In his popular book, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do, author and pastor Gary Thomas, marriage and family therapist Dr. Steve Wilke and Rebecca Wilke, EdD help couples explore: What marriage means to each individual and whether this is a wise match How to engage in essential relational pursuits such as healthy conflict, sexual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy How to discuss in advance crucial aspects of marriage such as childrearing, finances, and marital roles Why asking hard questions now is better than asking them five years from now