expect in return.
Sometimes guys make the mistake of either going way too easy because they assume their female partner isn’t capable, or they go too hard to prove some kind of point. Both approaches miss the mark. A respectful roll is one where you’re controlled, intentional, and mindful of your partner’s body.
Think about it like this: your job isn’t to win. Your job is to make sure both of you leave the round a little better than when it started.
Ditch the Ego
Rolling with women can sometimes trigger weird ego stuff for men. Maybe you’re worried about being tapped out by someone smaller, or you don’t want to look like a jerk if you use too much strength. Here’s the thing: leave all that at the door.
If you get submitted, that’s not embarrassing—it’s just jiu-jitsu. Skill beats size and strength all the time, and women are no exception to that rule. If you’re more experienced, use that as a chance to practice control instead of domination. And if you’re newer, don’t underestimate what your partner might be able to do. Some of the most technical grapplers in the room are women who’ve learned to rely on timing and leverage rather than brute force.
Roll Smart, Not Careless
Women, just like men, come in all sizes. You might be paired with a featherweight blue belt or a heavyweight purple belt. Either way, you need to be aware of your size and power if you’re the bigger one.
That doesn’t mean you have to roll like you’re walking on eggshells. It just means you should control your weight distribution, avoid slamming into positions, and be mindful when applying submissions. For example:
Pressure passing: It’s fine to use pressure, but don’t collapse your entire weight into their rib cage with zero control.
Submissions: Apply them slowly and give your partner time to tap. You should do this with everyone, but it’s especially important if you outweigh your partner by 50 pounds.
Scrambles: Be careful during scrambles so you don’t accidentally knee or elbow your partner in the face.
Rolling smart isn’t about “going easy”—it’s about being controlled and technical.
Don’t Assume She Wants You to Go Light
One common mistake guys make is assuming their female partner wants them to go light. While sometimes that might be true, a lot of women actually get frustrated when guys treat them like they’re fragile. They’re at the gym to learn, improve, and test themselves, just like you are.
Instead of guessing, communicate. Before the roll, you can always ask something like, “Do you want me to go light, or are you good if I roll normal?” This shows respect and makes sure you’re on the same page.
And remember: “normal” doesn’t mean spazzing out or muscling through everything. It means using your technique, flowing, and rolling responsibly.
Learn From the Experience
Rolling with women can actually improve your jiu-jitsu in big ways. Since a lot of women are smaller and can’t rely on raw strength, they often develop extremely technical games. They get really good at using leverage, timing, and strategy.
When you roll with a skilled female grappler, pay attention to how she sets up her sweeps, controls distance, or creates angles for submissions. You might pick up details you’ve overlooked when rolling with bigger, stronger partners.
In other words, don’t just think about what you’re “giving” to the roll—think about what you’re learning from it.
Addressing the Awkwardness
Let’s be real for a second. For some guys, rolling with women can feel awkward, especially at first. BJJ is a close-contact sport, and you’re going to end up in positions that feel pretty personal. That’s just part of the art, and the more you train, the less weird it feels.
The key is to treat your partner like a teammate, not like a woman first and grappler second. Stay professional, keep your intentions clear, and focus on the training. If you’re respectful, the awkwardness fades away quickly.
What Not to Do
Sometimes the best way to understand how to roll is to look at what not to do. Here are a few big don’ts when training with women:
Don’t patronize. Saying things like “Wow, you’re really strong for a girl” is insulting and unnecessary.
Don’t crank submissions. Yanking an armbar or neck crank is dangerous for anyone. Apply pressure gradually.
Don’t avoid them. Some guys will skip rolling with women altogether. That’s disrespectful, and you’re missing out on valuable training.
Don’t assume weakness. Skill matters more than size or gender in BJJ. Don’t underestimate your partner.
Creating a Safe and Supportive Training Space
Every gym thrives when the culture is welcoming. If you’re training somewhere like piratebjj offers Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Gym, you’ll notice that the environment is built on community and support. Rolling with women should feel no different from rolling with men—it’s about learning together, respecting each other, and growing as a team.
Women often face unique challenges in martial arts, from being outnumbered to dealing with stereotypes. You can help create a positive environment by treating every training partner equally, encouraging their growth, and making sure the mats feel like a safe space for everyone.
Why Women Are Important Training Partners
Rolling with women brings a lot of benefits beyond just improving your technique. Women often bring a different perspective to training, and they’re a key part of building a well-rounded BJJ community.
They sharpen your technique. When you can’t rely on strength, you’re forced to refine your moves.
They bring variety. Training with different body types teaches you how to adapt your game.
They inspire growth. Many women juggle careers, families, and training. Their dedication is motivating.
When you roll with women, you’re not just getting another round in—you’re helping create a balanced, inclusive gym culture.
Camps, Events, and Growing Together
A lot of gyms hold events where men and women train side by side, building skills and friendships. For example, the Pirate BJJ Fall Break Camp is a great opportunity for everyone—regardless of gender—to sharpen techniques, drill fundamentals, and get in quality rolls. Camps like this reinforce the idea that BJJ is for everyone, and rolling with women is just a normal part of the journey.
Final Thoughts
Rolling with women in BJJ doesn’t need to be complicated. It comes down to respect, communication, and control. Don’t hold back out of fear, and don’t overcompensate with strength or ego. Treat every partner—man or woman—with the same courtesy, and you’ll not only improve your own game but also help create a stronger, more welcoming community on the mats.
How to Roll With Women in BJJ
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is all about learning, respect, and growth on the mats. If you’ve been training for a little while, you’ve probably rolled with people of all different shapes, sizes, and skill levels. But for a lot of men, rolling with women can feel a little confusing at first. Do you go lighter? Do you roll the same way you do with other men? Do you hold back so you don’t hurt her? These questions pop up for almost everyone at some point, and they’re worth talking about.
The truth is that rolling with women in BJJ doesn’t have to be complicated. It just requires respect, awareness, and an open mindset. The same way you wouldn’t smash a beginner or crank on a submission with a 50-year-old training partner, you adapt your game to whoever’s in front of you. Women are no different in that regard—they’re training to get better, just like you are.
In this article, we’ll break down how to approach rolling with women in BJJ, what to avoid, and how to make those rounds productive for both you and your partner.
Respect Comes First
The most important thing when rolling with women—or anyone in BJJ, for that matter—is respect. When you slap hands and bump fists, you’re agreeing to train together. That means giving them the same courtesy and seriousness you’d expect in return.
Sometimes guys make the mistake of either going way too easy because they assume their female partner isn’t capable, or they go too hard to prove some kind of point. Both approaches miss the mark. A respectful roll is one where you’re controlled, intentional, and mindful of your partner’s body.
Think about it like this: your job isn’t to win. Your job is to make sure both of you leave the round a little better than when it started.
Ditch the Ego
Rolling with women can sometimes trigger weird ego stuff for men. Maybe you’re worried about being tapped out by someone smaller, or you don’t want to look like a jerk if you use too much strength. Here’s the thing: leave all that at the door.
If you get submitted, that’s not embarrassing—it’s just jiu-jitsu. Skill beats size and strength all the time, and women are no exception to that rule. If you’re more experienced, use that as a chance to practice control instead of domination. And if you’re newer, don’t underestimate what your partner might be able to do. Some of the most technical grapplers in the room are women who’ve learned to rely on timing and leverage rather than brute force.
Roll Smart, Not Careless
Women, just like men, come in all sizes. You might be paired with a featherweight blue belt or a heavyweight purple belt. Either way, you need to be aware of your size and power if you’re the bigger one.
That doesn’t mean you have to roll like you’re walking on eggshells. It just means you should control your weight distribution, avoid slamming into positions, and be mindful when applying submissions. For example:
Rolling smart isn’t about “going easy”—it’s about being controlled and technical.
Don’t Assume She Wants You to Go Light
One common mistake guys make is assuming their female partner wants them to go light. While sometimes that might be true, a lot of women actually get frustrated when guys treat them like they’re fragile. They’re at the gym to learn, improve, and test themselves, just like you are.
Instead of guessing, communicate. Before the roll, you can always ask something like, “Do you want me to go light, or are you good if I roll normal?” This shows respect and makes sure you’re on the same page.
And remember: “normal” doesn’t mean spazzing out or muscling through everything. It means using your technique, flowing, and rolling responsibly.
Learn From the Experience
Rolling with women can actually improve your jiu-jitsu in big ways. Since a lot of women are smaller and can’t rely on raw strength, they often develop extremely technical games. They get really good at using leverage, timing, and strategy.
When you roll with a skilled female grappler, pay attention to how she sets up her sweeps, controls distance, or creates angles for submissions. You might pick up details you’ve overlooked when rolling with bigger, stronger partners.
In other words, don’t just think about what you’re “giving” to the roll—think about what you’re learning from it.
Addressing the Awkwardness
Let’s be real for a second. For some guys, rolling with women can feel awkward, especially at first. BJJ is a close-contact sport, and you’re going to end up in positions that feel pretty personal. That’s just part of the art, and the more you train, the less weird it feels.
The key is to treat your partner like a teammate, not like a woman first and grappler second. Stay professional, keep your intentions clear, and focus on the training. If you’re respectful, the awkwardness fades away quickly.
What Not to Do
Sometimes the best way to understand how to roll is to look at what not to do. Here are a few big don’ts when training with women:
Creating a Safe and Supportive Training Space
Every gym thrives when the culture is welcoming. If you’re training somewhere like piratebjj offers Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Gym, you’ll notice that the environment is built on community and support. Rolling with women should feel no different from rolling with men—it’s about learning together, respecting each other, and growing as a team.
Women often face unique challenges in martial arts, from being outnumbered to dealing with stereotypes. You can help create a positive environment by treating every training partner equally, encouraging their growth, and making sure the mats feel like a safe space for everyone.
Why Women Are Important Training Partners
Rolling with women brings a lot of benefits beyond just improving your technique. Women often bring a different perspective to training, and they’re a key part of building a well-rounded BJJ community.
When you roll with women, you’re not just getting another round in—you’re helping create a balanced, inclusive gym culture.
Camps, Events, and Growing Together
A lot of gyms hold events where men and women train side by side, building skills and friendships. For example, the Pirate BJJ Fall Break Camp is a great opportunity for everyone—regardless of gender—to sharpen techniques, drill fundamentals, and get in quality rolls. Camps like this reinforce the idea that BJJ is for everyone, and rolling with women is just a normal part of the journey.
Final Thoughts
Rolling with women in BJJ doesn’t need to be complicated. It comes down to respect, communication, and control. Don’t hold back out of fear, and don’t overcompensate with strength or ego. Treat every partner—man or woman—with the same courtesy, and you’ll not only improve your own game but also help create a stronger, more welcoming community on the mats.