Thirty-two years ago today I lost my youngest son to SIDS. It is so hard to lose a child. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I can tell you everything that happened up to that moment. My parents came over that night and stayed with us for a few days. Now I say this out of love, sometimes people say things with a good heart, and they mean well but at a time when someone has just lost someone that they love there are certain things that people should not say. I have been a Christian since I was five years old, however my husband was not raised in a Christian home and was not a strong Christian at that time. My mother said to us that it was okay because our son is now in a better place. Of course, he was in a better place, but at that moment a parent feels like the place their child needed to be is with them. My husband did not take those words too well and because of that he blamed God for taking our child. He wouldn’t talk about it to me, but he refused to go to church for two years. I spent a lot of time praying and showing him through my actions what a wonderful God we do have. The best thing you can do for someone who has just lost someone they love is to let them know that you are there for them and find a way you can help (make a meal to bring over or set up a meal train with your church, offer to help take care of other children, offer to help around the house). I know the people I remember the most are the ones who came over and were just there for me. During times like these actions are far better off than words.

  1. Good words, Kim. I have always tried to do what you recommended and just "Be there." This post I will copy and use in a sermon some day. It is so good. David Broadbent
  2. Kim, I have not had the loss of a son that you have had. I have a difficult time saying and doing the "right" thing. Many of us are living and working to be more obedient to God and to be more "God like". Jesus give s us the example. In a computer it is difficult to do anything. Mostly we write words. When we are together we can "do" more: hug, listen, smile, share ideas, give food, offer money, a room to rest in, etc. Our church and in a small group is a great place for this. I know I do have the right words or actions many times but I will keep trying as long as I can. Help me be the man God wants me to be and I will try to help you and others.